When women display the necessary confidence in their…
““When women display the necessary confidence in their skills and comfort with power, they run the risk of being regarded as ‘competent but cold’: the bitch, the ice queen, the iron maiden, the ballbuster, the battle axe, the dragon lady … The sheer number of synonyms is telling. Put bluntly, we don’t like the look of self-promotion and power on a woman. In experimental studies, women who behave in an agentic fashion experience backlash: they are rated as less socially skilled, and thus less hireable for jobs that require people skills as well as competence than are men who behave in an identical fashion. And yet if women don’t show confidence, ambition and competitiveness then evaluators may use gender stereotypes to fill in the gaps, and assume that these are important qualities she lacks. Thus, the alternative to being competent but cold is to be regarded as ‘nice but incompetent’.15 This catch-22 positions women who seek leadership roles on a ‘tightrope of impression management’.16””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
Women who assert confidence and power are often judged harshly, labeled as cold or unapproachable, creating a double bind between competence and likability.
In simple terms: Confident women are unfairly seen as cold, limiting their career prospects.
Key Takeaway
Balance confidence with warmth to avoid backlash.
Themes
gender bias
leadership
impression management
stereotypes
Mood
frustrated
determined
hopeful
Type
analytical
motivational
When to use this quote
- job interviews
- team leadership
- networking events
- performance reviews
Key Concepts
double bind
backlash
social perception
Questions to Reflect On
- How can organizations redesign evaluation criteria to reduce gendered backlash?
- What personal strategies help maintain authenticity while navigating stereotypes?
A Different Perspective
Women may still be penalized despite efforts to appear warm.