--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If we refuse to forgive, we have stepped…" description: "\"“If we refuse to forgive, we have stepped into dangerous waters. First, refusing to forgive is to put ourselves in the place of God, as though vengeanc..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e0e/voddie-baucham-jr-45321_cold-shoulder_if-we-refuse-to-forgive-we-have-stepped_2215451.jpg" --- # If we refuse to forgive, we have stepped into dangerous… ![“If we refuse to forgive, we have stepped into dangerous waters. First, refusing to forgive is to put ourselves in the place of God, as though vengeance were our prerogative, not his. Second, unforgiveness says God’s wrath is insufficient. For the unbeliever, we are saying that an eternity in hell…” quote by Voddie Baucham Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e0e/voddie-baucham-jr-45321_cold-shoulder_if-we-refuse-to-forgive-we-have-stepped_2215451.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e0e/voddie-baucham-jr-45321_cold-shoulder_if-we-refuse-to-forgive-we-have-stepped_2215451.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e0e/voddie-baucham-jr-45321_cold-shoulder_if-we-refuse-to-forgive-we-have-stepped_2215451.jpg) > ““If we refuse to forgive, we have stepped into dangerous waters. First, refusing to forgive is to put ourselves in the place of God, as though vengeance were our prerogative, not his. Second, unforgiveness says God’s wrath is insufficient. For the unbeliever, we are saying that an eternity in hell is not enough; they need our slap in the face or cold shoulder to “even the scales” of justice. For the believer, we are saying that Christ’s humiliation and death are not enough. In other words, we shake our fists at God and say, “Your standards may have been satisfied, but my standard is higher!” Finally, refusing to forgive is the highest form of arrogance. Here we stand forgiven. And as we bask in the forgiveness of a perfectly holy and righteous God, we turn to our brother and say, “My sins are forgivable, but yours are not.” In other words, we act as though the sins of others are too significant to forgive while simultaneously believing that ours are not significant enough to matter.”” [Voddie Baucham Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voddie-baucham-jr/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Refusing to forgive places us in a god‑like stance of vengeance, showing arrogance and undermining divine grace. It escalates conflict and prevents healing. **In simple terms:** Refusing forgiveness is arrogant and harmful. Key Takeaway Embrace forgiveness, release pride. Themes forgiveness humility spirituality conflict resolution Mood reflective serious hopeful Type theological ethical inspirational When to use this quote - marriage counseling - church conflict - family disputes - personal resentment - workplace tension Key Concepts arrogance grace justice human frailty Questions to Reflect On - What does holding onto grudges cost you? - How can you practice forgiveness without enabling abuse? A Different Perspective Forgiveness does not excuse repeated harmful behavior; boundaries may still be needed. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Cold shoulder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cold-shoulder/) [Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness/) [Refuse Forgive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/refuse-forgive-1212173/) [Refusing Forgive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/refusing-forgive-1426496/) [Slap in the face](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/slap-in-the-face/) [Unforgiveness Says](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unforgiveness-says-4923493/) [Wrath Insufficient](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wrath-insufficient-4923494/) ## Related quotes > [“Forgiveness also frees you from the unbearable weight of holding on to an offense. It has been said that holding on to unforgiveness is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voddie-baucham-jr/forgiveness-also-frees-you-from-the-unbearable-weight-of-holding-on/) [Voddie Baucham Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voddie-baucham-jr/) > [You have the power to take away someone's happiness by refusing to forgive. That someone is you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-cohen/you-have-the-power-to-take-away-someone-s-happiness-by-refusing-to/) [Alan Cohen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-cohen/) > [Refusing to forgive is like ingesting a lethal dose of poison and hoping it kills my enemy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-lucado/refusing-to-forgive-is-like-ingesting-a-lethal-dose-of-poison-and/) [Max Lucado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-lucado/) > [“That's the unforgivable sin, you know." "What is?" "Refusing to forgive someone." "Refusing to forgive someone is the unforgivable sin?" I asked incredulously.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phyllis-reynolds-naylor/that-s-the-unforgivable-sin-you-know-what-is-refusing-to-forgive/) [Phyllis Reynolds Naylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phyllis-reynolds-naylor/) > [Refusing to forgive someone is like drinking poison, and waiting for the other person to die.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vishemo/refusing-to-forgive-someone-is-like-drinking-poison-and-waiting-for/) [VishEmo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vishemo/) > [The Apostle Paul in his letter to the Romans said that those who pass judgment on others are 'inexcusable.' The moment we judge someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dieter-f-uchtdorf/the-apostle-paul-in-his-letter-to-the-romans-said-that-those-who-pass/) [Dieter F. Uchtdorf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dieter-f-uchtdorf/) > [Do we refuse to forgive? God, too, will refuse to forgive us. As we treat our neighbors, so also does God treat us. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tikhon-of-zadonsk/do-we-refuse-to-forgive-god-too-will-refuse-to-forgive-us-as-we-treat/) [Tikhon of Zadonsk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tikhon-of-zadonsk/) > [It may be infinitely worse to refuse to forgive than to murder, because](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-macdonald/it-may-be-infinitely-worse-to-refuse-to-forgive-than-to-murder-because/) [George MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-macdonald/) > [“How can we expect the world to change if we are unwilling to change ourselves? We hate the haters, judge the judgers, and refuse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-stabile/how-can-we-expect-the-world-to-change-if-we-are-unwilling-to-change/) [Scott Stabile](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-stabile/) > [“We know nothing about the inside of our neighbor’s heart, and hence, we refuse to forgive. Jesus knew the heart inside out, and because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/venerable-fulton-j-sheen/we-know-nothing-about-the-inside-of-our-neighbor-s-heart-and-hence-we/) [Venerable Fulton J. Sheen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/venerable-fulton-j-sheen/) > [“The karmic cycle, when someone screws up really bad and hurts you. Our first instinct is to hurt back, or refuse to forgive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-probst/the-karmic-cycle-when-someone-screws-up-really-bad-and-hurts-you-our/) [Jennifer Probst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-probst/) > [“Spiritual Murder It may be an infinitely less evil to murder a man than to refuse to forgive him. The former may be the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-macdonald/spiritual-murder-it-may-be-an-infinitely-less-evil-to-murder-a-man/) [George MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-macdonald/) > [“Few suffer more than those who refuse to forgive themselves.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-norton/few-suffer-more-than-those-who-refuse-to-forgive-themselves/) [Mike Norton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-norton/) > [You refuse to forgive people, and yet on the Day of Judgment you will stand bare, begging Allah to forgive you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yasmin-mogahed/you-refuse-to-forgive-people-and-yet-on-the-day-of-judgment-you-will/) [Yasmin Mogahed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yasmin-mogahed/) > [It is unfortunate that in most cases when the sins of the father fall on the son it is because unlike God, people refuse…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-is-unfortunate-that-in-most-cases-when-the-sins-of-the-father-fall/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Voddie Baucham Jr > [“When Joseph leaves home on this simple fact-finding mission, he leaves for the last time. Joseph will never return to live in the land…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voddie-baucham-jr/when-joseph-leaves-home-on-this-simple-fact-finding-mission-he-leaves/) [Voddie Baucham Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voddie-baucham-jr/) > [“Forgiveness also frees you from the unbearable weight of holding on to an offense. It has been said that holding on to unforgiveness is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voddie-baucham-jr/forgiveness-also-frees-you-from-the-unbearable-weight-of-holding-on/) [Voddie Baucham Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voddie-baucham-jr/) > [“no matter how good things get in this world, it’s all Egypt! There will never be enough gold chains, fine linen, praise, adoration, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voddie-baucham-jr/no-matter-how-good-things-get-in-this-world-it-s-all-egypt-there-will/) [Voddie Baucham Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voddie-baucham-jr/) > [“It is one thing for me to claim that God has changed me; it is quite another for those around me to acknowledge that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voddie-baucham-jr/it-is-one-thing-for-me-to-claim-that-god-has-changed-me-it-is-quite/) [Voddie Baucham Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voddie-baucham-jr/) > [“If Psalm 1 is to be believed, we must not allow our children to stand, sit or walk with those who deny biblical truth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voddie-baucham-jr/if-psalm-1-is-to-be-believed-we-must-not-allow-our-children-to-stand/) [Voddie Baucham Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voddie-baucham-jr/) > [“We may define God’s providence as follows: God is continually involved with all created things in such a way that he (1) keeps them existing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voddie-baucham-jr/we-may-define-god-s-providence-as-follows-god-is-continually-involved/) [Voddie Baucham Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voddie-baucham-jr/) > [“Forgiveness does not mean one forgets (as in, has the ability to remember no more) the offense, but that in spite of the memory,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voddie-baucham-jr/forgiveness-does-not-mean-one-forgets-as-in-has-the-ability-to/) [Voddie Baucham Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voddie-baucham-jr/) > [“If my brothers and sisters in Christ continue to tell me something about myself that I do not see as true and accurate, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voddie-baucham-jr/if-my-brothers-and-sisters-in-christ-continue-to-tell-me-something/) [Voddie Baucham Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voddie-baucham-jr/) [Explore all 9 Voddie Baucham Jr quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voddie-baucham-jr/) ## More Cold shoulder quotes > [“Leaches Ten Tall by Stewart Stafford Don't play this game with me, Predatory whelk of tide pools, Taint me as Rigoletto to a bawd,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stewart-stafford/leaches-ten-tall-by-stewart-stafford-don-t-play-this-game-with-me/) [Stewart Stafford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stewart-stafford/) > [“Even now, after years of screaming and fighting, of cold shoulders and spiteful moves, cutting words and harmful actions, I’d never let him see…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/santino-hassell/even-now-after-years-of-screaming-and-fighting-of-cold-shoulders-and/) [Santino Hassell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/santino-hassell/) > [For he who is not deaf, half a silence is enough.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-paul-malfatti/for-he-who-is-not-deaf-half-a-silence-is-enough/) [Jean-Paul Malfatti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-paul-malfatti/) > [My definition of giving someone the cold shoulder is no longer selecting them for my mass SnapChats.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/my-definition-of-giving-someone-the-cold-shoulder-is-no-longer/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Who am I really? What has become of this bag of bones that had such great intentions in life, only to dwindle away like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ian-schware/who-am-i-really-what-has-become-of-this-bag-of-bones-that-had-such/) [Ian Schware](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ian-schware/) > [You grace me with your cold shoulder, whenever you look at me I wish I was her.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adele/you-grace-me-with-your-cold-shoulder-whenever-you-look-at-me-i-wish-i/) [Adele](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adele/) > [I trusted you as a friend but all I got is a cold shoulder after being honest with my decision. If you're hurt then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-trusted-you-as-a-friend-but-all-i-got-is-a-cold-shoulder-after/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“What a noise we'll make among the drab and dull, how we'll...wait, I want more green. I hope I did not imply I only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-hale/what-a-noise-we-ll-make-among-the-drab-and-dull-how-we-ll-wait-i-want/) [Shannon Hale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-hale/) > [Sometimes you gotta give the cold shoulder...Maybe they will respect you more!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sometimes-you-gotta-give-the-cold-shoulder-maybe-they-will-respect/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Successful salesman: someone who has found a cure for the common cold shoulder.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-orben/successful-salesman-someone-who-has-found-a-cure-for-the-common-cold/) [Robert Orben](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-orben/) > [If you insult my intelligence or character, be prepared to be on the receiving end of the ultimate cold shoulder.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-insult-my-intelligence-or-character-be-prepared-to-be-on-the/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The business community wants remarkable advertising, but turns a cold shoulder to the kind of people who can produce it. That is why most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-ogilvy/the-business-community-wants-remarkable-advertising-but-turns-a-cold/) [David Ogilvy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-ogilvy/) > [Wait. Let me guess. You’re giving me the cold shoulder, right?” With that, she sighed. “Shouldn’t you be with your friends, staring at yourselves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-sparks/wait-let-me-guess-you-re-giving-me-the-cold-shoulder-right-with-that/) [Nicholas Sparks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-sparks/) > [Wait, I want more green. I hope I did not imply I only wanted your colors. We can't turn a cold shoulder to green,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-hale/wait-i-want-more-green-i-hope-i-did-not-imply-i-only-wanted-your/) [Shannon Hale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-hale/) > [Most people know more as they get older: I give all that the cold shoulder.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-larkin/most-people-know-more-as-they-get-older-i-give-all-that-the-cold/) [Philip Larkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-larkin/) [Browse all 61 Cold shoulder quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cold-shoulder/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“If we refuse to forgive, we have stepped into dangerous waters. First, refusing to forgive is to put ourselves in the place of God, as though vengeance were our prerogative, not his. Second, unforgiveness says God’s wrath is insufficient. 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