---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Fear destroys intimacy. It distances us…"
description: "\"Fear destroys intimacy. It distances us from each other; or makes us cling to each other, which is the death of freedom… Only love can create intimacy,..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecf/william-sloane-coffin-4839_age_fear-destroys-intimacy-it-distances-us-f_1375867.png"
---

#  Fear destroys intimacy. It distances us from each other…

![“Fear destroys intimacy. It distances us from each other; or makes us cling to each other, which is the death of freedom… Only love can create intimacy, and freedom too, for when all hearts are one, nothing else has to be one--neither clothes nor age; neither sex nor sexual preference; race nor…” quote by William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecf/william-sloane-coffin-4839_age_fear-destroys-intimacy-it-distances-us-f_1375867.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecf/william-sloane-coffin-4839_age_fear-destroys-intimacy-it-distances-us-f_1375867.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecf/william-sloane-coffin-4839_age_fear-destroys-intimacy-it-distances-us-f_1375867.png)

> “Fear destroys intimacy. It distances us from each other; or makes us cling to each other, which is the death of freedom… Only love can create intimacy, and freedom too, for when all hearts are one, nothing else has to be one--neither clothes nor age; neither sex nor sexual preference; race nor mind-set.”

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Fear creates emotional distance or unhealthy dependence, preventing true intimacy and freedom; love alone can unite hearts without imposing identities.

**In simple terms:** Fear blocks genuine connection; love unites without labels.

Key Takeaway

Cultivate love, release fear.

Themes

intimacy freedom love identity fear

Mood

reflective hopeful

Type

philosophical inspirational

When to use this quote

- marriage counseling
- team building
- conflict resolution
- personal growth

Key Concepts

psychology human connection spirituality

Questions to Reflect On

- How does fear shape your relationships?
- What does love mean beyond labels?

A Different Perspective

Fear may also protect against vulnerability, making openness risky.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Age](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/age/) [Clothes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/clothes/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Freedom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/freedom/) [Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heart/) [Intimacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/intimacy/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Mind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mind/) [Mind set](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mind-set/) [Preference](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/preference/) [Race](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/race/) [Romance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/romance/) [Sex](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sex/)

## Related quotes

> [A studio, like a poem, is an intimacy and a freedom you can look out from, into each part of your life and a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-hirshfield/a-studio-like-a-poem-is-an-intimacy-and-a-freedom-you-can-look-out/)

[Jane Hirshfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-hirshfield/)

> [Perhaps we had at last reached that stage of intimacy that destroys intimacy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/perhaps-we-had-at-last-reached-that-stage-of-intimacy-that-destroys/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

> [“Over time, any deception destroys intimacy, and without intimacy couples cannot have true and lasting love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bonnie-eaker-weil/over-time-any-deception-destroys-intimacy-and-without-intimacy/)

Bonnie Eaker Weil

> [I've managed to create intimacy with people I know, and people that I don't know. The longer things stay inside of us, the more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-newman/i-ve-managed-to-create-intimacy-with-people-i-know-and-people-that-i/)

[Leigh Newman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-newman/)

> [Joint consumption doesn’t create intimacy,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-eisenstein/joint-consumption-doesn-t-create-intimacy/)

[Charles Eisenstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-eisenstein/)

> [I learned what I really love is making films, not the film business. I want to be on the set, meeting with writers, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harvey-weinstein/i-learned-what-i-really-love-is-making-films-not-the-film-business-i/)

[Harvey Weinstein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harvey-weinstein/)

> [Empty your birdcage, empty your aquarium! To love is to give freedom; to love is to refuse the prisons!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/empty-your-birdcage-empty-your-aquarium-to-love-is-to-give-freedom-to/)

[Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/)

> [“It means that you are my freedom, love." "Yes," she whispered. That was it exactly. "And you are mine.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meredith-duran/it-means-that-you-are-my-freedom-love-yes-she-whispered-that-was-it/)

[Meredith Duran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meredith-duran/)

> [Those who are not capable of sinning are said that they have attained freedom. The knowledge of the Truth raises them even more. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vladimir-aleksandrovich-antonov/those-who-are-not-capable-of-sinning-are-said-that-they-have-attained/)

[Vladimir Aleksandrovich Antonov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vladimir-aleksandrovich-antonov/)

> [Universal Love can take on many forms. It can be considered acceptance of yourself, or of others. Love is unconditional and it doesn't set…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/koena-mitra/universal-love-can-take-on-many-forms-it-can-be-considered-acceptance/)

[Koena Mitra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/koena-mitra/)

> [Love indeed is a cage. But then it has everything you need inside the cage so don't be scare of losing your freedom for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mark/love-indeed-is-a-cage-but-then-it-has-everything-you-need-inside-the/)

[Terry Mark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mark/)

> [We wanted the freedom to love. We wanted the freedom to choose. Now we have to fight for it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-oliver/we-wanted-the-freedom-to-love-we-wanted-the-freedom-to-choose-now-we/)

[Lauren Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-oliver/)

> [Most importantly, nothing has happened to change my conviction that freedom and the love of liberty remain the essential defining attributes of our national…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ibrahim-babangida/most-importantly-nothing-has-happened-to-change-my-conviction-that/)

[Ibrahim Babangida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ibrahim-babangida/)

> [Love is blind Love is deaf Love is colorless Love feels Love is freedom Love is strength Love is courage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laine/love-is-blind-love-is-deaf-love-is-colorless-love-feels-love-is/)

[Laine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laine/)

> [“Be not dishearten’d—Affection shall solve the problems of Freedom yet; Those who love each other shall become invincible. —WALT WHITMAN, “Over the Carnage Rose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-goolrick/be-not-dishearten-d-affection-shall-solve-the-problems-of-freedom-yet/)

[Robert Goolrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-goolrick/)

## More by William Sloane Coffin

> [“Joy is the most important Christian emotion. Duty calls only when gratitude fails to prompt.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/joy-is-the-most-important-christian-emotion-duty-calls-only-when/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [Every nation makes decisions based on self-interest and defends them on the basis of morality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/every-nation-makes-decisions-based-on-self-interest-and-defends-them/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [It is one thing to say with the prophet Amos, "Let justice roll down like mighty waters," and quite another to work out the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/it-is-one-thing-to-say-with-the-prophet-amos-let-justice-roll-down/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [“A friend...risks her friendship for the sake of her friend.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/a-friend-risks-her-friendship-for-the-sake-of-her-friend/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [“We are not slaves but children of our Father, free to do good, free to sin. So when in anguish over any human violence…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/we-are-not-slaves-but-children-of-our-father-free-to-do-good-free-to/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [In our time all it takes for evil to flourish is for a few good men to be a little wrong and have a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/in-our-time-all-it-takes-for-evil-to-flourish-is-for-a-few-good-men/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [We have sold our birthright of freedom and justice for a mess of national security.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/we-have-sold-our-birthright-of-freedom-and-justice-for-a-mess-of/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [“And if we exalt freedom as Christians, we must remember that freedom is grounded in love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/and-if-we-exalt-freedom-as-christians-we-must-remember-that-freedom/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [“It is terribly important to realize that the leap of faith is not so much a leap of thought as of action. For while…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/it-is-terribly-important-to-realize-that-the-leap-of-faith-is-not-so/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [We must be governed by the force of law, not by the law of force.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/we-must-be-governed-by-the-force-of-law-not-by-the-law-of-force/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [Only reverence can restrain violence - reverence for human life and the environment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/only-reverence-can-restrain-violence-reverence-for-human-life-and-the/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [“But what I am beginning to suspect is that most guilty people reject the possibility of forgiveness not because it is too good to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/but-what-i-am-beginning-to-suspect-is-that-most-guilty-people-reject/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [Of God's love we can say two things: it is poured out universally for everyone from the Pope to the loneliest wino on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/of-god-s-love-we-can-say-two-things-it-is-poured-out-universally-for/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [“And if God is a suffering God, if this whole universe is borne on a heart infinite in compassion, then the more we suffer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/and-if-god-is-a-suffering-god-if-this-whole-universe-is-borne-on-a/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

> [“...love does have a reward. Just as the proper benefits of education are the opportunities of continuing education, so the rewards of loving are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/love-does-have-a-reward-just-as-the-proper-benefits-of-education-are/)

[William Sloane Coffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

[Explore all 106 William Sloane Coffin quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/)

## More Age quotes

> [I need a bath." He chuckled. "You smell of smoke, as do I." The duke turned, leaning heavily on his cane. "Jameson, open the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-hawkins/i-need-a-bath-he-chuckled-you-smell-of-smoke-as-do-i-the-duke-turned/)

[Karen Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-hawkins/)

> [While we've youth in our hearts, we can never grow old.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-wendell-holmes-jr/while-we-ve-youth-in-our-hearts-we-can-never-grow-old/)

[Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-wendell-holmes-jr/)

> [It's easier to change a law than an age-old mentality. Deep down, many prejudices, many hostilities, many fears persist. But if we take a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dacia-maraini/it-s-easier-to-change-a-law-than-an-age-old-mentality-deep-down-many/)

[Dacia Maraini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dacia-maraini/)

> [When I first started writing, when I was 15, I would go to work with people and they would tell me my lyrics were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sabrina-claudio/when-i-first-started-writing-when-i-was-15-i-would-go-to-work-with/)

[Sabrina Claudio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sabrina-claudio/)

> [Real people speak in my books about the main events of the age, such as the war, the Chernobyl disaster, and the downfall of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/svetlana-alexievich/real-people-speak-in-my-books-about-the-main-events-of-the-age-such/)

[Svetlana Alexievich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/svetlana-alexievich/)

> [As a child I was very involved with sports and I knew at age 9 that I wanted to be an Olympic champion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marion-jones/as-a-child-i-was-very-involved-with-sports-and-i-knew-at-age-9-that-i/)

[Marion Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marion-jones/)

> [If there is any period one would desire to be born in, is it not the age of Revolution; when the old and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/if-there-is-any-period-one-would-desire-to-be-born-in-is-it-not-the/)

[Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/)

> [By making conscious choices in our behavior and where we focus our attention, we can transform our experience of our body, decrease our biological…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/by-making-conscious-choices-in-our-behavior-and-where-we-focus-our/)

[Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/)

> [I am just enjoying the dream of being Milan coach at the age of 40.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gennaro-gattuso/i-am-just-enjoying-the-dream-of-being-milan-coach-at-the-age-of-40/)

[Gennaro Gattuso](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gennaro-gattuso/)

> [Age is an accumulation of life and loss. Adulthood is a series of lines crossed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/age-is-an-accumulation-of-life-and-loss-adulthood-is-a-series-of/)

[Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/)

> [I calculated that if I live up to the age of 80, then I end up using 450 toothbrushes in my life. All that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dia-mirza/i-calculated-that-if-i-live-up-to-the-age-of-80-then-i-end-up-using/)

[Dia Mirza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dia-mirza/)

> [Why is wisdom so fair? Why is beauty so wise? Because all else is temporary, while beauty and wisdom are the only real and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vera-nazarian/why-is-wisdom-so-fair-why-is-beauty-so-wise-because-all-else-is/)

[Vera Nazarian](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vera-nazarian/)

> [It was only when I went to acting school that I was like, "You are absolutely such a pigheaded freak show that you thought…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/giles-matthey/it-was-only-when-i-went-to-acting-school-that-i-was-like-you-are/)

[Giles Matthey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/giles-matthey/)

> [That old man dies prematurely whose memory records no benefits conferred. They only have lived long who have lived virtuously.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-brinsley-sheridan/that-old-man-dies-prematurely-whose-memory-records-no-benefits/)

[Richard Brinsley Sheridan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-brinsley-sheridan/)

> [We have started to make music at age seven. That was a hard work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-kaulitz/we-have-started-to-make-music-at-age-seven-that-was-a-hard-work/)

[Bill Kaulitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-kaulitz/)

[Browse all 18,948 Age quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/age/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "Fear destroys intimacy. It distances us from each other; or makes us cling to each other, which is the death of freedom… Only love can create intimacy, and freedom too, for when all hearts are one, nothing else has to be one--neither clothes nor age; neither sex nor sexual preference; race nor mind-set.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "William Sloane Coffin"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/fear-destroys-intimacy-it-distances-us-from-each-other-or-makes-us/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Age"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/fear-destroys-intimacy-it-distances-us-from-each-other-or-makes-us/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecf/william-sloane-coffin-4839_age_fear-destroys-intimacy-it-distances-us-f_1375867.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecf/william-sloane-coffin-4839_age_fear-destroys-intimacy-it-distances-us-f_1375867.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecf/william-sloane-coffin-4839_age_fear-destroys-intimacy-it-distances-us-f_1375867.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Fear destroys intimacy. It distances us from each other; or makes us cling to each other, which is the death…” — William Sloane Coffin",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "William Sloane Coffin",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-sloane-coffin/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Fear destroys intimacy. It distances us...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/fear-destroys-intimacy-it-distances-us-from-each-other-or-makes-us/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-sloane-coffin/fear-destroys-intimacy-it-distances-us-from-each-other-or-makes-us/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
