---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: They were married before they were…"
description: "\"“They were married before they were friends, which is another way of saying: Their marriage was the occasion of their friendship. They were married bef..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecd/zadie-smith-584_dreams_they-were-married-before-they-were-frien_1630939.png"
---

#  They were married before they were friends, which is…

![“They were married before they were friends, which is another way of saying: Their marriage was the occasion of their friendship. They were married before they noticed many small differences in background, aspiration, education, ambition. (...) Noting such differences, Leah was in some sense…” quote by Zadie Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecd/zadie-smith-584_dreams_they-were-married-before-they-were-frien_1630939.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecd/zadie-smith-584_dreams_they-were-married-before-they-were-frien_1630939.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecd/zadie-smith-584_dreams_they-were-married-before-they-were-frien_1630939.png)

> ““They were married before they were friends, which is another way of saying: Their marriage was the occasion of their friendship. They were married before they noticed many small differences in background, aspiration, education, ambition. (...) Noting such differences, Leah was in some sense disappointed in herself that they did not cause real conflict between them. It was hard to get used to the fact that the pleasure her body found in his, and vice versa, should so easily overrule the many objections she had, or should have had, or thought she should have had.””

[Zadie Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zadie-smith/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Marriage can start as a partnership before true friendship forms, leading to surprise when differences surface.

**In simple terms:** Friends can become spouses before truly knowing each other.

Key Takeaway

Cultivate friendship within marriage.

Themes

marriage friendship expectations identity

Mood

introspective empathetic

Type

literary psychological

When to use this quote

- marriage counseling
- relationship building
- personal growth
- conflict resolution

Key Concepts

psychology of relationships self-discovery

Questions to Reflect On

- What expectations did they have?
- How can couples foster deeper understanding?

A Different Perspective

Romantic love may mask underlying incompatibilities.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Differences Leah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/differences-leah-482582/) [Dreams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dreams/) [Education](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/education/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Friendship Married](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship-married-482583/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Marriage Occasion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage-occasion-482585/) [Married Friends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-friends-482584/) [Married Noticed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/married-noticed-482586/) [Sex](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sex/) [Vice versa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/vice-versa/)

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