--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: We all grew up so utterly vulnerable…" description: "\"We all grew up so utterly vulnerable, enthralled by romantic love as we knew it. First of all, it was pounded into you every which way that you've got ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34e/vivian-gornick-8241_able_we-all-grew-up-so-utterly-vulnerable-ent_2666554.png" --- # We all grew up so utterly vulnerable, enthralled by… ![“We all grew up so utterly vulnerable, enthralled by romantic love as we knew it. First of all, it was pounded into you every which way that you've got to get married and you've got to have babies. That you're not a natural woman if you don't. So that led to a lot of sitting by the telephone and…” quote by Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34e/vivian-gornick-8241_able_we-all-grew-up-so-utterly-vulnerable-ent_2666554.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34e/vivian-gornick-8241_able_we-all-grew-up-so-utterly-vulnerable-ent_2666554.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/34e/vivian-gornick-8241_able_we-all-grew-up-so-utterly-vulnerable-ent_2666554.png) > “We all grew up so utterly vulnerable, enthralled by romantic love as we knew it. First of all, it was pounded into you every which way that you've got to get married and you've got to have babies. That you're not a natural woman if you don't. So that led to a lot of sitting by the telephone and waiting for a call. And that led you into a culture in which you were always in a subordinate position without realizing it; hamstrung, not able to take action. That was the most important thing: you were always waiting to be desired.” [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Societal expectations force women into passive roles, waiting for validation rather than acting. **In simple terms:** Women are taught to wait for desire, not act. Key Takeaway Encourage proactive agency. Themes gender society passivity Mood hopeful determined Type analytical motivational When to use this quote - relationship coaching - career mentoring - activism training Key Concepts feminist critique social conditioning Questions to Reflect On - What steps can break this pattern? - How can you claim agency today? A Different Perspective Changing deep‑rooted norms takes collective effort. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Action](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/action/) [Always waiting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/always-waiting/) [Baby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/baby/) [Culture](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/culture/) [Important things](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/important-things/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Romantic love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/romantic-love/) ## Related quotes > [“Waiting for a desired result always fills me with frustration, like wanting a painful cut to heal. I want it to be finished now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sansa-rayne/waiting-for-a-desired-result-always-fills-me-with-frustration-like/) [Sansa Rayne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sansa-rayne/) > [My whole life is a contradiction on purpose - to make you think. I think people have forgetten how to have their own opinions.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffree-star/my-whole-life-is-a-contradiction-on-purpose-to-make-you-think-i-think/) [Jeffree Star](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffree-star/) > [In the arts, people are always waiting for someone or some movement to "fulfill her/its/his promise." Then, half-a-dozen or a dozen years on, others…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-r-delany/in-the-arts-people-are-always-waiting-for-someone-or-some-movement-to/) [Samuel R. Delany](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-r-delany/) > [Bless all useful objects, the spoons made of bone, the mattress I cook my dreams upon, the typewriter that is my church with an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-sexton/bless-all-useful-objects-the-spoons-made-of-bone-the-mattress-i-cook/) [Anne Sexton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-sexton/) > [I'm always waiting for you, hoping that you'll be really interested, that you'll try completely. In every life I wait for you. I've always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/i-m-always-waiting-for-you-hoping-that-you-ll-be-really-interested/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [It's hard to visualize someone as a leader, if she is always waiting to be told what to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-sandberg/it-s-hard-to-visualize-someone-as-a-leader-if-she-is-always-waiting/) [Sheryl Sandberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-sandberg/) > [Baseball is a game where you are always waiting, and then when something happens it's like turning a kaleidoscope when you were a kid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-busch/baseball-is-a-game-where-you-are-always-waiting-and-then-when/) [Frederick Busch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-busch/) > [Whenever I'm making music I'm always waiting for the shivers to happen - that's an important thing for me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/grimes/whenever-i-m-making-music-i-m-always-waiting-for-the-shivers-to/) [Grimes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/grimes/) > [If you're waiting with God, waiting is okay. If you're always waiting on God, you'll be frustrated. God never seems to work at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louie-giglio/if-you-re-waiting-with-god-waiting-is-okay-if-you-re-always-waiting/) [Louie Giglio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louie-giglio/) > [If you are always waiting to be, do, or have what you want, your energy becomes blocked. Your body may reflect this in excess…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shakti-gawain/if-you-are-always-waiting-to-be-do-or-have-what-you-want-your-energy/) [Shakti Gawain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shakti-gawain/) > [ People have to allow themselves to be used by God and Martin \[Luther King, Jr.\] committed himself totally to God's will and purpose and… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/coretta-scott-king/people-have-to-allow-themselves-to-be-used-by-god-and-martin-luther/) [Coretta Scott King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/coretta-scott-king/) > [I'm a very un-excitable person. I always take things with a grain of salt, I'm always very even-keeled, and I'm always waiting for the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-colter/i-m-a-very-un-excitable-person-i-always-take-things-with-a-grain-of/) [Mike Colter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-colter/) > [That rock and roll, eh? That rock and roll, it just won't go away. It might hibernate from time to time, sink back into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-turner/that-rock-and-roll-eh-that-rock-and-roll-it-just-won-t-go-away-it/) [Alex Turner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-turner/) > [I love baseball. What I love about baseball is that you are always waiting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-busch/i-love-baseball-what-i-love-about-baseball-is-that-you-are-always/) [Frederick Busch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-busch/) > [The world is always waiting for someone to save the day, make things better. We've lost hope in politics, preachers. ... As a child…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirk-franklin/the-world-is-always-waiting-for-someone-to-save-the-day-make-things/) [Kirk Franklin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirk-franklin/) ## More by Vivian Gornick > [Research is the live heart of the scientific life ... Greatness of position, respect for past accomplishments, the Nobel Prize itself -- none of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/research-is-the-live-heart-of-the-scientific-life-greatness-of/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [“Suddenly, literature, politics, and analysis came together, and I began to think more inclusively about the emotional imprisonment of mind and spirit to which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/suddenly-literature-politics-and-analysis-came-together-and-i-began/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [When I work I feel more alive than under any other circumstances. There's not an 'I love you' in the world that can match…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/when-i-work-i-feel-more-alive-than-under-any-other-circumstances/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [“All I had to do was get old enough and New York would be mine.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/all-i-had-to-do-was-get-old-enough-and-new-york-would-be-mine/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [“And I—the girl growing in their midst, being made in their image—I absorbed them as I would chloroform on a cloth laid against my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/and-i-the-girl-growing-in-their-midst-being-made-in-their-image-i/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [Before I knew that I was Jewish or a girl I knew that I was a member of the working class. At a time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/before-i-knew-that-i-was-jewish-or-a-girl-i-knew-that-i-was-a-member/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [When the whole world is writing letters, it's easy to lap into the quiet within, tell the story of an hour, keep alive the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/when-the-whole-world-is-writing-letters-it-s-easy-to-lap-into-the/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [“The live, warm presence of my mother had disappeared. In its place stood this remoteness posing as Mama. Her anxiety was unbearable to me.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/the-live-warm-presence-of-my-mother-had-disappeared-in-its-place/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [What you feel when you're writing is the relief of thinking: if you write the sentence correctly, you're clarifying. If you write the right…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/what-you-feel-when-you-re-writing-is-the-relief-of-thinking-if-you/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [No man worth his salt does not wish to be a husband and father; yet no man is raised to be a husband and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/no-man-worth-his-salt-does-not-wish-to-be-a-husband-and-father-yet-no/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [Psychoanalysis showed me that I might be neurotic because I was a girl but, as Chekhov might have put it, I alone had to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/psychoanalysis-showed-me-that-i-might-be-neurotic-because-i-was-a/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [“I had an affair with a downtown playwright. Two things about this man: He was an ex-alcoholic, and he was phobic about leaving the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/i-had-an-affair-with-a-downtown-playwright-two-things-about-this-man/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [The desire for narration keeps on reasserting itself, so that since modernism and fiction brought narration to an end, it is sought in memoirs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/the-desire-for-narration-keeps-on-reasserting-itself-so-that-since/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [The point of women's liberation is not to stand at the door of the male world, beating our fists, and crying, 'Let me in,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/the-point-of-women-s-liberation-is-not-to-stand-at-the-door-of-the/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) > [“Una mujer sabe si ama a un hombre", decía. "Si no está segura, es que no lo ama”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vivian-gornick/una-mujer-sabe-si-ama-a-un-hombre-dec-a-si-no-est-segura-es-que-no-lo/) [Vivian Gornick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) [Explore all 77 Vivian Gornick quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vivian-gornick/) ## More Able quotes > [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/) [Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/) > [I have observed this in my experience of slavery, - that whenever my condition was improved, instead of its increasing my contentment, it only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-douglass/i-have-observed-this-in-my-experience-of-slavery-that-whenever-my/) [Frederick Douglass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-douglass/) > [There is something about the South that accepts the supernatural. 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I'm still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nas/i-think-i-ve-had-the-longest-career-of-strength-focus-and-still-being/) [Nas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nas/) > [I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-have-that-need-in-me-i-want-everyone-to-love-me-but-i-m-embarrassed/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [Thinking about the things that happened, I don't know any other ball player would could have done what he (Jackie Robinson) did. 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