--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: There are only two real ways to get ahead…" description: "\"There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.\" — W. C. Fields" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e13/w-c-fields-1625_drink_there-are-only-two-real-ways-to-get-ahea_1703826.png" --- # There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell… ![“There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.” quote by W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e13/w-c-fields-1625_drink_there-are-only-two-real-ways-to-get-ahea_1703826.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e13/w-c-fields-1625_drink_there-are-only-two-real-ways-to-get-ahea_1703826.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e13/w-c-fields-1625_drink_there-are-only-two-real-ways-to-get-ahea_1703826.png) > “There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.” [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. It jokes that success comes from either selling alcohol or drinking it, highlighting a cynical view of profit and vice. **In simple terms:** Success is framed as either selling or drinking liquor. Key Takeaway Choose ethical paths over shortcuts. Themes cynicism profit vice Mood wry satirical Type humorous social commentary When to use this quote - business decisions - personal habits - industry ethics Key Concepts Moral choice social critique Questions to Reflect On - What ethical alternatives exist in your field? - How does humor reveal societal contradictions? A Different Perspective The joke ignores legitimate, honest ways to succeed. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Ahead Today](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ahead-today-1176110/) [Drink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drink/) [Liquor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/liquor/) [Liquor Drink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/liquor-drink-520586/) [Real](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real/) [Sell Liquor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sell-liquor-1176109/) [Today](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/) [Two](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/two/) [Ways Ahead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ways-ahead-1176111/) ## Related quotes > [I don't think I've ever had a liquor drink that tasted good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/blake-bortles/i-don-t-think-i-ve-ever-had-a-liquor-drink-that-tasted-good/) [Blake Bortles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/blake-bortles/) > [Why do you need a Drivers License to buy Liquor when you Cant Drink and Drive?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/why-do-you-need-a-drivers-license-to-buy-liquor-when-you-cant-drink/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Restaurants get you in with food to sell you liquor; religions get you in with belief to sell you rules.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nassim-nicholas-taleb/restaurants-get-you-in-with-food-to-sell-you-liquor-religions-get-you/) [Nassim Nicholas Taleb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nassim-nicholas-taleb/) > [When I sell liquor, it's called bootlegging; when my patrons serve it on Lake Shore Drive, it's called hospitality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-capone/when-i-sell-liquor-it-s-called-bootlegging-when-my-patrons-serve-it/) [Al Capone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-capone/) > [When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/al-capone/when-i-sell-liquor-it-s-bootlegging-when-my-patrons-serve-it-on-a/) [Al Capone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/al-capone/) > [“Seven Ways To Get Ahead in Business: 1. Be forward thinking 2. Be inventive, and daring 3. Do the right thing 4. Be honest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germany-kent/seven-ways-to-get-ahead-in-business-1-be-forward-thinking-2-be/) [Germany Kent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germany-kent/) > [There are plenty of ways to get ahead. The first is so basic I'm almost embarrassed to say it: spend less than you earn.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-clitheroe/there-are-plenty-of-ways-to-get-ahead-the-first-is-so-basic-i-m/) [Paul Clitheroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-clitheroe/) > [If you still sleep or just waking up I'm already one step ahead of you today! I want it...BAD!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-still-sleep-or-just-waking-up-i-m-already-one-step-ahead-of/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I am not proposing to seek your votes because there is a blue sky ahead today.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-callaghan/i-am-not-proposing-to-seek-your-votes-because-there-is-a-blue-sky/) [James Callaghan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-callaghan/) > [Your life isn't behind you; your memories are behind you. Your life is ALWAYS ahead of you. Today is a new day - seize…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/your-life-isn-t-behind-you-your-memories-are-behind-you-your-life-is/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The greatest adventure is what lies ahead. Today and tomorrow are yet to be said. The chances, the changes are all yours to make.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-r-r-tolkien-2/the-greatest-adventure-is-what-lies-ahead-today-and-tomorrow-are-yet/) [J. R. R. Tolkien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-r-r-tolkien-2/) > [It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-de-quincey/it-is-most-absurdly-said-in-popular-language-of-any-man-that-he-is/) [Thomas de Quincey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-de-quincey/) > [My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/my-illness-is-due-to-my-doctor-s-insistence-that-i-drink-milk-a/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/take-me-down-to-the-bar-we-ll-drink-breakfast-together/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [Sometimes they were together so often that it felt as though they really were a couple; sometimes weeks and months would go by before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sometimes-they-were-together-so-often-that-it-felt-as-though-they/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by W. C. Fields > [Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/thou-shalt-not-covet-thy-neighbor-s-house-unless-they-have-a-well/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/take-me-down-to-the-bar-we-ll-drink-breakfast-together/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/there-comes-a-time-in-the-affairs-of-man-when-he-must-take-the-bull/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [If pigs had wings, they would be pigeons.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/if-pigs-had-wings-they-would-be-pigeons/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/i-feel-like-a-midget-with-muddy-feet-had-been-walking-over-my-tongue/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [What would you do if you were President, and, on the first day of May, the Russian Ambassador presented you with a beautiful cake…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/what-would-you-do-if-you-were-president-and-on-the-first-day-of-may/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/my-illness-is-due-to-my-doctor-s-insistence-that-i-drink-milk-a/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/i-am-an-expert-of-electricity-my-father-occupied-the-chair-of-applied/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/bert-williams-was-the-funniest-man-i-ever-saw-and-the-saddest-man-i/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [A comic should suffer as much over a single line as a man with a hernia would in picking up a heavy barbell.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/a-comic-should-suffer-as-much-over-a-single-line-as-a-man-with-a/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/all-my-available-funds-are-completely-tied-up-in-cash/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/back-in-my-rummy-days-i-would-tremble-and-shake-for-hours-upon/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [Happiness means quiet nerves.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/happiness-means-quiet-nerves/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [W. C. Fields, a lifetime agnostic, was discovered reading a Bible on his deathbed. ''I'm looking for a loop-hole,'' he explained.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/w-c-fields-a-lifetime-agnostic-was-discovered-reading-a-bible-on-his/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) > [The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-c-fields/the-movie-people-would-have-nothing-to-do-with-me-until-they-heard-me/) [W. C. Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) [Explore all 221 W. C. Fields quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-c-fields/) ## More Drink quotes > [When you drink from the stream remember the spring.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chinese-proverbs/when-you-drink-from-the-stream-remember-the-spring/) [Chinese Proverbs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chinese-proverbs/) > [Before Noah, men having only water to drink, could not find the truth. Accordingly...they became abominably wicked, and they were justly exterminated by the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-franklin/before-noah-men-having-only-water-to-drink-could-not-find-the-truth/) [Benjamin Franklin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-franklin/) > [I don't drink much anymore, but when I traveled with Frank Sinatra, God rest his soul, I used to drink like I could do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-rickles/i-don-t-drink-much-anymore-but-when-i-traveled-with-frank-sinatra-god/) [Don Rickles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-rickles/) > [I would drink gallons of coffee a day. Even now, off caffeine, I talk faster than anyone you've ever met. I finally recognized that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathan-englander/i-would-drink-gallons-of-coffee-a-day-even-now-off-caffeine-i-talk/) [Nathan Englander](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathan-englander/) > [I do a lot of vocal exercises and drink hot tea, which I hate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darci-lynne-farmer/i-do-a-lot-of-vocal-exercises-and-drink-hot-tea-which-i-hate/) [Darci Lynne Farmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darci-lynne-farmer/) > [“Never date a man who can’t out-drink you in tequila.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gina-l-maxwell/never-date-a-man-who-can-t-out-drink-you-in-tequila/) [Gina L. Maxwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gina-l-maxwell/) > [I'm Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-kerouac/i-m-catholic-and-i-can-t-commit-suicide-but-i-plan-to-drink-myself-to/) [Jack Kerouac](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-kerouac/) > [“Obediently, I squash into a corner with a glass of cider. A chalkboard menu declares that the special of the day is stargazy pie.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-madeleine/obediently-i-squash-into-a-corner-with-a-glass-of-cider-a-chalkboard/) [Laura Madeleine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-madeleine/) > [I still get nervous about singing. I drink tea with honey and lemon before every concert. And I need to have scented candles in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-j-blige/i-still-get-nervous-about-singing-i-drink-tea-with-honey-and-lemon/) [Mary J. Blige](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-j-blige/) > [“I don't drink since it ruined the best thing I ever had.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kimberly-lauren/i-don-t-drink-since-it-ruined-the-best-thing-i-ever-had/) [Kimberly Lauren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kimberly-lauren/) > [Before everyshow I do like a thousand... I drink ten glasses of water!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonas-brothers/before-everyshow-i-do-like-a-thousand-i-drink-ten-glasses-of-water/) [Jonas Brothers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonas-brothers/) > [I've never even been into those supplements or any of that. I don't even drink energy shakes. I'm not into that kind of stuff.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-pierce/i-ve-never-even-been-into-those-supplements-or-any-of-that-i-don-t/) [Paul Pierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-pierce/) > [I get pretty focused when I start working on something. And I drink a lot of water, way more than most people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-woodman/i-get-pretty-focused-when-i-start-working-on-something-and-i-drink-a/) [Nick Woodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-woodman/) > [Like the water of a deep stream, love is always too much. We did not make it. Though we drink till we burst, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/like-the-water-of-a-deep-stream-love-is-always-too-much-we-did-not/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [I spend a lot of time loathing the sentences that I put down on the page. Once I'm past that phase, it doesn't really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelly-link/i-spend-a-lot-of-time-loathing-the-sentences-that-i-put-down-on-the/) [Kelly Link](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelly-link/) [Browse all 5,653 Drink quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drink/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There are only two real ways to get ahead today - sell liquor or drink it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "W. C. 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