--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: How can we get what we really want and at…" description: "\"“How can we get what we really want and at the same time deal with the needs of others in our lives? Perhaps no human dilemma is more pervasive or chal..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f16/william-ury-16849_dilemma_how-can-we-get-what-we-really-want-and-a_62060.jpg" --- # How can we get what we really want and at the same time… ![“How can we get what we really want and at the same time deal with the needs of others in our lives? Perhaps no human dilemma is more pervasive or challenging.” quote by William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f16/william-ury-16849_dilemma_how-can-we-get-what-we-really-want-and-a_62060.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f16/william-ury-16849_dilemma_how-can-we-get-what-we-really-want-and-a_62060.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f16/william-ury-16849_dilemma_how-can-we-get-what-we-really-want-and-a_62060.jpg) > ““How can we get what we really want and at the same time deal with the needs of others in our lives? Perhaps no human dilemma is more pervasive or challenging.”” [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Balancing personal aspirations with the responsibilities toward others is a core human conflict, requiring negotiation and empathy to resolve. **In simple terms:** Reconciling self‑interest and others’ needs. Key Takeaway Effective negotiation harmonizes personal and collective goals. Themes conflict resolution empathy interpersonal dynamics personal growth ethical decision‑making Mood thoughtful determined Type philosophical motivational When to use this quote - family decision‑making - workplace project planning - community resource allocation Key Concepts win‑win negotiation active listening boundary setting Practical Applications - mediation training - leadership coaching Questions to Reflect On - How can you identify when your goals conflict with others’ needs? - What strategies help transform tension into collaboration? ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Dilemma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dilemma/) [Negotiation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/negotiation/) ## Related quotes > [There are two parts to the human dilemma. One is the belief that the end justifies the means. 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Sproul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-c-sproul/) > [The human dilemma is that which arises out of a man's capacity to experience himself as both subject and object at the same time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rollo-may/the-human-dilemma-is-that-which-arises-out-of-a-man-s-capacity-to/) [Rollo May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rollo-may/) > [My suspicion is that this is an unavoidable human dilemma, that people will always want to avoid pain, to avoid those who are in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-moody/my-suspicion-is-that-this-is-an-unavoidable-human-dilemma-that-people/) [Rick Moody](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-moody/) > [“Her dilemma—the eternal human dilemma—is that she wants a chance to revisit her choices with full knowledge of the future.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-lippman/her-dilemma-the-eternal-human-dilemma-is-that-she-wants-a-chance-to/) [Laura Lippman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-lippman/) > [There is the tendency to place ourselves and our ambitions at the center of our lives. This is very human, but it is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/there-is-the-tendency-to-place-ourselves-and-our-ambitions-at-the/) [Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/) > [“Life's only law is change. Everything is continuously changing, evolving and developing. Hindus say that it takes 840 million lives to become a human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/swami-dhyan-giten/life-s-only-law-is-change-everything-is-continuously-changing/) [Swami Dhyan Giten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/swami-dhyan-giten/) > [The human dilemma is not whether to do right or wrong, but rather to do right when it matters the most, and wrong when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-human-dilemma-is-not-whether-to-do-right-or-wrong-but-rather-to/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Human lives are human lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-visage/human-lives-are-human-lives/) [Michelle Visage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-visage/) > [“Rise to become human again, my friend. Become the human, that talks human, acts human and lives human.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/rise-to-become-human-again-my-friend-become-the-human-that-talks/) [Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/) > [Human beings are always going to find interesting ways of making a mess of their lives. It's human nature.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-nicholson/human-beings-are-always-going-to-find-interesting-ways-of-making-a/) [Jack Nicholson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-nicholson/) > [India of the ages is not dead nor has she spoken her last creative word; she lives and has still something to do for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sri-aurobindo/india-of-the-ages-is-not-dead-nor-has-she-spoken-her-last-creative/) [Sri Aurobindo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sri-aurobindo/) > [We can live tough lives, but the human spirit is stronger, seemingly, than anything. There is redemption, hope, and love. All different forms of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hugh-jackman/we-can-live-tough-lives-but-the-human-spirit-is-stronger-seemingly/) [Hugh Jackman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hugh-jackman/) > [“What is our human dilemma? That the nature of life is problematic. Problems are not an exception; they are the norm. The world offers…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karuna-cayton/what-is-our-human-dilemma-that-the-nature-of-life-is-problematic/) Karuna Cayton ## More by William Ury > [“Yet, as beneficial as it can be, giving respect is often a difficult concession for people to make. In a problematic situation or relationship,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/yet-as-beneficial-as-it-can-be-giving-respect-is-often-a-difficult/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“My friend Donna even likes to give humorous names to her reactive emotions such as “Freddy Fear,” “Judge Judy,” and “Anger Annie.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/my-friend-donna-even-likes-to-give-humorous-names-to-her-reactive/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“We can make a strong unconditional commitment to ourselves to take care of our deepest needs, no matter what other people do or don’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/we-can-make-a-strong-unconditional-commitment-to-ourselves-to-take/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“have found that this journey from no to yes with myself is not a single trip, but ultimately a lifelong journey. I have been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/have-found-that-this-journey-from-no-to-yes-with-myself-is-not-a/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“She began the conversation with Tom by acknowledging his work and then focused on the problem at hand, sticking strictly to the facts:”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/she-began-the-conversation-with-tom-by-acknowledging-his-work-and/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“Michel de Montaigne noted four centuries ago: “My life has been full of terrible misfortunes most of which never happened.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/michel-de-montaigne-noted-four-centuries-ago-my-life-has-been-full-of/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“The lesson . . . ,” Gilbert says, “is that our longings and our worries are both to some degree overblown because we have within us the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/the-lesson-gilbert-says-is-that-our-longings-and-our-worries-are-both/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“The balcony is a metaphor for a mental and emotional place of perspective, calm, and self-control. If life is a stage and we are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/the-balcony-is-a-metaphor-for-a-mental-and-emotional-place-of/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“George Bernard Shaw once observed: “People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/george-bernard-shaw-once-observed-people-become-attached-to-their/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“He who lives not in time, but in the present, is happy. —LUDWIG VON WITTGENSTEIN”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/he-who-lives-not-in-time-but-in-the-present-is-happy-ludwig-von/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“INTRODUCTION THE FIRST NEGOTIATION Let him who would move the world first move himself. —SOCRATES”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/introduction-the-first-negotiation-let-him-who-would-move-the-world/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“3A trap”: we attack, we accommodate (in other words, give in), or we avoid altogether,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/3a-trap-we-attack-we-accommodate-in-other-words-give-in-or-we-avoid/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“The bedrock desire then, is a universal one: to be loved and happy. This may seem utterly obvious, but uncovering this universal desire can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/the-bedrock-desire-then-is-a-universal-one-to-be-loved-and-happy-this/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“How can we get what we truly want while satisfying the needs and concerns of others in our lives—family members, work colleagues, clients, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/how-can-we-get-what-we-truly-want-while-satisfying-the-needs-and/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) > [“Winston Churchill once quipped, “The pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” He went on to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-ury/winston-churchill-once-quipped-the-pessimist-sees-the-difficulty-in/) [William Ury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) [Explore all 38 William Ury quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-ury/) ## More Dilemma quotes > [“When in dilemma, pause.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sravani-saha-nakhro/when-in-dilemma-pause/) [Sravani Saha Nakhro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sravani-saha-nakhro/) > [Anyone who will look at my life from the outside won't see the struggles inside. Sometimes, things are not always as we see or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chanda-kaushik/anyone-who-will-look-at-my-life-from-the-outside-won-t-see-the/) [Chanda Kaushik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chanda-kaushik/) > [The person who is ignorant enough to believe that his nourishment depends on meat is in a horrible dilemma.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-bernard-shaw/the-person-who-is-ignorant-enough-to-believe-that-his-nourishment/) [George Bernard Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-bernard-shaw/) > [I understand why creative people like dark, but American audiences dont like dark. They like story. They do not respond to nervous breakdowns and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leslie-moonves/i-understand-why-creative-people-like-dark-but-american-audiences/) [Leslie Moonves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leslie-moonves/) > [Pure, hard-core liberals believe in a superior race. They think they're it. They believe they're more intelligent than the general run of mankind, better…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/pure-hard-core-liberals-believe-in-a-superior-race-they-think-they-re/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [On earth where love lives, Also the place where dilemma exists.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/buddhachild/on-earth-where-love-lives-also-the-place-where-dilemma-exists/) [BuddhaChild](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/buddhachild/) > [“Such elusive puzzles recall the historian's basic dilemma: the absence of evidence does not always signify evidence of absence. In the end, we will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-markel/such-elusive-puzzles-recall-the-historian-s-basic-dilemma-the-absence/) Howard Markel > [This is our problem, our dilemma, yes? We cannot celebrate and declare ourselves to belong to the victorious nations because our brothers and our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/manfred-rommel/this-is-our-problem-our-dilemma-yes-we-cannot-celebrate-and-declare/) [Manfred Rommel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/manfred-rommel/) > [“It was the dilemma all three of us had. Every choice we made cut us off permanently from someone we loved.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hyeonseo-lee/it-was-the-dilemma-all-three-of-us-had-every-choice-we-made-cut-us/) [Hyeonseo Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hyeonseo-lee/) > [As the Hindu gods are 'immortal' only in a very particular sense - for they had born and they die - they experience most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/as-the-hindu-gods-are-immortal-only-in-a-very-particular-sense-for-2/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Science is important, but so is ethics, so is balancing life. To destroy life to save life - it's one of the real ethical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-w-bush/science-is-important-but-so-is-ethics-so-is-balancing-life-to-destroy/) [George W. Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-w-bush/) > [The great thing about the dilemma we're in is that we get to re-imagine every single thing we do...There isn't a single thing that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-hawken/the-great-thing-about-the-dilemma-we-re-in-is-that-we-get-to-re/) [Paul Hawken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-hawken/) > [Our only goal is to strengthen the opposition and to avoid the dilemma whereby we only have the choice between Bashar Assad and al-Qaeda.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francois-hollande/our-only-goal-is-to-strengthen-the-opposition-and-to-avoid-the/) [Francois Hollande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francois-hollande/) > [Developed and benefited from the unsustainable patterns of production and consumption which have produced our present dilemma. It is clear that current lifestyles and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maurice-strong/developed-and-benefited-from-the-unsustainable-patterns-of-production/) [Maurice Strong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maurice-strong/) > [“The overriding aim of this book is to seek viable responses to the biggest dilemma of our times: reconciling our aspirations for the good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-jackson/the-overriding-aim-of-this-book-is-to-seek-viable-responses-to-the/) [Tim Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-jackson/) [Browse all 417 Dilemma quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dilemma/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“How can we get what we really want and at the same time deal with the needs of others in our lives? 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