--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When divorces meant marriage no longer…" description: "\"When divorces meant marriage no longer provided security for a lifetime, women adjusted by focusing on careers as empowerment. But when the sacrifice o..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c5e/warren-farrell-1187_ambivalence_when-divorces-meant-marriage-no-longer-p_1997751.png" --- # When divorces meant marriage no longer provided security… ![“When divorces meant marriage no longer provided security for a lifetime, women adjusted by focusing on careers as empowerment. But when the sacrifice of a career met the sacrifices in a career, the fantasy of a career became the reality of trade-offs. Women developed career ambivalence.” quote by Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c5e/warren-farrell-1187_ambivalence_when-divorces-meant-marriage-no-longer-p_1997751.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c5e/warren-farrell-1187_ambivalence_when-divorces-meant-marriage-no-longer-p_1997751.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c5e/warren-farrell-1187_ambivalence_when-divorces-meant-marriage-no-longer-p_1997751.png) > “When divorces meant marriage no longer provided security for a lifetime, women adjusted by focusing on careers as empowerment. But when the sacrifice of a career met the sacrifices in a career, the fantasy of a career became the reality of trade-offs. Women developed career ambivalence.” [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Women turned to careers for empowerment when marriage lost its security, leading to complex trade‑offs and ambivalence. **In simple terms:** Career became both empowerment and source of conflict for women. Key Takeaway Recognize and address career‑family trade‑offs. Themes gender roles career empowerment Mood reflective critical Type sociological inspirational When to use this quote - corporate policy - career counseling - flexible work - support networks Key Concepts work‑life balance social expectations Questions to Reflect On - What policies could reduce career ambivalence? - How do cultural norms shape career choices? A Different Perspective Economic pressures can limit true empowerment. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Ambivalence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ambivalence/) [Career](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/career/) [Career Ambivalence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/career-ambivalence-3498007/) [Careers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/careers/) [Careers Empowerment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/careers-empowerment-3498009/) [Cybersecurity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cybersecurity/) [Divorce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/divorce/) [Divorces Meant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/divorces-meant-3498010/) [Empowerment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/empowerment/) [Fantasy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fantasy/) [Lifetime](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lifetime/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Mets](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mets/) [Reality](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reality/) [Sacrifice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sacrifice/) [Sacrifices Career](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sacrifices-career-3498008/) [Security](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/security/) [Trade](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trade/) [Trade offs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trade-offs/) [Women Developed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/women-developed-2575126/) ## Related quotes > [I was just grateful for the fact that I was able to repay my parents for their sacrifices throughout my career.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-jane/i-was-just-grateful-for-the-fact-that-i-was-able-to-repay-my-parents/) [Dinah Jane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-jane/) > [I come from a family of tall, curvy women. I developed in my body and my shape far earlier, so from a young age…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ricki-lee-coulter/i-come-from-a-family-of-tall-curvy-women-i-developed-in-my-body-and/) [Ricki-Lee Coulter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ricki-lee-coulter/) > [Women developed it as an art. They've had to, in order to survive. The problem is that it limits you. You are in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/women-developed-it-as-an-art-they-ve-had-to-in-order-to-survive-the/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [What women have done is developed a survival mechanism, and it's a fascinating one and it's been effective and justified, in my opinion. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/what-women-have-done-is-developed-a-survival-mechanism-and-it-s-a/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Then she told herself to stop her nonsense. If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-parker/then-she-told-herself-to-stop-her-nonsense-if-you-looked-for-things/) [Dorothy Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-parker/) > [Women have developed the second attention because they were repressed, because they were manipulated, because they were used as property, as chattel, historically, for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/women-have-developed-the-second-attention-because-they-were-repressed/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [In order to survive women have developed their second attention, which men have not evolved. They use the second attention, and have used it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/in-order-to-survive-women-have-developed-their-second-attention-which/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Self-help books for those who believe 'You can have it all' often advise, 'Follow your bliss and money will follow.' With the collapse of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/self-help-books-for-those-who-believe-you-can-have-it-all-often/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [I just don't accept that there is a trade off between trade and democracy ... what we've got now is an institution that has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-davidson/i-just-don-t-accept-that-there-is-a-trade-off-between-trade-and/) [Ruth Davidson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-davidson/) > [Studies of decision-making in the monkey, where activity of single neurons in parietal cortex is recorded, you can see a lot about the time-accuracy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-churchland/studies-of-decision-making-in-the-monkey-where-activity-of-single/) [Patricia Churchland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-churchland/) > [The anointed don't like to talk about painful trade-offs. They like to talk about happy "solutionsthat get rid of the whole problem- at least…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-anointed-don-t-like-to-talk-about-painful-trade-offs-they-like-to/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [I think it's a false trade-off to say quality time versus quantity - you have to have both.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hillary-clinton/i-think-it-s-a-false-trade-off-to-say-quality-time-versus-quantity/) [Hillary Clinton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hillary-clinton/) > [You have the refugee crisis triggered by Syria. That's got a lot of costs associated with it. Domestically, budgets are incredibly tight because the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-gates/you-have-the-refugee-crisis-triggered-by-syria-that-s-got-a-lot-of/) [Bill Gates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-gates/) > [There have been trade-offs every day, every month, every year. There's a lot that I missed and I do have regrets in that area.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judy-woodruff/there-have-been-trade-offs-every-day-every-month-every-year-there-s-a/) [Judy Woodruff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judy-woodruff/) > [Every peasant cuisine has incredible ingenious tricks for getting a lot of nutrition out of a small amount of ingredients. There are people who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-pollan/every-peasant-cuisine-has-incredible-ingenious-tricks-for-getting-a/) [Michael Pollan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-pollan/) ## More by Warren Farrell > [Men are fair, and they have learned not to personalize anger - they can disagree with you and argue to the bone, but afterward…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/men-are-fair-and-they-have-learned-not-to-personalize-anger-they-can/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [Sexual harassment legislation in its present form makes all men unequal to all women.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/sexual-harassment-legislation-in-its-present-form-makes-all-men/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [By starving our children of men, we have made them more vulnerable to the very abuse we are trying to prevent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/by-starving-our-children-of-men-we-have-made-them-more-vulnerable-to/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [The legal bias for special protection for women has begun to wreak havoc with the Constitution's guarantee of equal protection.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/the-legal-bias-for-special-protection-for-women-has-begun-to-wreak/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [After years of research, I discovered 25 differences in the work-life choices of men and women. All 25 lead to men earning more money,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/after-years-of-research-i-discovered-25-differences-in-the-work-life/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [In the past we believed both sexes were born with original sin. Today, we have come to unconsciously believe in the original sin of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/in-the-past-we-believed-both-sexes-were-born-with-original-sin-today/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [If we hold the married man accountable for finances gone legally awry, then the married woman should be held accountable for children who go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/if-we-hold-the-married-man-accountable-for-finances-gone-legally-awry/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [Black men, Indian men, and gay men have all have something in common: They do not provide an economic security blanket for women.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/black-men-indian-men-and-gay-men-have-all-have-something-in-common/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [ In Stage I, divorces were not allowed, so men's \[sexual\] affairs did not put women's economic security in jeopardy; in Stage II, affairs could… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/in-stage-i-divorces-were-not-allowed-so-men-s-sexual-affairs-did-not/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [Men tuned into women but not tuned into their own hurts usually retained the attitude that women needed special protection.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/men-tuned-into-women-but-not-tuned-into-their-own-hurts-usually/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [We have restricted humans from giving 'free' food to bears and dolphins because we know that such feeding would make them dependent and lead…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/we-have-restricted-humans-from-giving-free-food-to-bears-and-dolphins/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [Irony: While we increasingly hold people more responsible if they drink and drive, we hold women less responsible if they drink and have sex.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/irony-while-we-increasingly-hold-people-more-responsible-if-they/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [A family that knows how to play together has the tools to stay together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/a-family-that-knows-how-to-play-together-has-the-tools-to-stay/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [For example, the equivalent of a woman being treated as a sex object is a man being treated as a success object.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/for-example-the-equivalent-of-a-woman-being-treated-as-a-sex-object/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) > [Sometimes I have a feeling, when I look back on my life, that all I've been through has prepared me perfectly for just what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-farrell/sometimes-i-have-a-feeling-when-i-look-back-on-my-life-that-all-i-ve/) [Warren Farrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) [Explore all 277 Warren Farrell quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-farrell/) ## More Ambivalence quotes > [The less obvious hurdle is that of preparing parents emotionally and putting forward realistic images of parenthood and motherhood. There also needs to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-valenti/the-less-obvious-hurdle-is-that-of-preparing-parents-emotionally-and/) [Jessica Valenti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-valenti/) > [“In starlit nights I saw you, So cruelly you kissed me. Your lips a magic world, Your sky all hung with jewels. The killing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/echo-and-the-bunnymen/in-starlit-nights-i-saw-you-so-cruelly-you-kissed-me-your-lips-a/) [Echo and the Bunnymen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/echo-and-the-bunnymen/) > [The base of artistic pursuit is ambivalence and complexity. And that's what I try to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fernando-perez/the-base-of-artistic-pursuit-is-ambivalence-and-complexity-and-that-s/) [Fernando Perez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fernando-perez/) > [We British play an important role in Europe, even if we have a traditional and historical ambivalence towards the continent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-barber/we-british-play-an-important-role-in-europe-even-if-we-have-a/) [Lionel Barber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-barber/) > [“Raising a child is the very definition of ambivalence. I am overwhelmed at times by how something can simultaneously be so awful and so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/raising-a-child-is-the-very-definition-of-ambivalence-i-am/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [We don't do ambivalence well in America. We do courage of our convictions. We do might makes right. Ambivalence is French. Certainty is American.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/we-don-t-do-ambivalence-well-in-america-we-do-courage-of-our/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [“The problem is that when you’re not fighting for survival, it’s easy to stop making decisions and fall into the trap of thinking you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-ryder-howe/the-problem-is-that-when-you-re-not-fighting-for-survival-it-s-easy/) [Ben Ryder Howe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-ryder-howe/) > ['The Simpsons' is about alienation and the ambivalence of living with a family who you love but who drive you completely crazy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-groening/the-simpsons-is-about-alienation-and-the-ambivalence-of-living-with-a/) [Matt Groening](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-groening/) > [I think we have deluded ourselves into believing that people don't know that abortion is killing. So any pretense that abortion is not killing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/faye-wattleton/i-think-we-have-deluded-ourselves-into-believing-that-people-don-t/) [Faye Wattleton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/faye-wattleton/) > [Prudence is not hesitation, procrastination, or moderation. It is not driving in the middle of the road. It is not the way of ambivalence,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-ortberg/prudence-is-not-hesitation-procrastination-or-moderation-it-is-not/) [John Ortberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-ortberg/) > [From the beginning, there have been some religious leaders who greeted the funding of faith-based social services by government with ambivalence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-campolo/from-the-beginning-there-have-been-some-religious-leaders-who-greeted/) [Tony Campolo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-campolo/) > [Real love, the kind you have with a person, must go through ambivalence.There is simply no way around it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kumar-anupam/real-love-the-kind-you-have-with-a-person-must-go-through-ambivalence/) [Kumar Anupam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kumar-anupam/) > [My children cause me the most exquisite suffering of which I have any experience. It is the suffering of ambivalence: the murderous alternation between…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrienne-rich/my-children-cause-me-the-most-exquisite-suffering-of-which-i-have-any/) [Adrienne Rich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adrienne-rich/) > [“Life had this unmoored quality, full of voids and barely acknowledged yearnings, and if I'd made a list of things I wanted desperately at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caroline-knapp/life-had-this-unmoored-quality-full-of-voids-and-barely-acknowledged/) [Caroline Knapp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caroline-knapp/) > [Horizontality is a desire to give up, to sleep. Verticality is an attempt to escape. Hanging and floating are states of ambivalence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-bourgeois/horizontality-is-a-desire-to-give-up-to-sleep-verticality-is-an/) [Louise Bourgeois](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-bourgeois/) [Browse all 121 Ambivalence quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ambivalence/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When divorces meant marriage no longer provided security for a lifetime, women adjusted by focusing on careers as empowerment. But when the sacrifice of a career met the sacrifices in a career, the fantasy of a career became the reality of trade-offs. 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