Touch was absolutely out of the question. I couldn’t stop…
““Touch was absolutely out of the question. I couldn’t stop sweating. My heart, a butterfly pinned to a glacier. Empires fell inside my mouth. I touched myself like a pogrom & broke my sex into a history of inconsequential shames. I wept viciously inside of my own stomach & had it condemned. From an upside-down bell I drank silence, subsisted on the memory of someone else’s hands. Wolves sang & I did not answer. I forgot their names. Mornings were the worst, then there were days & evenings. Streetlights & darkened sycamore & suburban grief so full it made me foolish. I shattered my fist on the Lord’s jaw. Sorrow sat, licking my wrists & my neck. I slept at its convenience. O, uncelebrated body. My penis, a lighthouse on the bottom of the ocean, shining shadows at the undersides of boats. Nobody drowned for so many years. Desperate for the making of those candy-throated ghosts, I found the rooms between the violence of comets. I threw myself into anything’s path. Even the sky bent around me. How lonely to be something that nothing wants to kill. (So I Locked Myself Inside A Star for Twenty Years)””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
The poem portrays intense internal anguish, sexual self‑consciousness, and alienation, using surreal imagery to convey profound sorrow and yearning for connection.
In simple terms: Deep sorrow and alienation expressed via surreal imagery.
Key Takeaway
Seek connection and self‑acceptance to alleviate inner turmoil.
Themes
sorrow
alienation
sexual identity
surrealism
self‑reflection
existential crisis
Mood
despair
lonely
introspective
Type
poetic
emotional
null
When to use this quote
- therapy
- creative writing
- support groups
- mindful meditation
Key Concepts
inner conflict
body image
despair
creative expression
Questions to Reflect On
- What emotions surface when reading this?
- How might you express similar feelings constructively?
A Different Perspective
Extreme abstraction may obscure actionable insight.