---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If this was cynical, then we must allow…"
description: "\"“If this was cynical, then we must allow that all courtship is cynical.”\" — Zoë Heller"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/233/zo-heller-19571_courtship_if-this-was-cynical-then-we-must-allow-t_1313704.png"
---

#  If this was cynical, then we must allow that all courtship…

![“If this was cynical, then we must allow that all courtship is cynical.” quote by Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/233/zo-heller-19571_courtship_if-this-was-cynical-then-we-must-allow-t_1313704.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/233/zo-heller-19571_courtship_if-this-was-cynical-then-we-must-allow-t_1313704.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/233/zo-heller-19571_courtship_if-this-was-cynical-then-we-must-allow-t_1313704.png)

> ““If this was cynical, then we must allow that all courtship is cynical.””

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

If cynicism is present, then all courtship is presumed cynical, highlighting distrust in romantic intentions.

**In simple terms:** Cynicism casts all romance in doubt.

Key Takeaway

Question assumptions about trust.

Themes

romance trust skepticism

Mood

cautious skeptical

Type

literary conversational

When to use this quote

- first dates
- online dating
- long‑term relationships
- marriage counseling

Key Concepts

psychology of love social expectations

Questions to Reflect On

- Do you trust your partner’s motives?
- How can sincerity be shown in courtship?

A Different Perspective

Not all relationships are insincere.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Courtship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/courtship/) [Cynical](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cynical/) [Cynicism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cynicism/) [Pessimism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pessimism/) [Romance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/romance/)

## Related quotes

> [In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-waters/in-a-cruel-and-evil-world-being-cynical-can-allow-you-to-get-some/)

[Daniel Waters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-waters/)

> [“That's what I've never been able to get about religion: that charmless combination of altruism and insanity. Give me a cynical, self-interested bastard any…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-carey/that-s-what-i-ve-never-been-able-to-get-about-religion-that-charmless/)

[Mike Carey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-carey/)

> [Young people are cynical about love. Ultimately, cynicism is the great mask of the disappointed and betrayed heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bell-hooks/young-people-are-cynical-about-love-ultimately-cynicism-is-the-great/)

[Bell Hooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bell-hooks/)

> [Nothing ever guarantees you anything-that's my rule. My other rule is never believe anything that anyone tells you, and then you'll never be fooled.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-hyde-pierce/nothing-ever-guarantees-you-anything-that-s-my-rule-my-other-rule-is/)

[David Hyde Pierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-hyde-pierce/)

> [A superhero is someone who, at some point or in some way, inspires hope or is the enemy of cynicism. Even if you bog…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-waid/a-superhero-is-someone-who-at-some-point-or-in-some-way-inspires-hope/)

[Mark Waid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-waid/)

> [Our line of work is very cynical, and a lot of it is driven by cynicism, cruelty, and meanness. It's easier to believe the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shawn-michaels/our-line-of-work-is-very-cynical-and-a-lot-of-it-is-driven-by/)

[Shawn Michaels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shawn-michaels/)

> [“I watched him, sardonic, cynical. A great poet, truly, yet unkind. The gifts of our nature seem not to modify the manner of our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanette-winterson/i-watched-him-sardonic-cynical-a-great-poet-truly-yet-unkind-the/)

[Jeanette Winterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanette-winterson/)

> [I’m actually trying to make sense of the world. There’s nothing cynical or absurd in what I do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yue-minjun/i-m-actually-trying-to-make-sense-of-the-world-there-s-nothing/)

Yue Minjun

> [“I know life is not rainbows and butterflies, but I’d rather die delusional than being a mature cynic.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhaidev/i-know-life-is-not-rainbows-and-butterflies-but-i-d-rather-die/)

[Abhaidev](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhaidev/)

> [For me, a really radical position for journalism to take is to stop being cynical. Cynicism is what passes for insight among the mediocre.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-klein/for-me-a-really-radical-position-for-journalism-to-take-is-to-stop/)

[Joe Klein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-klein/)

> [All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young people: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/all-i-ask-is-one-thing-and-i-m-asking-this-particularly-of-young/)

[Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/)

> [The opposite of creativity is cynicism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esa-saarinen/the-opposite-of-creativity-is-cynicism/)

Esa Saarinen

> [“Home? What is home? Home is where a house is that you come back to when the rainy season is about to begin, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cornell-woolrich/home-what-is-home-home-is-where-a-house-is-that-you-come-back-to-when/)

[Cornell Woolrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cornell-woolrich/)

> [“I'm getting old, thought Eileen Calder. Old and worn out and cynical. And being cynical is a lot worse than being old or worn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-sheffield/i-m-getting-old-thought-eileen-calder-old-and-worn-out-and-cynical/)

[Charles Sheffield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-sheffield/)

> [Refuse to be cynical. Refuse to think that things can never change.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-callaway/refuse-to-be-cynical-refuse-to-think-that-things-can-never-change/)

John Callaway

## More by Zoë Heller

> [“All my life I have been the sort of person in whom people confide. And all my life I have been flattered by this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/all-my-life-i-have-been-the-sort-of-person-in-whom-people-confide-and/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [It's similar to the way you feel cuddling an infant or a kitten, when you want to squeeze it so hard you'd kill it...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/it-s-similar-to-the-way-you-feel-cuddling-an-infant-or-a-kitten-when/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [“Music, together with certain sorts of majestic landscape, had a well-known tendency to induce such faux-sublime moments: artificial intimations of transcendent truths, grandiose hunches…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/music-together-with-certain-sorts-of-majestic-landscape-had-a-well/)

[Zoe Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [We are bound by the secrets we share.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/we-are-bound-by-the-secrets-we-share/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [“Being alone is not the most awful thing in the world. You visit your museums and cultivate your interests and remind yourself how lucky…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/being-alone-is-not-the-most-awful-thing-in-the-world-you-visit-your/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [For most people, honesty is such an unusual departure from their standard modus operandi - such an abherration in their workaday mendacity - that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/for-most-people-honesty-is-such-an-unusual-departure-from-their/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [Somewhere between sanity and madness lays a fine line, for some it is a tightrope walked daily, a fight for balance to be won…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/somewhere-between-sanity-and-madness-lays-a-fine-line-for-some-it-is/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [“But that I should have ended up in a place like this seems too custom-made a nightmare to be the work of mere ill…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/but-that-i-should-have-ended-up-in-a-place-like-this-seems-too-custom/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [It's hard to resist the magical thinking that the work habits of great writers are the key to their greatness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/it-s-hard-to-resist-the-magical-thinking-that-the-work-habits-of/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [“...elegance loses its power in the presence of the properly stupid...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/elegance-loses-its-power-in-the-presence-of-the-properly-stupid/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [“The conclusion of Dowell's narrative offers not a resolution, so much as a plangent confirmation of complexities. While Ford would certainly have agreed with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/the-conclusion-of-dowell-s-narrative-offers-not-a-resolution-so-much/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [“I could feel Monika nudging me furiously at this point, but I refused to look at her. I wasn’t feeling particularly reverent about my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/i-could-feel-monika-nudging-me-furiously-at-this-point-but-i-refused/)

[Zoe Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [“Sheba has often told me that she thinks there's a rhythm to married life, an ebb and flow in the pleasure that a couple…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/sheba-has-often-told-me-that-she-thinks-there-s-a-rhythm-to-married/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [“He had made a fairly unambiguous pass at her, as she was getting out of the cab. But event that had come to nothing.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/he-had-made-a-fairly-unambiguous-pass-at-her-as-she-was-getting-out/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

> [It seems to me that my lack of faith is not, as I once thought, a triumph of the rational mind, but rather a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/it-seems-to-me-that-my-lack-of-faith-is-not-as-i-once-thought-a/)

[Zoë Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

[Explore all 32 Zoë Heller quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/)

## More Courtship quotes

> [There are so many spiders, and their rituals, their mating rituals, their courtship ritual, can be very, very different.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isabella-rossellini/there-are-so-many-spiders-and-their-rituals-their-mating-rituals/)

[Isabella Rossellini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isabella-rossellini/)

> [“Courtship is the time during which the girl decides whether or not she can do any better. Anonymous”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shmuley-boteach/courtship-is-the-time-during-which-the-girl-decides-whether-or-not/)

[Shmuley Boteach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shmuley-boteach/)

> [“Courtship is an activity whereby one losses oneself … whilst trying to win someone’s love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/courtship-is-an-activity-whereby-one-losses-oneself-whilst-trying-to/)

[Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/)

> [Love is a blazing, crackling, green-wood flame, as much smoke as flame; friendship, married friendship particularly, is a steady,intense, comfortable fire. Love, in courtship,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-richardson/love-is-a-blazing-crackling-green-wood-flame-as-much-smoke-as-flame/)

[Samuel Richardson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-richardson/)

> [So far, I haven't met anyone, and with an average fifteen-hour workday schedule, I hardly think it's probable... For the sake of my making…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raymond-burr/so-far-i-haven-t-met-anyone-and-with-an-average-fifteen-hour-workday/)

[Raymond Burr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raymond-burr/)

> [I didn't want to tell the story of what makes two people come together, although that's a theme of great power and universality. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-gabaldon/i-didn-t-want-to-tell-the-story-of-what-makes-two-people-come/)

[Diana Gabaldon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-gabaldon/)

> [Women are angels, wooing: Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing: That she beloved knows naught, that knows not this-- Men…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/women-are-angels-wooing-things-won-are-done-joy-s-soul-lies-in-the/)

[William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/)

> [“The first six months are what I call the La La Land phase. This is what a lot of romantic novels, songs, and movies…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pamela-cummins/the-first-six-months-are-what-i-call-the-la-la-land-phase-this-is/)

[Pamela Cummins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pamela-cummins/)

> [Ladies, A real man does more than loving and caring for you¦He loves Jesus more than you could do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/loveleah/ladies-a-real-man-does-more-than-loving-and-caring-for-you-he-loves/)

Loveleah

> [Over the years of courtship and being together, we realized that there was no value left for anything. People just want to know what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kareena-kapoor/over-the-years-of-courtship-and-being-together-we-realized-that-there/)

[Kareena Kapoor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kareena-kapoor/)

> [“Courtship had a new rule book. Somewhere. She’d never read it and doubted anyone else in her generation had either.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carrie-lomax/courtship-had-a-new-rule-book-somewhere-she-d-never-read-it-and/)

Carrie Lomax

> [When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-einstein/when-you-are-courting-a-nice-girl-an-hour-seems-like-a-second/)

[Albert Einstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-einstein/)

> [The loss of courtship in modern days - like, people don't court anybody anymore. There's no beauty about it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sofia-vassilieva/the-loss-of-courtship-in-modern-days-like-people-don-t-court-anybody/)

[Sofia Vassilieva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sofia-vassilieva/)

> [“Careful,” he said. “If you keep blushing like that I may do more than just draw you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nenia-campbell/careful-he-said-if-you-keep-blushing-like-that-i-may-do-more-than/)

[Nenia Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nenia-campbell/)

> [The natural world is full of females falling hard for stupid male display behavior, including bright feathers, big antlers, and bombastic courtship rituals.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-conniff/the-natural-world-is-full-of-females-falling-hard-for-stupid-male/)

[Richard Conniff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-conniff/)

[Browse all 245 Courtship quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/courtship/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“If this was cynical, then we must allow that all courtship is cynical.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Zoë Heller"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/if-this-was-cynical-then-we-must-allow-that-all-courtship-is-cynical/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Courtship"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/if-this-was-cynical-then-we-must-allow-that-all-courtship-is-cynical/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/233/zo-heller-19571_courtship_if-this-was-cynical-then-we-must-allow-t_1313704.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/233/zo-heller-19571_courtship_if-this-was-cynical-then-we-must-allow-t_1313704.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/233/zo-heller-19571_courtship_if-this-was-cynical-then-we-must-allow-t_1313704.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“If this was cynical, then we must allow that all courtship is cynical.” — Zoë Heller",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Zoë Heller",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zo-heller/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“If this was cynical, then we...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/if-this-was-cynical-then-we-must-allow-that-all-courtship-is-cynical/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zo-heller/if-this-was-cynical-then-we-must-allow-that-all-courtship-is-cynical/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
