Life is hard. And we better laugh at everything, otherwise we're going down the tube. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Comedy exists to laugh at things that aren't laughable. But isn't it? That's what separates us from the animals. We laugh. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
What makes me laugh is, of course, the absurd, the horror - anything that upsets me. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Life is so tough. I don't know how old you are, but I've seen so much in a wink. One phone call… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I made so many jokes about poor Russell Crowe, he once knocked on my dressing room door, and told me he wanted… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Part of my act is meant to shake you up. It looks like I'm being funny, but I'm reminding you of other… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I truly think comedy is - being funny is DNA. My dad was a doctor, a wonderful doctor, and people still come… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Life is very tough, you know. You sit at a dinner party and talk to the person on your right or your… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time. — Joan Rivers Copy Share
I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous. — Joan Rivers Copy Share
Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink"? It's like talking… — Joan Rivers Copy Share
