I have since thought a great deal about how people are…
““I have since thought a great deal about how people are able to maintain two attitudes in their minds at once. Take the colonel: He had come fresh from a world of machetes, road gangs, and random death and yet was able to have a civilized conversation with a hotel manager over a glass of beer and let himself be talked out of committing another murder. He had a soft side and a hard side and neither was in absolute control of his actions. It would have been dangerous to assume that he was this way or that way at any given point in the day. It was like those Nazi concentration camp guards who could come home from a day manning the gas chambers and be able to play games with their children, put a Bach record on the turntable, and make love to their wives before getting up to kill to more innocents. And this was not the exception—this was the rule. The cousin of brutality is a terrifying normalcy. So I tried never to see these men in terms of black or white. I saw them instead in degrees of soft and hard . It was the soft that I was trying to locate inside them; once I could get my fingers into it, the advantage was mine. If sitting down with abhorrent people and treating them as friends is what it took to get through to that soft place, then I was more than happy to pour the Scotch.””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
People can hold conflicting soft and hard traits simultaneously, allowing them to act both violently and kindly depending on context.
In simple terms: People can be both cruel and kind at the same time.
Seek the softer side to influence difficult individuals.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- negotiations with hostile parties
- conflict resolution
- peacebuilding
- psychological profiling
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you identify the soft side in a hostile person?
- What risks arise from treating adversaries as friends?
Assuming softness may be exploited; not all individuals reveal a soft side.