I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of them. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Work like you don't need the money. Dance like no one is watching. And love like you've never been hurt.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Unexpected money is a delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“There is no regular system of taxation, but when the Emperor or the Bashaw want money, they levy on some rich man,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, and over these ideals they dispute-but they all worship… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
We like to read about rich people in the newspapers; the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The holy passion of friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring in nature that it will last through a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is at our mother's knee that we acquire our noblest and truest and highest ideals, but there is seldom any money… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Yes - en I's rich now, come to look at it. I owns myself, en I's wuth eight hund'd dollars. I wisht… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Of course, there are many rich men in the empire, but their money is buried, and they dress in rags and counterfeit… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must. Who is God,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“My financial views are of the most decided character, but they are not likely, perhaps, to increase my popularity with the advocates… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money's sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal. That… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Knighterrantry is a most chuckleheaded trade, and it is tedious hard work, too, but I begin to see that there is money… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“His wife, Electra, was a capable helpmeet, although—like himself— a dreamer of dreams and a private dabbler in romance. The first thing… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Will a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at them—and by laughing at them… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Now the way that the book winds up is this: Tom and me found the money that the robbers hid in the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Now the way that the book winds up is this: Tom and me found the money that the robbers hid in the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“These coins are not very valuable. Jack went out to get a napoleon changed, so as to have money suited to the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I wonder if God created man because He was disappointed with the monkey. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
