We are the folk song army, every one of us cares. We all hate poverty, war, and injustice unlike the rest of… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that's not exactly a full-time job. It wasn't that I was writing… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
If you asked me to write a rock song or a rap song, I couldn't do it because they're not in my… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I'm not an original composer. The tunes are not stolen from other tunes necessarily except in a few cases, but they're in… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I recall this sergeant's informing me and my "room-mates" of this rather deplorable fact the army didn't have any official, excuse me,… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Once you've heard the joke, it's not funny anymore, but it's the way it's told. And I think that's the same with… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I was immersed in popular songs of the time, of the '30s and '40s. I was writing songs, making fun of the… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
There's something mathematically satisfying about music: notes fit together and harmony and all that. And mathematics has to do with abstractions and… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Things are much more complicated. Feminism versus pornography, for example. There are a lot of feminists who think it is bad, but… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I find that if you take the various popular song forms to their logical extremes, you can arrive at almost anything from… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write.… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Plagiarize, plagiarize, / Let no man's work evade your eyes, / Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, / Don't shade your eyes,… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
I ache for the touch of your lips dear, but much more for the touch of your whips dear. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
When someone makes a move Of which we don't approve, Who is it that always intervenes? U.N. and O.A.S., They have their place, I… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
Don't solicit for your sister, it's not nice. Unless you get a good percentage of her price. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
“I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky. In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize!… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
Counting in octal is just likst counting in decimal--if you don't use your thumbs. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
On Christmas day you can't get sore, Your fellow man you must adore, There's time to cheat him all the more The other three… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
There's something mathematically satisfying about music: notes fit together and harmony and all that. And mathematics has to do with abstractions and making connections. — Tom Lehrer Copy Share
