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We might imagine that the fear and insecurity of getting…

“We might imagine that the fear and insecurity of getting close to someone would happen only once, at the start of a relationship, and that anxieties couldn’t possibly continue after two people had made some explicit commitments to one another, like marrying, securing a joint mortgage, buying a…” quote by Alain de Botton
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““We might imagine that the fear and insecurity of getting close to someone would happen only once, at the start of a relationship, and that anxieties couldn’t possibly continue after two people had made some explicit commitments to one another, like marrying, securing a joint mortgage, buying a house, having a few children, and naming each other in their wills. Yet conquering distance and gaining assurances that we are needed aren’t exercises to be performed only once; they have to be repeated every time there’s been a break—a day away, a busy period, an evening at work—for every interlude has the power once again to raise the question of whether or not we are still wanted.””

Alain de Botton

About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Even after commitments, relationships need continual reassurance; distance can revive doubts, requiring ongoing effort to feel needed.

In simple terms: Love needs repeated reassurance, not just initial vows.

Key Takeaway

Regularly reaffirm affection and support.

Themes

relationships trust commitment insecurity

Mood

reflective thoughtful

Type

philosophical inspirational

When to use this quote

  • marriage
  • long‑distance partnership
  • busy schedules

Key Concepts

attachment theory emotional labor reassurance

Questions to Reflect On

  • What habits keep love feeling fresh?
  • How do you address recurring doubts?
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