Scots, wha hae wi' Wallace bled; Scots, wham Bruce has…

“-I die. Before I die my body turns hair-side-in. People come from everywhere to see the insides of themselves. But the sight makes them…

— Joe Haldeman

“love was an unstable reaction with a half-life of about eight months. Bullshit, I said, and accused him of wearing cultural blinders; thirty centuries…

— Joe Haldeman

“It was the cat, who had the usual talent for hiding from people who like cats and cleaving unto those who have sinus trouble…

— Joe Haldeman

“I die. I breathe in and breahe in and cannot exhale. I explode all over my friends. They forget my name and pretend it…

— Joe Haldeman

All experience is memory, and so everything you write about is from memory-unless you're writing about typing.

— Joe Haldeman

Relativity propped it up, at least gave it the illusion of being there…the way all reality becomes illusory and observer-oriented when you study general…

— Joe Haldeman

“I die. O my hair falls out and my flesh rots and my bones are cracked by the hungry ta!a'an. He drops me behind…

— Joe Haldeman

“He's asleep in the harbor, disguised as dog shit.”

— Joe Haldeman

“all reality becomes illusory and observer-oriented when you study general relativity. Or Buddhism. Or get drafted.”

— Joe Haldeman

“We're headed for Aleph-7. Panty raid." New slang term for the type of operation whose main object was to gather Tauran artifacts, and prisoners…

— Joe Haldeman

Big money seeks out the company of its own, for purposes of reproduction.

— Joe Haldeman

“On Earth, we’d just use glue, but here the only fluid was helium, which has lots of interesting properties, but is definitely not sticky.”

— Joe Haldeman

“... then unleashed Stargate's 18 sex-starved men on our women, compliant and promiscuous by military custom and law...”

— Joe Haldeman

“He had a moustache-and-beard combination that looked like a skinny white caterpillar taking a lap around his mouth.”

— Joe Haldeman

“Politicians cover their mistakes with money; cooks cover their mistakes with mayonnaise; doctors cover theirs with dirt.”

— Joe Haldeman