--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If you start a conversation with the…" description: "\"If you start a conversation with the assumption that you are right or that you must win, obviously it is difficult to talk.\" — Wendell Berry" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8d/wendell-berry-236_assumption_if-you-start-a-conversation-with-the-ass_2087437.jpg" --- # If you start a conversation with the assumption that you… ![“If you start a conversation with the assumption that you are right or that you must win, obviously it is difficult to talk.” quote by Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8d/wendell-berry-236_assumption_if-you-start-a-conversation-with-the-ass_2087437.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8d/wendell-berry-236_assumption_if-you-start-a-conversation-with-the-ass_2087437.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8d/wendell-berry-236_assumption_if-you-start-a-conversation-with-the-ass_2087437.jpg) > “If you start a conversation with the assumption that you are right or that you must win, obviously it is difficult to talk.” [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Assuming you must win creates defensiveness, shutting down genuine dialogue. **In simple terms:** Winning arguments blocks true communication. Key Takeaway Listen before defending your view. Themes communication humility conflict resolution Mood thoughtful calm Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - team meetings - political debates - family discussions - customer service Key Concepts ego assertiveness dialogue techniques Questions to Reflect On - What would happen if you let go of being right? - How can you foster curiosity over competition? A Different Perspective Winning isn’t always the goal; understanding is. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Assumption](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/assumption/) [Communication](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communication/) [Conversation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conversation/) [Resolution](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resolution/) [Win win](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/win-win/) [Winning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/winning/) ## Related quotes > [Obviously it's difficult not to compare one record success-wise, or sales-wise, or whatever, but I think you're always going to have moments - whatever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elly-jackson/obviously-it-s-difficult-not-to-compare-one-record-success-wise-or/) [Elly Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elly-jackson/) > [You try to stay as even-keel as possible; obviously, it's always more difficult when you're going through a tough season.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-howland/you-try-to-stay-as-even-keel-as-possible-obviously-it-s-always-more/) [Ben Howland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-howland/) > [Trying to be a socialist and a libertarian is obviously a very difficult balancing act, which nobody has pulled off too successfully in this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-hare/trying-to-be-a-socialist-and-a-libertarian-is-obviously-a-very/) [David Hare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-hare/) > [Those first few overs are obviously the most difficult time because you don't know what the ball is going to do in the air…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-l-rahul/those-first-few-overs-are-obviously-the-most-difficult-time-because/) [K. 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Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-mccartney/we-can-work-it-out-life-is-very-short-and-there-s-no-time-for-fussing/) [Paul McCartney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-mccartney/) > [Forgiveness does not overlook the deed. It rises above it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pumla-gobodo-madikizela/forgiveness-does-not-overlook-the-deed-it-rises-above-it/) [Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pumla-gobodo-madikizela/) ## More by Wendell Berry > [During the last 17 years... I have been working at the restoration of a once exhausted hillside. Its scars are now healed over, though…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/during-the-last-17-years-i-have-been-working-at-the-restoration-of-a/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [Like the water of a deep stream, love is always too much. We did not make it. Though we drink till we burst, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/like-the-water-of-a-deep-stream-love-is-always-too-much-we-did-not/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [To husband is to use with care, to keep, to save, to make last, to conserve. Old usage tells us that there is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/to-husband-is-to-use-with-care-to-keep-to-save-to-make-last-to/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [“The two families, sundered in the ruin of a friendship, were united again first in new friendship and then in mariage. My grandfather made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/the-two-families-sundered-in-the-ruin-of-a-friendship-were-united/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [The living can't quit living because the world has turned terrible and people they love and need are killed. They can't because they don't.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/the-living-can-t-quit-living-because-the-world-has-turned-terrible/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [“I knew a man who, in the age of chain-saws, went right on cutting his wood with a handsaw and an axe. He was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/i-knew-a-man-who-in-the-age-of-chain-saws-went-right-on-cutting-his/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [“The concept of country, homeland, dwelling place becomes simplified as "the environment" -- that is, what surrounds us, we have already made a profound…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/the-concept-of-country-homeland-dwelling-place-becomes-simplified-as/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [A community is the mental and spiritual condition of knowing that the place is shared, and that the people who share the place define…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/a-community-is-the-mental-and-spiritual-condition-of-knowing-that-the/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [“That we can prescribe the terms of our own success, that we can live outside or in ignorance of the Great Economy are the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/that-we-can-prescribe-the-terms-of-our-own-success-that-we-can-live/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [“The mind that comes to rest is tended In ways that it cannot intend: Is borne, preserved, and comprehended By what it cannot comprehend.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/the-mind-that-comes-to-rest-is-tended-in-ways-that-it-cannot-intend/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [The mercy of the world is time. Time does not stop for love, but it does not stop for death and grief, either.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/the-mercy-of-the-world-is-time-time-does-not-stop-for-love-but-it/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [The soil is the great connector of our lives, the source and destination of all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/the-soil-is-the-great-connector-of-our-lives-the-source-and/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [I dislike the thought that some animal has been made miserable to feed me. If I am going to eat meat, I want it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/i-dislike-the-thought-that-some-animal-has-been-made-miserable-to/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/laughter-is-immeasurable-be-joyful/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [These are people who are capable of devotion, public devotion, to justice. They meant what they said and every day that passes, they mean…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/these-are-people-who-are-capable-of-devotion-public-devotion-to/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) [Explore all 847 Wendell Berry quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) ## More Assumption quotes > [Next to the assumption of power was the responsibility of relinquishing it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-disraeli/next-to-the-assumption-of-power-was-the-responsibility-of/) [Benjamin Disraeli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-disraeli/) > [It's difficult for people to come to the understanding that only a small minority of the people ever really get the word about life,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/earl-nightingale/it-s-difficult-for-people-to-come-to-the-understanding-that-only-a/) [Earl Nightingale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/earl-nightingale/) > [Much like teaching art to young art students age 10 to 15 or so on, you have to break it down into bite-sized pieces,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kehinde-wiley/much-like-teaching-art-to-young-art-students-age-10-to-15-or-so-on/) [Kehinde Wiley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kehinde-wiley/) > [Neither novels or their readers benefit from any attempts to divine whether any facts hide inside a story. Such efforts attack the very idea…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/neither-novels-or-their-readers-benefit-from-any-attempts-to-divine/) [John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/) > [The risk of developing carcinoma of the lung increases steadily as the amount smoked increases. 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And when she got into music, she had that same diligence in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-joplin/she-spent-hours-drawing-on-her-own-trying-to-perfect-her-craft-and/) [Laura Joplin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-joplin/) > [If they are, then the only ultimate truths are the particulars of concrete experience, and no postulate or general assumption is inherent in science…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chauncey-wright/if-they-are-then-the-only-ultimate-truths-are-the-particulars-of/) [Chauncey Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chauncey-wright/) > [If he's - the inference is that somehow he thinks slavery is a - is a noble institution I would - I would strongly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-w-bush/if-he-s-the-inference-is-that-somehow-he-thinks-slavery-is-a-is-a/) [George W. Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-w-bush/) > [Leadership, pure and simple, is the assumption of responsibility for the pursuit of excellence in group life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-selznick/leadership-pure-and-simple-is-the-assumption-of-responsibility-for/) Philip Selznick > [Humans suffer from self-centred notions as to the nature of life. Humans assume that alien life forms should conform to standards that match our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-perry/humans-suffer-from-self-centred-notions-as-to-the-nature-of-life/) [Steve Perry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-perry/) > [When I see a fan coming over, I can't help but make an assumption about what they want to talk about. A middle-aged American…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natalie-dormer/when-i-see-a-fan-coming-over-i-can-t-help-but-make-an-assumption/) [Natalie Dormer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natalie-dormer/) > [The Bell curve is a fact of life. 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That's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/masha-gessen/pussy-riot-have-certainly-changed-some-people-s-assumptions-about-the/) [Masha Gessen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/masha-gessen/) [Browse all 1,277 Assumption quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/assumption/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you start a conversation with the assumption that you are right or that you must win, obviously it is difficult to talk.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Wendell Berry" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/if-you-start-a-conversation-with-the-assumption-that-you-are-right-or/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Assumption" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/if-you-start-a-conversation-with-the-assumption-that-you-are-right-or/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8d/wendell-berry-236_assumption_if-you-start-a-conversation-with-the-ass_2087437.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8d/wendell-berry-236_assumption_if-you-start-a-conversation-with-the-ass_2087437.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8d/wendell-berry-236_assumption_if-you-start-a-conversation-with-the-ass_2087437.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you start a conversation with the assumption that you are right or that you must win, obviously it is…” — Wendell Berry", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Wendell Berry", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "If you start a conversation with...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/if-you-start-a-conversation-with-the-assumption-that-you-are-right-or/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/if-you-start-a-conversation-with-the-assumption-that-you-are-right-or/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```