The heterosexuals who hate us should just stop having us.

These ballot initiatives against same sex marriage remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so…

— Lewis Black

We do not recruit. We can only impress.

— Marga Gomez

The next time someone asks you, 'Hey, how did you get to be a homosexual anyway?' tell them, 'Homosexuals are chosen first on talent,…

— Karen Williams

Using the word 'gay' as a euphemism for homosexual is fine I guess. But I've always thought a word like 'fabulous' might have been…

— Michael Greer

If I wrote a National Coming Out Day card to give to my parents, it would say, 'Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm…

— Sabrina Matthews

Gay marriage is spreading around the country, first Massachusetts, then San Francisco and now the small town of New Paltz, New York. The mayor…

— Bill Maher

Homosexuality may be proscribed in the Old Testament, but it's not in the New, because I believe that Jesus was more tolerant. 'I'm bringing…

— Judy Brown

They say you can't tell guys are gay just by looking. But if two guys are kissing, you can figure at least one of…

— Bill Braudis

My friend said to me, I like girl who smell good. I said to him, okay! you are not gay.

— Mahi

Homosexuals want the right to be married. But I think they really want the right to be divorced. Forget it! Divorce is ours.

— Basil White

I didn't choose to be gay; I was chosen. 'Are you serious? I get to be queer? Oh, thank you. I didn't even fill…

— Suzanne Westenhoefer

Okay, yes, there is a homosexual agenda. But there's just two things on it: Number one: don't get killed. Number two: a decent brunch.…

— Elvira Kurt

If they don't want us in the military, then I say that straight men shouldn't be allowed to be florists and straight women can't…

— Danny Williams

You Say: I Should be Straight. I Say: Taste the Rainbow Bitch!

— Anonymous

The sodomy laws have been overturned, so now we can overturn each other.

— Craig Kilborn