--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Your primary desire, says Epictetus…" description: "\"“Your primary desire, says Epictetus, should be your desire not to be frustrated by forming desires you won’t be able to fulfill.”\" — William B. Irvine" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b4/william-b-irvine-29486_desire_your-primary-desire-says-epictetus-shoul_502275.jpg" --- # Your primary desire, says Epictetus, should be your desire… ![“Your primary desire, says Epictetus, should be your desire not to be frustrated by forming desires you won’t be able to fulfill.” quote by William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b4/william-b-irvine-29486_desire_your-primary-desire-says-epictetus-shoul_502275.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b4/william-b-irvine-29486_desire_your-primary-desire-says-epictetus-shoul_502275.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b4/william-b-irvine-29486_desire_your-primary-desire-says-epictetus-shoul_502275.jpg) > ““Your primary desire, says Epictetus, should be your desire not to be frustrated by forming desires you won’t be able to fulfill.”” [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. We should aim to avoid creating unattainable desires that cause frustration. **In simple terms:** Avoid wanting what you can’t get. Key Takeaway Focus on realistic goals. Themes self‑control desire management philosophy Mood reflective calm Type philosophical practical When to use this quote - personal planning - goal setting - stress reduction Key Concepts Stoicism psychology Questions to Reflect On - What desires cause you frustration? - How can you temper expectations? A Different Perspective Unrealistic desires can still arise despite effort. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) [Desires](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desires/) [Epictetus Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/epictetus-desire-4275321/) [Forming Desires](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forming-desires-4275324/) [Primary Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/primary-desire-4275323/) [Says Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/says-epictetus-4275322/) ## Related quotes > [Needs cause motivation. Deep-rooted desires for esteem, affection, belonging, achievement, self-actualization, power, and control motivate us to push for what we want and need…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorii-myers/needs-cause-motivation-deep-rooted-desires-for-esteem-affection/) [Lorii Myers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorii-myers/) > [The more desires you have, the more misery you will create for yourself. Misery is a consequence of desiring - and you go on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-more-desires-you-have-the-more-misery-you-will-create-for/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [So endless and exorbitant are the desires of men that they will grasp at all, and can form no scheme of perfect happiness with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-swift/so-endless-and-exorbitant-are-the-desires-of-men-that-they-will-grasp/) [Jonathan Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-swift/) > [I don't have the desires of a spoiled child. I never did.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/princess-stephanie-of-monaco/i-don-t-have-the-desires-of-a-spoiled-child-i-never-did/) [Princess Stephanie of Monaco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/princess-stephanie-of-monaco/) > [The problem for us is not are our desires satisfied or not. The problem is how do we know what we desire.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/slavoj-i-ek/the-problem-for-us-is-not-are-our-desires-satisfied-or-not-the/) [Slavoj Žižek](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/slavoj-i-ek/) > [“People make themselves unhappy by desiring and praising only one thing, by becoming too one-sided in trying to find contentment. If we were just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adalbert-stifter/people-make-themselves-unhappy-by-desiring-and-praising-only-one/) [Adalbert Stifter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adalbert-stifter/) > [Christ desires nothing more of us than that we speak of him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther/christ-desires-nothing-more-of-us-than-that-we-speak-of-him/) [Martin Luther](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther/) > [It is a happy circumstance that when nature gives us true burning desires, she also gives us the means to satisfy them. Those who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ed-seykota/it-is-a-happy-circumstance-that-when-nature-gives-us-true-burning/) [Ed Seykota](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ed-seykota/) > [“The desires of the flesh leads to sin.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lailah-gifty-akita/the-desires-of-the-flesh-leads-to-sin/) [Lailah Gifty Akita](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lailah-gifty-akita/) > [The best kind of wealth is to give up inordinate desires.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rabindranath-tagore/the-best-kind-of-wealth-is-to-give-up-inordinate-desires/) [Rabindranath Tagore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rabindranath-tagore/) > [My intentions go one way, my desires another. Thus I feel both self-indulgent and deprived.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/my-intentions-go-one-way-my-desires-another-thus-i-feel-both-self/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [“Desires and wishes don’t lead to success. Plans and efforts do. Create a vision, chalk out an action plan, put in your best efforts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roopleen/desires-and-wishes-don-t-lead-to-success-plans-and-efforts-do-create/) [Roopleen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roopleen/) > [Our desires have a way of getting bigger with our incomes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ivy-compton-burnett/our-desires-have-a-way-of-getting-bigger-with-our-incomes/) [Ivy Compton-Burnett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ivy-compton-burnett/) > [“The best way to achieve a wonderful life is to have wonderful desires.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-redhead/the-best-way-to-achieve-a-wonderful-life-is-to-have-wonderful-desires/) [Steven Redhead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-redhead/) > [“We spend a lot of time trying to get more and more things, not realizing that those things can never fulfill us. Learn from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/osayi-osar-emokpae/we-spend-a-lot-of-time-trying-to-get-more-and-more-things-not/) [Osayi Osar-Emokpae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/osayi-osar-emokpae/) ## More by William B. Irvine > [“Pre-Socratic philosophy begins ... with the discovery of Nature; Socratic philosophy begins with the discovery of man's soul."3”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/pre-socratic-philosophy-begins-with-the-discovery-of-nature-socratic/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“According to Seneca, “A man is as wretched as he has convinced himself that he is.” He therefore recommends that we “do away with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/according-to-seneca-a-man-is-as-wretched-as-he-has-convinced-himself/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“For the Stoics, however, the near impossibility of becoming a sage is not a problem. They talk about sages primarily so they will have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/for-the-stoics-however-the-near-impossibility-of-becoming-a-sage-is/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“Indeed, pursuing pleasure, Seneca warns, is like pursuing a wild beast: On being captured, it can turn on us and tear us to pieces.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/indeed-pursuing-pleasure-seneca-warns-is-like-pursuing-a-wild-beast/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“reason tends to be the servant rather than the master of desire.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/reason-tends-to-be-the-servant-rather-than-the-master-of-desire/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“Whenever you undertake an activity in which public failure is a possibility, you are likely to experience butterflies in your stomach. I mentioned above…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/whenever-you-undertake-an-activity-in-which-public-failure-is-a/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“They warn us to be careful in choosing our associates; other people, after all, have the power to shatter our tranquility—if we let them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/they-warn-us-to-be-careful-in-choosing-our-associates-other-people/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“Stoic tranquility was a psychological state marked by the absence of negative emotions, such as grief, anger, and anxiety, and the presence of positive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/stoic-tranquility-was-a-psychological-state-marked-by-the-absence-of/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“WHAT DO YOU WANT out of life?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/what-do-you-want-out-of-life/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“Before Socrates, philosophers were primarily interested in explaining the world around them and the phenomena of that world—in doing what we would now call…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/before-socrates-philosophers-were-primarily-interested-in-explaining/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“the art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.”46”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/the-art-of-living-is-more-like-wrestling-than-dancing-46/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“he is blessed who dies not late but well.”) It”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/he-is-blessed-who-dies-not-late-but-well-it/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“If you refuse to enter contests that you are capable of losing, you will never lose a contest.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/if-you-refuse-to-enter-contests-that-you-are-capable-of-losing-you/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“Throughout the millennia and across cultures, those who have thought carefully about desire have drawn the conclusion that spending our days working to get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/throughout-the-millennia-and-across-cultures-those-who-have-thought/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) > [“My time is coming, I told myself, and I must do what I can to prepare for it. T”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-b-irvine/my-time-is-coming-i-told-myself-and-i-must-do-what-i-can-to-prepare/) [William B. Irvine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) [Explore all 18 William B. Irvine quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-b-irvine/) ## More Desire quotes > [I put myself in the student's place and remember the frustrations, doubts, determination, and desires I felt when I was going through the initial…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-martinez/i-put-myself-in-the-student-s-place-and-remember-the-frustrations/) [Ted Martinez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-martinez/) > [Passion is what you need to be good, an unforgiving passion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-easton/passion-is-what-you-need-to-be-good-an-unforgiving-passion/) [David Easton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-easton/) > [I want the municipality to be a helping hand to the man with a desire of sympathy, to help the fallen when it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-burns/i-want-the-municipality-to-be-a-helping-hand-to-the-man-with-a-desire/) [John Burns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-burns/) > [Ye youths and virgins, when your generous blood Has drunk the warmth of fifteen summers, now The loves invite; now to new rapture wakes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-armstrong/ye-youths-and-virgins-when-your-generous-blood-has-drunk-the-warmth/) [John Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-armstrong/) > [I have observed this in my experience of slavery, - that whenever my condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-douglass/i-have-observed-this-in-my-experience-of-slavery-that-whenever-my/) [Frederick Douglass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-douglass/) > [“THE ESSENCE OF YOUR DESIRE IS A FEELING”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danielle-laporte/the-essence-of-your-desire-is-a-feeling/) [Danielle LaPorte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danielle-laporte/) > [On the brink of being satiated, desire still appears infinite.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-rostand/on-the-brink-of-being-satiated-desire-still-appears-infinite/) [Jean Rostand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-rostand/) > [If there is any period one would desire to be born in, is it not the age of Revolution; when the old and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/if-there-is-any-period-one-would-desire-to-be-born-in-is-it-not-the/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [He caught her, she fell, he caught her in his arms, he held her tightly unconscious of what he was doing. He held her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-hugo/he-caught-her-she-fell-he-caught-her-in-his-arms-he-held-her-tightly/) [Victor Hugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victor-hugo/) > [ Teaching might even be the greatest of the arts since the medium is the human mind and spirit. My three \[great teachers\] did not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-steinbeck/teaching-might-even-be-the-greatest-of-the-arts-since-the-medium-is/) [John Steinbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-steinbeck/) > [“The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-dewey/the-deepest-urge-in-human-nature-is-the-desire-to-be-important/) [John Dewey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-dewey/) > [In discovering books, you became free to explore the full range of human motives, desires, secrets, and lies. All my life, people have scolded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betsy-lerner/in-discovering-books-you-became-free-to-explore-the-full-range-of/) [Betsy Lerner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betsy-lerner/) > [I have never been in, nor have I had any strong particular desire to be in, what is termed a costume drama, but I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-freeman/i-have-never-been-in-nor-have-i-had-any-strong-particular-desire-to/) [Martin Freeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-freeman/) > [Now I am in the place I call this wide wide Heaven because it includes all my simplest desires but also the most humble…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-sebold/now-i-am-in-the-place-i-call-this-wide-wide-heaven-because-it/) [Alice Sebold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-sebold/) > [“from THE DEVIL YOU KNOW : She wanted him too. He could see it in the rapid rise of her breasts. He could smell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emery-lee/from-the-devil-you-know-she-wanted-him-too-he-could-see-it-in-the/) [Emery Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emery-lee/) [Browse all 15,155 Desire quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Your primary desire, says Epictetus, should be your desire not to be frustrated by forming desires you won’t be able to fulfill.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "William B. 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