What you don't ever catch a glimpse of on your wedding day…
““What you don't ever catch a glimpse of on your wedding day - because how could you? - is that some days you will hate your spouse, that you will look at him and regret ever changing a word with him, let alone a ring and bodily fluids. Nor is it possible to foresee the desperation and depression, that sense that your life is over, the occasional urge to hit your whining child, even though hitting them is something you knew for a fact you would never ever do. And of course you don't think about having affairs, and when you get to that stage in life when you do (and everyone gets there sooner or later), you don't think of the sick feeling you get in your stomach when you're conducting them, their inherent unhappiness. And nor do you think about your husband waking up in the morning being someone you don't recognize. If anyone thought about any of these things, then no one would ever get married, of course they wouldn't; in fact, the impulse to marry would come from the same place as the same impulse to drink a bottle of bleach, and those are the kinds of impulses we try to ignore, rather than celebrate. So we can't afford to think of these things because getting married - or finding a partner whom we will want to spend our lives with and have children by - is on our agenda. It's something we know we will do one day, and if you take that away from us then we are left with promotions at work and the possibility of a winning lottery ticket, and it's not enough, so we kid ourselves that it is possible to enter these partnerships and be faced only with the problems of mud removal, and then we become unhappy and take Prozac and then we get divorced and die alone.””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
The quote argues that marriage blinds people to its potential hardships and darker impulses, suggesting that ignoring these realities fuels unrealistic expectations and eventual dissatisfaction.
In simple terms: Marriage masks inevitable pain and conflict.
Unseen marital struggles lead to disillusionment.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- pre-wedding counseling
- marriage vows
- relationship therapy
- divorce proceedings
Key Concepts
Practical Applications
- counseling programs
- relationship education
Questions to Reflect On
- What aspects of marriage are often overlooked?
- How can couples confront hidden difficulties early?
Some argue marriage can provide support and growth despite challenges, countering the view that it solely leads to unhappiness.