When sleep came, I would dream bad dreams. Not the baby…
““When sleep came, I would dream bad dreams. Not the baby and the big man with a cigarette-lighter dream. Another dream. The castle dream. A little girl of about six who looks -like me, but isn’t me, is happy as she steps out of the car with her daddy. They enter the castle and go down the steps to the dungeon where people move like shadows in the glow of burning candles. There are carpets and funny pictures on the walls. Some of the people wear hoods and robes. Sometimes they chant in droning voices that make the little girl afraid. There are other children, some of them without any clothes on. There is an altar like the altar in nearby St Mildred’s Church. The children take turns lying on that altar so the people, mostly men, but a few women, can kiss and lick their private parts. The daddy holds the hand of the little girl tightly. She looks up at him and he smiles. The little girl likes going out with her daddy. I did want to tell Dr Purvis these dreams but I didn’t want her to think I was crazy, and so kept them to myself. The psychiatrist was wiser than I appreciated at the time; sixteen-year-olds imagine they are cleverer than they really are. Dr Purvis knew I had suffered psychological damage as a child, that’s why she kept making a fresh appointment week after week. But I was unable to give her the tools and clues to find out exactly what had happened.””
About This Quote
This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.
The narrator describes vivid, disturbing dreams involving a child, a father, and sexual abuse in a church-like setting, revealing trauma and fear of sharing these experiences with a therapist.
In simple terms: Dreams reveal deep trauma and fear of judgment.
Key Takeaway
Seek safe spaces to process trauma.
Themes
trauma
dreams
abuse
therapy
trust
Mood
distressed
introspective
Type
therapeutic
narrative
When to use this quote
- counseling
- support groups
- personal reflection
- mental health care
Key Concepts
psychology
memory
repression
healing
Questions to Reflect On
- What does the dream symbolize?
- How can one safely discuss trauma?
A Different Perspective
Dreams may be symbolic, not literal.