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Dear 2600: Tell me how much one of your hackers would…

“Dear 2600: Tell me how much one of your hackers would charge me to delete my criminal record from the Texas police database. [NAME DELETED] Well, we would start with erasing your latest crime, that of soliciting a minor to commit another crime. (Your request was read by a small child here in the…” quote by Emmanuel Goldstein
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““Dear 2600: Tell me how much one of your hackers would charge me to delete my criminal record from the Texas police database. [NAME DELETED] Well, we would start with erasing your latest crime, that of soliciting a minor to commit another crime. (Your request was read by a small child here in the office.) After you’re all paid up on that, we will send out the bill for hiding your identity by not printing your real name, which you sent us like the meathead you apparently are. After that’s all sorted, we can assemble our team of hackers, who sit around the office waiting for such lucrative opportunities as this to come along, and figure out even more ways to shake you down. It’s what we do, after all. Just ask Fox News.””

Emmanuel Goldstein

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

A satirical threat about hiring hackers to erase crimes and extort money, highlighting moral corruption and abuse of power.

In simple terms: A dark joke about using hackers for illegal favors.

Key Takeaway

Beware of exploiting criminal networks.

Themes

corruption extortion technology ethics

Mood

cynical dark humor

Type

satire commentary

When to use this quote

  • online blackmail
  • legal investigations
  • cybersecurity
  • law enforcement
  • media criticism

Key Concepts

power dynamics anonymity crime exploitation

Questions to Reflect On

  • What does this reveal about trust in digital anonymity?
  • How can societies deter such abuses?
A Different Perspective

The scenario is fictional and exaggerated, not a real service.

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