Geraldo has returned to the states. See? I told you airline security was a joke. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
At the airport if you refuse to be patted down, they arrest you. And what's the first thing they do when they… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Remember the good old days when the only bomb you had to worry about on a plane was the Rob Schneider movie? — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The other day the plane that Barack Obama was on had some mechanical difficulties and was forced to land. Well, the National… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The FCC is considering lifting the ban on cellphone calls on planes. The good news is you'll be able to make calls… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I flew this past weekend. I went through airport security and said to the guy, 'Is everything okay?' He said, 'You might… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
That must be strange, cheating on your wife with a flight attendant. They're in bed and she's says, 'In the event that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Those two pilots that sped 150 miles past their Minneapolis destination have been suspended. They got suspended because they were looking at… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It happened again this week. Hundreds of people had to be evacuated from O'Hare Airport in Chicago. Seems every time somebody went… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The federal government said today they've begun training sessions for airport security workers to provide what they call more customer satisfaction to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
