--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I have wanted to kill myself a hundred…" description: "\"I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid mela..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ff/voltaire-173_burden_i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-hundred-t_70304.jpg" --- # I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow… ![“I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid melancholy propensities, for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe…” quote by Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ff/voltaire-173_burden_i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-hundred-t_70304.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ff/voltaire-173_burden_i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-hundred-t_70304.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ff/voltaire-173_burden_i-have-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-hundred-t_70304.jpg) > “I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid melancholy propensities, for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe one’s very being and yet to hold it fast, to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away?” [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker acknowledges persistent suicidal thoughts yet remains attached to life, highlighting a paradoxical love‑hate relationship with existence and the tendency to cling to suffering despite its destructiveness. **In simple terms:** Life’s paradox of love and self‑destruction. Key Takeaway We often cling to pain even when we know it harms us. Themes existentialism self‑destruction paradox melancholy resilience Mood melancholic reflective introspective Type philosophical literary personal When to use this quote - deep depression - existential crisis - therapeutic reflection - philosophical debate Key Concepts human condition psychological conflict attachment mortality Practical Applications - mental‑health counseling - literary analysis Questions to Reflect On - What makes us cling to harmful states? - How can love for life coexist with suicidal thoughts? ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Burden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/burden/) [Burden Gladly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/burden-gladly-924689/) [Chaos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chaos/) [Goes on](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/goes-on/) [Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heart/) [Hundred](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hundred/) [Kill Myself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kill-myself/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love & life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-life-2/) [Melancholy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/melancholy/) [Propensity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/propensity/) [Ridiculous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ridiculous/) [Ridiculous Weakness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ridiculous-weakness-924688/) [Snakes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/snakes/) [Still in love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/still-in-love/) [Stills](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stills/) [Stupid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stupid/) [Stupid Eager](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stupid-eager-924690/) [Stupid Melancholy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stupid-melancholy-924687/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Wanted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wanted/) [Weakness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/weakness/) [Weakness Stupid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/weakness-stupid-924686/) ## Related quotes > [“I've wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but I still love life. That ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our most pernicious inclinations.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/i-ve-wanted-to-kill-myself-a-hundred-times-but-i-still-love-life-that/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [You must be careful with kindness. It's usually mistaken for weakness by stupid people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/clive-barker/you-must-be-careful-with-kindness-it-s-usually-mistaken-for-weakness/) [Clive Barker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/clive-barker/) > [God, give me strength to bear my cross, a burden that I gladly bear. Help me to count the world as loss, I'm cheered…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-lee-patterson/god-give-me-strength-to-bear-my-cross-a-burden-that-i-gladly-bear/) [Kim-Lee Patterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-lee-patterson/) > [“I hate to tell you this, but you are just stupid and eager and sincere enough to make the kind of officer that men…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-a-heinlein/i-hate-to-tell-you-this-but-you-are-just-stupid-and-eager-and-sincere/) [Robert A. 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We felt comfortable in our own skins, enjoyed the news that our senses…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-morrison/guileless-and-without-vanity-we-were-still-in-love-with-ourselves/) [Toni Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-morrison/) > [You're still in love' 'No I'm not, I'm not She'll always be a part of me, and she's an important person in my life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/you-re-still-in-love-no-i-m-not-i-m-not-she-ll-always-be-a-part-of-me/) [Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/) > [And that's when I understand that I have been stained. Whether I'm still in love with him, whether he was ever in love with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gayle-forman/and-that-s-when-i-understand-that-i-have-been-stained-whether-i-m/) [Gayle Forman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gayle-forman/) > [Range after range of mountains. Year after year after year. I am still in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-snyder/range-after-range-of-mountains-year-after-year-after-year-i-am-still/) [Gary Snyder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-snyder/) > [If you have someone that you think is The One, don't just sort of think in your ordinary mind, 'Okay, let's pick a date.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-murray/if-you-have-someone-that-you-think-is-the-one-don-t-just-sort-of/) [Bill Murray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-murray/) > [Awareness of time as flying has some advantages; it precludes boredom, for one thing. It matters little that younger people find older people boring…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germaine-greer/awareness-of-time-as-flying-has-some-advantages-it-precludes-boredom/) [Germaine Greer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germaine-greer/) > [I think I'll always want to write and direct. I'm interested in producing and helping other people tell stories. But I'm still in love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shane-carruth/i-think-i-ll-always-want-to-write-and-direct-i-m-interested-in/) [Shane Carruth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shane-carruth/) > [I am still in love with couture because it is just two months from drawing pad to runway so everything on the catwalk is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christian-lacroix/i-am-still-in-love-with-couture-because-it-is-just-two-months-from/) [Christian Lacroix](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christian-lacroix/) > [We can't be friends Cause I'm still in love with you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-cox/we-can-t-be-friends-cause-i-m-still-in-love-with-you/) [Deborah Cox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-cox/) ## More by Voltaire > [In every province, the chief occupations, in order of importance, are lovemaking, malicious gossip, and talking nonsense.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/in-every-province-the-chief-occupations-in-order-of-importance-are/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [Fanaticism, to which men are so much inclined, has always served not only to render them more brutalized but more wicked.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/fanaticism-to-which-men-are-so-much-inclined-has-always-served-not/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [History is the study of the world's crime](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/history-is-the-study-of-the-world-s-crime/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [We’re neither pure, nor wise, nor good; we do the best we know.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/we-re-neither-pure-nor-wise-nor-good-we-do-the-best-we-know/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [It is with books as with men: a very small number play a great part, the rest are lost in the multitude.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/it-is-with-books-as-with-men-a-very-small-number-play-a-great-part/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [Meslier was the most singular phenomenon ever seen among all the meteors fatal to the Christian religion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/meslier-was-the-most-singular-phenomenon-ever-seen-among-all-the/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [Every sensible man, every honorable man, must hold the Christian sect in horror." "Christianity is the most ridiculous, the most absurd and bloody religion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/every-sensible-man-every-honorable-man-must-hold-the-christian-sect/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [Being unable to make people more reasonable, I preferred to be happy away from them](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/being-unable-to-make-people-more-reasonable-i-preferred-to-be-happy/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [When his highness sends a ship to Egypt, does he trouble his head whether the mice on board are at their ease or not?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/when-his-highness-sends-a-ship-to-egypt-does-he-trouble-his-head/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [Madness is to think of too many things in succession too fast, or of one thing too exclusively.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/madness-is-to-think-of-too-many-things-in-succession-too-fast-or-of/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/god-gave-us-the-gift-of-life-it-is-up-to-us-to-give-ourselves-the/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [It is not inequality which is the real misfortune, it is dependence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/it-is-not-inequality-which-is-the-real-misfortune-it-is-dependence/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [Providence has given us hope and sleep as a compensation for the many cares of life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/providence-has-given-us-hope-and-sleep-as-a-compensation-for-the-many/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [Men use thought only to justify their wrong doings, and employ speech only to conceal their thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/men-use-thought-only-to-justify-their-wrong-doings-and-employ-speech/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) > [Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice, and need](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/work-spares-us-from-three-evils-boredom-vice-and-need/) [Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) [Explore all 934 Voltaire quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/) ## More Burden quotes > [Everything I do is more memorable and I understand music more than ever now. It's not a burden to me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seungri/everything-i-do-is-more-memorable-and-i-understand-music-more-than/) [Seungri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seungri/) > [I am at a point in my life where everything I have worked for starts to look like a burden, a weight on my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simone-abou-samra/i-am-at-a-point-in-my-life-where-everything-i-have-worked-for-starts/) [Simone Abou Samra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simone-abou-samra/) > [Trump's enduring appeal is a resource to be harnessed by the Republican Party, not a burden to be jettisoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/miranda-devine/trump-s-enduring-appeal-is-a-resource-to-be-harnessed-by-the/) [Miranda Devine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/miranda-devine/) > [We want to free our citizens from the burden of excessive paper documents in every office. We want paperless transactions. We will set up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/narendra-modi/we-want-to-free-our-citizens-from-the-burden-of-excessive-paper/) [Narendra Modi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/narendra-modi/) > [We cannot go back in time and change the past, but we can repent. The Savior can wipe away our tears of regret and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dieter-f-uchtdorf/we-cannot-go-back-in-time-and-change-the-past-but-we-can-repent-the/) [Dieter F. Uchtdorf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dieter-f-uchtdorf/) > [The world around us is an increasingly hostile and sinful place. Occasionally that splashes onto us, and perhaps, in the case of a few…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-r-holland/the-world-around-us-is-an-increasingly-hostile-and-sinful-place/) [Jeffrey R. 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But Christ himself will be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther/our-office-subjects-us-to-great-burdens-and-labors-dangers-and/) [Martin Luther](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther/) > [The debt immense of endless gratitude, So burthensome, still paying, still to owe; Forgetful what from him I still receivd, And understood not that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-milton/the-debt-immense-of-endless-gratitude-so-burthensome-still-paying/) [John Milton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-milton/) [Browse all 2,567 Burden quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/burden/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. 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