As of right now, I am in love with her, and that love is the biggest problem in my life. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Life is rarely about what happened; it's mostly about what we think happened. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Even eternally free people are enslaved by the process of living. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Maybe it takes forty years of your life to understand how the world seems to work. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“...because people who talk about their dreams are actually trying to tell you things about themselves they'd never admit in normal conversation.… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
And all I could do while I listened to this dude tell me how punk rock saved his life was think, Wow.… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
If you’re the type of person who wants to associate exclusively with those who perfectly mirror your own ethical worldview, you’re reducing… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
We’re all tourists, sort of. Life is tourism, sort of. As far as I’m concerned, the dinosaurs still hold the lease on… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
We are always dying, all the time. That's what living is; living is dying, little by little. It is a sequenced collection… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
I think this is the kind of thing where we're rapidly moving toward an age where most of the populace will be… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“The main problem with mass media is that it makes it impossible to fall in love with any acumen of normalcy. There… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“I sometimes wonder how many hours of my life I have wasted bitching about keyboards. The use of keyboards and synthesizers is… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“My feelings about politics and literature and mathematics and the rest of life’s minutiae can only be described through a labyrinthine of… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Prior to the early 20th century, for the totality of humankind's existence if they saw something moving, it meant it was there.… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
I cannot imagine the type of sinister fiend who would be against the library. A library essentially says, 'Look, here is some… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
But whenever I meet dynamic, nonretarded Americans, I notice that they all seem to share a single unifying characteristic: the inability to… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
There are two ways to look at life. The first view is that nothing stays the same and that nothing is inherently… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Maybe I don't need a relationship after all, she thought. Maybe thinking about these conversations was just as good as having them.… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“The stark, pedestrian images used by filmmakers (probably out of financial necessity) expressed nothing, symbolically or metaphorically. The only purpose they served… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“She said to me, “How is it going, Mitch?” I said, “Okay.” But this is not really true, because she did not… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Sometimes I think that the amount of time you live on earth is just an inverse reflection of how good you were… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“When you start thinking about what your life was like 10 years ago--and not in general terms, but in highly specific detail--it's… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“What are the things that make adults depressed? The master list is too comprehensive to quantify (plane crashes, unemployment, killer bees, impotence,… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“Though I obviously have no proof of this, the one aspect of life that seems clear to me is that good people… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“But I still feel like I lost. We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime.… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It's easy. The first girl I ever… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
We would sit in the living room, drink a case of Busch beer, and throw the empty cans into the kitchen for… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“I never feel weird about being the main character in the nontransferable, nonexistent movie of my life. That’s totally fine. What makes… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“We all convince ourselves of things like this- not necessarily about Say Anything, but about any fictionalized portrayals of romance that happen… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
...I've spent the last fifteen years of my life railing against the game of soccer, an exercise that has been lauded as… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
I also did an Ozzy piece for him, and so I got hired. Everything happened really fast. I can't give people advice,… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
I hate motorcycles. Because if I hit one, even if it's not my fault, if I've done nothing wrong, I'm not charged… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
I almost never get lonely. I love being alone. I'm glad I'm married, and I love my wife. But there's never been… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
Some say that time is like water that flows around us (like a stone in the river) and some say we flow… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
“Once people decide they want you to do something, they don’t really care what your qualifications are. However you describe yourself becomes… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share Image
The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
“I suppose we'll never know what really happened in that room, though he did tell police, "I did it because I'm a dirty dog."… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Do you know people who insist they like 'all kinds of music'? That actually means they like no kinds of music. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Let's say Twitter existed during the Civil War. We would have a better understanding of people in the Confederacy who were against slavery, people… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
All my friends are rock critics, so we talk about rock criticism a lot. Because of that, in order to be part of the… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
If rain is God crying, I think God is drunk and his girlfriend just slept with Zeus. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
But no matter how many times we re-rank the presidents, in another 200 years, the top presidents will still be Washington and Lincoln and… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Different critics go to different lengths to disagree with that sentiment, but ultimately, they're the person experiencing this art, and whatever judgment or taste… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
First, you must love yourself. And if you do that convincingly enough, others will love you too much. — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Anyone who claims to be good at lying is obviously bad at lying. Thus - as a writer myself - I cannot comment on… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
“I care about strangers when they're abstractions but feel almost nothing when they are literally in front of me. They seem like unnamed characters… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
“Toby Keith writes songs like 1993's "Should've Been a Cowboy," and what's compelling is that you can't deconstruct its message. "Should've Been a Cowboy"… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
Some say that time is like water that flows around us (like a stone in the river) and some say we flow with time… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
[On political correctness:] Any intended message mattered less than the received message, and every received message could be interpreted in whatever way the receiver… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
In baseball and sex, cliches are usually true: pitching beats hitting, and people always want to be loved by anyone who doesn't seem to… — Chuck Klosterman Copy Share
