---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: We never love anyone. Not really. We only…"
description: "\"We never love anyone. Not really. We only love our idea of another person. It is some conception of our own that we love. We love ourselves, in fact.\" ..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/379/william-boyd-3581_facts_we-never-love-anyone-not-really-we-only_488911.png"
---

#  We never love anyone. Not really. We only love our idea of…

![“We never love anyone. Not really. We only love our idea of another person. It is some conception of our own that we love. We love ourselves, in fact.” quote by William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/379/william-boyd-3581_facts_we-never-love-anyone-not-really-we-only_488911.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/379/william-boyd-3581_facts_we-never-love-anyone-not-really-we-only_488911.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/379/william-boyd-3581_facts_we-never-love-anyone-not-really-we-only_488911.png)

> “We never love anyone. Not really. We only love our idea of another person. It is some conception of our own that we love. We love ourselves, in fact.”

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

We project our own self‑image onto others, so love is really self‑affection.

**In simple terms:** We love ourselves through the people we imagine.

Key Takeaway

Recognize self‑projection in relationships.

Themes

identity love self‑perception

Mood

reflective introspective

Type

philosophical psychological

When to use this quote

- dating
- friendship
- therapy
- self‑reflection

Key Concepts

psychology philosophy ego

Questions to Reflect On

- How much of your love is about yourself?
- Do you see others as mirrors?

A Different Perspective

It can ignore genuine connection with others.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Facts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/facts/) [Ideas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ideas/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love Fact](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-fact/) [Love Idea](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-idea/) [Love love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-love/) [Love Really](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-really/) [Persons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/persons/)

## Related quotes

> [If I love you, is that a fact or a weapon?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/if-i-love-you-is-that-a-fact-or-a-weapon/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [I love everything about you, except the fact that you're not with me. Miss you, babe!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-love-everything-about-you-except-the-fact-that-you-re-not-with-me/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I Love You = Fact, you Love Me = Fake, you Love Him = Fuck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-love-you-fact-you-love-me-fake-you-love-him-fuck/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I love the fact that I have a show where you can run over a kid and everyone busts out laughing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-chappelle/i-love-the-fact-that-i-have-a-show-where-you-can-run-over-a-kid-and/)

[Dave Chappelle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-chappelle/)

> [“The paradox is that by being ‘in love’ we are in fact falling in love with ourselves, and we have an opportunity to see…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-bartlett/the-paradox-is-that-by-being-in-love-we-are-in-fact-falling-in-love/)

[Sarah Bartlett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-bartlett/)

> [But hey, I'm not exactly sold on the idea that love is, in fact, real. Will it find me one day, overtake me, infiltrate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-hopkins/but-hey-i-m-not-exactly-sold-on-the-idea-that-love-is-in-fact-real/)

[Ellen Hopkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-hopkins/)

> [You're the one I can't live without This fact is true, I have no doubt I love the way you smile at me I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fad-ibra/you-re-the-one-i-can-t-live-without-this-fact-is-true-i-have-no-doubt/)

[Fad Ibra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fad-ibra/)

> [I love everything about you besides the fact the you don't love me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-love-everything-about-you-besides-the-fact-the-you-don-t-love-me/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I love the fact that my hair has a life of its own.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mithila-palkar/i-love-the-fact-that-my-hair-has-a-life-of-its-own/)

[Mithila Palkar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mithila-palkar/)

> [The energy that many people call love, is, in fact, the raw material from which the universe was built.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/the-energy-that-many-people-call-love-is-in-fact-the-raw-material/)

[Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/)

> [“When you really love someone, you see all their mess and their brokenness and you love them anyway. In fact, seeing all of that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-hepler-love-maybe/when-you-really-love-someone-you-see-all-their-mess-and-their/)

[Heather Hepler Love Maybe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heather-hepler-love-maybe/)

> [“There is always a logic behind Love, but the fact is we do not want to explore it rather most of people think it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jawad-gul/there-is-always-a-logic-behind-love-but-the-fact-is-we-do-not-want-to/)

[Jawad Gul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jawad-gul/)

> [I love the fact that I can mess with someone's head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antonio-esfandiari/i-love-the-fact-that-i-can-mess-with-someone-s-head/)

[Antonio Esfandiari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antonio-esfandiari/)

> [“all men and all women are connected by an energy which many people call love, but which is, in fact, the raw material from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paulo-coelho/all-men-and-all-women-are-connected-by-an-energy-which-many-people/)

[Paulo Coelho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paulo-coelho/)

> [I love the fact that I can live a spontaneous lifestyle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alesha-dixon/i-love-the-fact-that-i-can-live-a-spontaneous-lifestyle/)

[Alesha Dixon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alesha-dixon/)

## More by William Boyd

> [Sometimes limbo is a tolerable place to be stuck.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/sometimes-limbo-is-a-tolerable-place-to-be-stuck/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [“Here at its extremities the terrified transients gathered, gazing out at the vast refulgent ocean for some sign of security.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/here-at-its-extremities-the-terrified-transients-gathered-gazing-out/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [“We all possess, like it or not, the people we know, and are possessed by them in turn.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/we-all-possess-like-it-or-not-the-people-we-know-and-are-possessed-by/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [“Old Testament prophets. ‘You savvy dis fetish thing?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/old-testament-prophets-you-savvy-dis-fetish-thing/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [Human beings are interested in the human condition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/human-beings-are-interested-in-the-human-condition/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [“A warm sunny evening, the plash and gurgle of the waves in the rock pools, the rush of the cold gin. I thought for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/a-warm-sunny-evening-the-plash-and-gurgle-of-the-waves-in-the-rock/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [I have this lock of hair that keeps falling across my forehead. It drives me mad.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/i-have-this-lock-of-hair-that-keeps-falling-across-my-forehead-it/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [With film, you have very limited tools to convey subjectivity - voiceover, the camera's point of view, good acting - but even the very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/with-film-you-have-very-limited-tools-to-convey-subjectivity/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [“any man over forty who deliberately combs his hair forward in a child’s fringe has something suspect about him,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/any-man-over-forty-who-deliberately-combs-his-hair-forward-in-a-child/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [There are things in life we don't understand, and when we meet them, all we can do is let them alone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/there-are-things-in-life-we-don-t-understand-and-when-we-meet-them/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [“All great artists are doubters.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/all-great-artists-are-doubters/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [“Feelings of depression; feelings of frustration; feelings of emptiness in the face of all this randomness - done down by the haphazard, yet again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/feelings-of-depression-feelings-of-frustration-feelings-of-emptiness/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [“I am a total stranger, you see. Total.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/i-am-a-total-stranger-you-see-total/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [There is a disconnect between the film Bond and the literary Bond which is their contemporaneity. I don't suffer from that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/there-is-a-disconnect-between-the-film-bond-and-the-literary-bond/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

> [“So much for my great vendetta, so much for the tireless hunt for my betrayer. Isn't this how life turns out, more often than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/so-much-for-my-great-vendetta-so-much-for-the-tireless-hunt-for-my/)

[William Boyd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

[Explore all 125 William Boyd quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/)

## More Facts quotes

> [It is indeed a surprising and fortunate fact that nature can be expressed by relatively low-order mathematical functions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rudolf-carnap/it-is-indeed-a-surprising-and-fortunate-fact-that-nature-can-be/)

[Rudolf Carnap](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rudolf-carnap/)

> [So the fool, as distinct from the scoundrel, is completely self- satisfied; in fact, he can easily become dangerous, as it does not take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dietrich-bonhoeffer/so-the-fool-as-distinct-from-the-scoundrel-is-completely-self/)

[Dietrich Bonhoeffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dietrich-bonhoeffer/)

> [He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/he-bombarded-me-with-words-of-all-things-apparently-clueless-to-the/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

> [Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/scrabble-the-game-is-available-in-braille-that-s-a-nice-fact-this/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I'm Fine!, the most common LIE in the world...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/punkinhead-abhishek/i-m-fine-the-most-common-lie-in-the-world/)

[Punkinhead Abhishek](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/punkinhead-abhishek/)

> [The time that one gains cannot be accumulated in a storehouse; it is contradictory to want to save up existence, which, the fact is,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simone-de-beauvoir/the-time-that-one-gains-cannot-be-accumulated-in-a-storehouse-it-is/)

[Simone de Beauvoir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simone-de-beauvoir/)

> [What is history after all? History is facts which become lies in the end.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-cocteau/what-is-history-after-all-history-is-facts-which-become-lies-in-the/)

[Jean Cocteau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-cocteau/)

> [Don't take too much comfort in the fact that you're successful today because tomorrow could bring failure. There's no surety in life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-savage/don-t-take-too-much-comfort-in-the-fact-that-you-re-successful-today/)

[Michael Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-savage/)

> [I am told many children block out the memory of trauma. In fact, the healing process can only truly begin when we are willing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phoebe-stone/i-am-told-many-children-block-out-the-memory-of-trauma-in-fact-the/)

[Phoebe Stone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phoebe-stone/)

> [Because the truth is that gossip is as good as gospel in this town. You can save face but you won't ever save your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conor-oberst/because-the-truth-is-that-gossip-is-as-good-as-gospel-in-this-town/)

[Conor Oberst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conor-oberst/)

> [Truth be told from compulsive liars with a history/Everything must change 2nd chances are a mystery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-dash/truth-be-told-from-compulsive-liars-with-a-history-everything-must/)

[C-DASH](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-dash/)

> [We did an episode where she goes out to get a job and she gets fired because she's not good. They hire a babysitter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-heaton/we-did-an-episode-where-she-goes-out-to-get-a-job-and-she-gets-fired/)

[Patricia Heaton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-heaton/)

> [Le biologiste passe, la grenouille reste. The biologist passes, the frog remains.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-rostand/le-biologiste-passe-la-grenouille-reste-the-biologist-passes-the-frog/)

[Jean Rostand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-rostand/)

> [I guess he'll have to figure out someday that he is supposed to have this dark side, that it is part of what it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/i-guess-he-ll-have-to-figure-out-someday-that-he-is-supposed-to-have/)

[Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/)

> [The fact -- not theory -- that evolution has occurred and the Darwinian theory as to how it occurred have become so confused in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-gaylord-simpson/the-fact-not-theory-that-evolution-has-occurred-and-the-darwinian/)

[George Gaylord Simpson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-gaylord-simpson/)

[Browse all 19,906 Facts quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/facts/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "We never love anyone. Not really. We only love our idea of another person. It is some conception of our own that we love. We love ourselves, in fact.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "William Boyd"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/we-never-love-anyone-not-really-we-only-love-our-idea-of-another/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Facts"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/we-never-love-anyone-not-really-we-only-love-our-idea-of-another/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/379/william-boyd-3581_facts_we-never-love-anyone-not-really-we-only_488911.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/379/william-boyd-3581_facts_we-never-love-anyone-not-really-we-only_488911.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/379/william-boyd-3581_facts_we-never-love-anyone-not-really-we-only_488911.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“We never love anyone. Not really. We only love our idea of another person. It is some conception of our own…” — William Boyd",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "William Boyd",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-boyd/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "We never love anyone. Not really....",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/we-never-love-anyone-not-really-we-only-love-our-idea-of-another/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-boyd/we-never-love-anyone-not-really-we-only-love-our-idea-of-another/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
