---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I have wanted to kill myself a million…"
description: "\"I have wanted to kill myself a million times, but somehow I am still in love with life.\" — Voltaire"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af6/voltaire-173_life_i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-million-t_882287.png"
---

#  I have wanted to kill myself a million times, but somehow…

![“I have wanted to kill myself a million times, but somehow I am still in love with life.” quote by Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af6/voltaire-173_life_i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-million-t_882287.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af6/voltaire-173_life_i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-million-t_882287.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af6/voltaire-173_life_i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-million-t_882287.png)

> “I have wanted to kill myself a million times, but somehow I am still in love with life.”

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Despite repeated suicidal thoughts, he remains deeply attached to life.

**In simple terms:** Endures love for life despite despair.

Key Takeaway

Find reasons to cherish life.

Themes

resilience hope existential

Mood

hopeful serious

Type

mental health inspirational

When to use this quote

- mental health
- philosophical reflection
- support seeking
- daily gratitude

Key Concepts

Suicidal ideation meaning of life

Questions to Reflect On

- What anchors you during darkest moments?
- How can you support others in similar struggles?

A Different Perspective

May overlook need for professional help.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love &amp; life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-life-2/) [Love Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-life/) [Still in love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/still-in-love/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/)

## Related quotes

> [I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-hundred-times-but-somehow-i-am-still/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ramandeep-singh/i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-hundred-times-but-somehow-i-am-still-2/)

[Ramandeep Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ramandeep-singh/)

> [Awareness of time as flying has some advantages; it precludes boredom, for one thing. It matters little that younger people find older people boring…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germaine-greer/awareness-of-time-as-flying-has-some-advantages-it-precludes-boredom/)

[Germaine Greer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germaine-greer/)

> [“I've wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but I still love life. That ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our most pernicious inclinations.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/i-ve-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-hundred-times-but-i-still-love-life-that/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [“Love will get you through times of no sex better than sex will get you through times of no love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wesley-eisold/love-will-get-you-through-times-of-no-sex-better-than-sex-will-get/)

[Wesley Eisold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wesley-eisold/)

> [“I love you for the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, but most of all, I love you for the in-between. Because that’s where most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-m-hargrove/i-love-you-for-the-bad-the-beautiful-the-ugly-but-most-of-all-i-love/)

[A.M. Hargrove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-m-hargrove/)

> [Most times those who love us the most are those who hurt us the most.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melchor-lim/most-times-those-who-love-us-the-most-are-those-who-hurt-us-the-most/)

[Melchor Lim](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melchor-lim/)

> [“Hard times in love can make or break things; all the while showing us what's worth it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-elle/hard-times-in-love-can-make-or-break-things-all-the-while-showing-us/)

[Alexandra Elle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-elle/)

> [I suspect that in every good marriage there are times when love seems to be over.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeleine-l-engle/i-suspect-that-in-every-good-marriage-there-are-times-when-love-seems/)

[Madeleine L'Engle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeleine-l-engle/)

> [Don't love the person whose always been through the good times but love the person who never left during the bad times](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/don-t-love-the-person-whose-always-been-through-the-good-times-but/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“—there was a time when I never, ever considered the possibility that I could be wrong! Such heady times! To be so in love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-irby/there-was-a-time-when-i-never-ever-considered-the-possibility-that-i/)

[Lee Irby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-irby/)

> [Love is more important than what we can take...Please say with me three times-Love! Love! Love!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pel/love-is-more-important-than-what-we-can-take-please-say-with-me-three/)

[Pele](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pel/)

> [“I could tell you a thousand times, How much I love you, It still would not do justice on how much I love you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacey-chillemi/i-could-tell-you-a-thousand-times-how-much-i-love-you-it-still-would/)

[Stacey Chillemi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacey-chillemi/)

> [Love is . . . Being happy for the other person when they are happy, Being sad for the person when they are sad,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/love-is-being-happy-for-the-other-person-when-they-are-happy-being/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

> [Love is . . . Knowing that the other person will always be with you regardless of what happens, Missing the other person when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/love-is-knowing-that-the-other-person-will-always-be-with-you/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

## More by Voltaire

> [In every province, the chief occupations, in order of importance, are lovemaking, malicious gossip, and talking nonsense.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/in-every-province-the-chief-occupations-in-order-of-importance-are/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [Fanaticism, to which men are so much inclined, has always served not only to render them more brutalized but more wicked.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/fanaticism-to-which-men-are-so-much-inclined-has-always-served-not/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [History is the study of the world's crime](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/history-is-the-study-of-the-world-s-crime/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [We’re neither pure, nor wise, nor good; we do the best we know.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/we-re-neither-pure-nor-wise-nor-good-we-do-the-best-we-know/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [It is with books as with men: a very small number play a great part, the rest are lost in the multitude.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/it-is-with-books-as-with-men-a-very-small-number-play-a-great-part/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [Meslier was the most singular phenomenon ever seen among all the meteors fatal to the Christian religion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/meslier-was-the-most-singular-phenomenon-ever-seen-among-all-the/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [Every sensible man, every honorable man, must hold the Christian sect in horror." "Christianity is the most ridiculous, the most absurd and bloody religion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/every-sensible-man-every-honorable-man-must-hold-the-christian-sect/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [Being unable to make people more reasonable, I preferred to be happy away from them](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/being-unable-to-make-people-more-reasonable-i-preferred-to-be-happy/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [When his highness sends a ship to Egypt, does he trouble his head whether the mice on board are at their ease or not?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/when-his-highness-sends-a-ship-to-egypt-does-he-trouble-his-head/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/madness-is-to-think-of-too-many-things-in-succession-too-fast-or-of/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/god-gave-us-the-gift-of-life-it-is-up-to-us-to-give-ourselves-the/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [It is not inequality which is the real misfortune, it is dependence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/it-is-not-inequality-which-is-the-real-misfortune-it-is-dependence/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [Providence has given us hope and sleep as a compensation for the many cares of life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/providence-has-given-us-hope-and-sleep-as-a-compensation-for-the-many/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [Men use thought only to justify their wrong doings, and employ speech only to conceal their thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/men-use-thought-only-to-justify-their-wrong-doings-and-employ-speech/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

> [Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/work-spares-us-from-three-evils-boredom-vice-and-need/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

[Explore all 934 Voltaire quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

## More Life quotes

> [Of all the people who have affected my life and influenced the choices I've made, none has been more important than my father. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teddy-atlas/of-all-the-people-who-have-affected-my-life-and-influenced-the/)

[Teddy Atlas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teddy-atlas/)

> [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. Life is plurality, death is uniformity. By suppressing differences and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/octavio-paz/what-sets-worlds-in-motion-is-the-interplay-of-differences-their/)

[Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/octavio-paz/)

> [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Life works most perfectly when a reciprocal love relationship is in place between man and God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/life-works-most-perfectly-when-a-reciprocal-love-relationship-is-in/)

[Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/)

> [I value the experiences that come with life too much to sit by and not put my full effort into them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-miller/i-value-the-experiences-that-come-with-life-too-much-to-sit-by-and/)

[Jim Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-miller/)

> [Entertainment is a sacred pursuit when done well. When done well, it raises the quality of human life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-chabon/entertainment-is-a-sacred-pursuit-when-done-well-when-done-well-it/)

[Michael Chabon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-chabon/)

> [“There's more to life than you can see. Your sight is limited.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tammy-kling/there-s-more-to-life-than-you-can-see-your-sight-is-limited/)

[Tammy Kling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tammy-kling/)

> [“I've spent much of my life calling my intuition "something wrong with me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deanna-l-lawlis/i-ve-spent-much-of-my-life-calling-my-intuition-something-wrong-with/)

Deanna L. Lawlis

> [When you do things they're absolutely right at that time for you and it can always teach you something about yourself. You can take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kym-marsh/when-you-do-things-they-re-absolutely-right-at-that-time-for-you-and/)

[Kym Marsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kym-marsh/)

> [The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/the-only-people-who-think-the-internet-is-a-calamity-are-people-whose/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [The one thing that I keep learning over and over again is that I don't know nothing. I mean, that's my life lesson.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dwayne-johnson/the-one-thing-that-i-keep-learning-over-and-over-again-is-that-i-don/)

[Dwayne Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dwayne-johnson/)

> [“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write,    To thank the God of nature, who conveyed    My soul to me, and with such care…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/this-tale-of-my-sore-troubled-life-i-write-to-thank-the-god-of-nature/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“The future is only an indifferent void no one cares about, but the past is filled with life, and its countenance is irritating, repellent,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milan-kundera/the-future-is-only-an-indifferent-void-no-one-cares-about-but-the/)

[Milan Kundera](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milan-kundera/)

> [Two things revolutionised life: moving to the countryside and falling in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-love/two-things-revolutionised-life-moving-to-the-countryside-and-falling/)

[Nick Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-love/)

> [But just remember, life without me would be even more unbearable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-rice/but-just-remember-life-without-me-would-be-even-more-unbearable/)

[Anne Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-rice/)

[Browse all 265,290 Life quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "I have wanted to kill myself a million times, but somehow I am still in love with life.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Voltaire"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-million-times-but-somehow-i-am-still/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Life"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-million-times-but-somehow-i-am-still/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af6/voltaire-173_life_i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-million-t_882287.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af6/voltaire-173_life_i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-million-t_882287.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af6/voltaire-173_life_i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-million-t_882287.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“I have wanted to kill myself a million times, but somehow I am still in love with life.” — Voltaire",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Voltaire",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "I have wanted to kill myself...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-million-times-but-somehow-i-am-still/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-million-times-but-somehow-i-am-still/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
