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It wasn't that I wanted to know her now. I wanted to have…

“It wasn't that I wanted to know her now. I wanted to have already known her. I wanted her fears and her desires to have shaped my life. I know this is not love, of course. What it is is a queer feeling of nostalgia for an impossible future, for what can never be. That's fantasy. Love is different.” quote by John Dufresne
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““It wasn't that I wanted to know her now. I wanted to have already known her. I wanted her fears and her desires to have shaped my life. I know this is not love, of course. What it is is a queer feeling of nostalgia for an impossible future, for what can never be. That's fantasy. Love is different.””

John Dufresne

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The speaker longs for a deep, pre‑existing intimacy that feels impossible, distinguishing it from true love.

In simple terms: A yearning for a connection that can’t exist yet.

Key Takeaway

Accept that love grows over time, not from imagined futures.

Themes

longing fantasy love nostalgia

Mood

melancholic reflective

Type

philosophical literary

When to use this quote

  • college relationships
  • first love
  • personal reflection

Key Concepts

pre‑existing intimacy idealization unrealizable desire

Questions to Reflect On

  • Do you often idealize relationships before they begin?
  • How can you differentiate longing from love?
A Different Perspective

It may romanticize unattainable expectations, hindering real connections.

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