On 'Meet the Press' yesterday President Bush was asked what he would do if he lost the election and Bush said, ''Phhh,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Iraqis sat down for talks on how to put together a post-war government. They would have sat down yesterday, but somebody… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
(Gray) Davis said yesterday that he is going to fight like a Bengal tiger, which I believe is also an endangered species. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday President Obama said, 'We can't continue to treat tax money like monopoly money.' Oh really - how come all those guys… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday Gary Condit spent the whole day attending an agricultural meeting. Boy, that's when you know a congressman's in real trouble: when… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday, Saddam Hussein got 100 percent of the vote. Well, that's according to Saddam's campaign manager, Jeb Hussein. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Rick Perry was philosophical about (his election losses). He said, 'Last week was Iowa. Yesterday was New Hampshire. ' He said at… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you know, there were lots of huge marches around the country yesterday to protest the immigration laws. The marches had quite… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Barack Obama said yesterday that the economy was 'going to get worse before it gets better.' See, that's when you know the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday, President-elect Barack Obama announced his new economic team. You know what he should do? Hire those people who were in charge… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
At a press conference yesterday NASA announced that 2005 was the hottest year on record. It is so hot, and global warming… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'Id like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush was in Los Angeles yesterday where he announced his new campaign theme - “Safer, Stronger, and Tested.” Isn't that a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday in New York City, Donald Trump officially changed his political affiliation from Republican to Independent. And Donald's hair has switched from… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama was in India yesterday visiting our jobs. Tomorrow he goes to China to visit our money. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to federal reports filed yesterday, the Obama campaign spent more money than they raised in the month of May. They spent… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday all five living presidents gathered for the opening of the George W. Bush presidential library in Dallas. Well, six living presidents… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday morning Facebook was temporarily offline, leaving millions of workers unable to do anything except their jobs. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A lot of Congressmen yesterday were upset when Kenneth Lay took the Fifth. Lay said it wasn't his fault. He had planned… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
