--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When we are in constant pain, we cannot…" description: "\"“When we are in constant pain, we cannot empathize with others, nor can we help them. It is only when we allow ourselves to open up to our own nourishm..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bb/vironika-tugaleva-2648_compassion_when-we-are-in-constant-pain-we-cannot-e_2692871.jpg" --- # When we are in constant pain, we cannot empathize with… ![“When we are in constant pain, we cannot empathize with others, nor can we help them. It is only when we allow ourselves to open up to our own nourishment that we are free to feed the rest of the world. And thus, to attend to one's own suffering is the most selfless act.” quote by Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bb/vironika-tugaleva-2648_compassion_when-we-are-in-constant-pain-we-cannot-e_2692871.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bb/vironika-tugaleva-2648_compassion_when-we-are-in-constant-pain-we-cannot-e_2692871.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bb/vironika-tugaleva-2648_compassion_when-we-are-in-constant-pain-we-cannot-e_2692871.jpg) > ““When we are in constant pain, we cannot empathize with others, nor can we help them. It is only when we allow ourselves to open up to our own nourishment that we are free to feed the rest of the world. And thus, to attend to one's own suffering is the most selfless act.”” [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Self‑care is essential; only by nourishing ourselves can we truly help others, making personal suffering a selfless act. **In simple terms:** Help others by caring for yourself first. Key Takeaway Prioritize self‑nourishment. Themes self‑care empathy altruism Mood inspirational thoughtful Type philosophical motivational When to use this quote - healthcare - volunteering - parenting - leadership Key Concepts psychology of compassion self‑compassion service ethics Questions to Reflect On - How does self‑care enable service? - What barriers prevent you from self‑nourishment? A Different Perspective May be misinterpreted as selfishness. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Attend Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attend-suffering-2672045/) [Compassion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) [Empathy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/empathy/) [Healing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/healing/) [Pain Empathize](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain-empathize-2672044/) [Self healing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-healing/) [Selfishness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/selfishness/) [Selfless](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/selfless/) [Selflessness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/selflessness/) [Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering/) [Suffering Selfless](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering-selfless-2672043/) ## Related quotes > [The condition of truth, is to allow suffering to speak. Which means attend to suffering of the least of these, of the orphan, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cornel-west/the-condition-of-truth-is-to-allow-suffering-to-speak-which-means/) [Cornel West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cornel-west/) > [“You do not need any more strength. You need only to realize how strong you already are.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/you-do-not-need-any-more-strength-you-need-only-to-realize-how-strong/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“Do not settle for labels that presume you will never heal. Believe in yourself. Find a tribe who understands and believes in you too.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/do-not-settle-for-labels-that-presume-you-will-never-heal-believe-in/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“When I'm triggered, I think, "This will last forever" or "What if this lasts forever?" I get thoughts about how I should give up,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/when-i-m-triggered-i-think-this-will-last-forever-or-what-if-this/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“No matter how much you cry, the tears will dry. No matter how many nightmares, flashbacks, visions, or terrors you endure, they will pass.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/no-matter-how-much-you-cry-the-tears-will-dry-no-matter-how-many/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“Peace is not the absence of pain, but the welcoming of pain as a teacher.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/peace-is-not-the-absence-of-pain-but-the-welcoming-of-pain-as-a/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [Our practice should be based on the ideal of selflessness. Selflessness is very difficult to understand. If you try to be selfless, that is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shunryu-suzuki/our-practice-should-be-based-on-the-ideal-of-selflessness/) [Shunryu Suzuki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shunryu-suzuki/) > [Desire is the root of selfishness; clear your heart of desire and be selfless. Selflessness is the key to inner peace.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christofer-drew/desire-is-the-root-of-selfishness-clear-your-heart-of-desire-and-be/) [Christofer Drew](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christofer-drew/) > [“Self-serving biases and self-centered agendas are cotton jammed in the ears of our conscience. Even if truth shouts, we can’t hear it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-d-lounsbrough/self-serving-biases-and-self-centered-agendas-are-cotton-jammed-in/) [Craig D. Lounsbrough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-d-lounsbrough/) > [You will have to make up for the smallness of your size by your courage and selfless devotion to duty, for it is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muhammad-ali-jinnah/you-will-have-to-make-up-for-the-smallness-of-your-size-by-your/) [Muhammad Ali Jinnah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muhammad-ali-jinnah/) > [“Paltry supply with capable means is one face of iniquity.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-harglesis/paltry-supply-with-capable-means-is-one-face-of-iniquity/) [Andy Harglesis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-harglesis/) > [“Sometimes you have to close your eyes to see, but you always have to cease talking to listen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aegelis/sometimes-you-have-to-close-your-eyes-to-see-but-you-always-have-to/) [Aegelis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aegelis/) > [“An effective life is a selfless one”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sunday-adelaja/an-effective-life-is-a-selfless-one/) [Sunday Adelaja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sunday-adelaja/) > [“Some of our friends are our friends only because we used to be friends.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/some-of-our-friends-are-our-friends-only-because-we-used-to-be-friends/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > [“Witnessing a selfless act brings tears to remind us how we should be treating others.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryant-mcgill/witnessing-a-selfless-act-brings-tears-to-remind-us-how-we-should-be/) [Bryant McGill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryant-mcgill/) ## More by Vironika Tugaleva > [“What if each time you experienced an emotion, you acknowledged it, accepted it, and became curious about its message for you (instead of trying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/what-if-each-time-you-experienced-an-emotion-you-acknowledged-it/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“Instead of labelling your emotions as problems to solve, you can see them as signals to interpret. Instead of judging your desires as shameful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/instead-of-labelling-your-emotions-as-problems-to-solve-you-can-see/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“The biggest mistake people make when trying to be authentic is just that: they try. They see these role models of what an "authentic"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/the-biggest-mistake-people-make-when-trying-to-be-authentic-is-just/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“We are like puzzle pieces who are perfectly suited to make a giant picture together, but we are assembling ourselves in the dark.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/we-are-like-puzzle-pieces-who-are-perfectly-suited-to-make-a-giant/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“Don't let your fear of criticism suffocate your leadership potential. Once you begin to speak your truth, you will discover the people who have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/don-t-let-your-fear-of-criticism-suffocate-your-leadership-potential/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“This is what a real teacher does: she opens the gates of our minds to the possibilities of the soul.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/this-is-what-a-real-teacher-does-she-opens-the-gates-of-our-minds-to/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“Day after day, more and more medications are prescribed for depression and addiction, assuming that these things run in our blood, when really they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/day-after-day-more-and-more-medications-are-prescribed-for-depression/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“Any piece of advice comes with some risk of creating dependence. What we can do is add trust to the mix so it can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/any-piece-of-advice-comes-with-some-risk-of-creating-dependence-what/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“There was magic. Some kind of alchemy. I don't remember the moment you transformed from a prop into a main character. No, that's not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/there-was-magic-some-kind-of-alchemy-i-don-t-remember-the-moment-you/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“When you love people, you are curious about who they are, what they think, and how they feel. You watch them closely, wondering about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/when-you-love-people-you-are-curious-about-who-they-are-what-they/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“There is no transcending our minds, only using them optimally.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/there-is-no-transcending-our-minds-only-using-them-optimally/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“We throw away real people searching for the "perfect" person the same way that we throw ourselves away searching for our "perfect" self.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/we-throw-away-real-people-searching-for-the-perfect-person-the-same/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“Fear is just a misunderstanding of your immortality.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/fear-is-just-a-misunderstanding-of-your-immortality/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“Perhaps the most liberating moment in my life was when I realized that my self-loathing was not a product of my inadequacy but, rather,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/perhaps-the-most-liberating-moment-in-my-life-was-when-i-realized/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) > [“When you discover your own self, you will see that same infinite potential in your lover’s eyes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/when-you-discover-your-own-self-you-will-see-that-same-infinite/) [Vironika Tugaleva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) [Explore all 156 Vironika Tugaleva quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/) ## More Compassion quotes > [Half the misery of human life might be extinguished if men would alleviate the general curse they lie under by mutual offices of compassion,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/half-the-misery-of-human-life-might-be-extinguished-if-men-would/) [Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/) > [“I fight with love and kindness as my weapons and compassion as my defense.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debasish-mridha/i-fight-with-love-and-kindness-as-my-weapons-and-compassion-as-my/) [Debasish Mridha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debasish-mridha/) > [I really enjoy making people laugh; I've discovered that's a great technique. That's as powerful as stirring their sorrow, stirring their compassion, because that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-lucado/i-really-enjoy-making-people-laugh-i-ve-discovered-that-s-a-great/) [Max Lucado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-lucado/) > [“If you refuse to use physical force, then you will be at the mercy of your oppressor!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/segun-magbagbeola/if-you-refuse-to-use-physical-force-then-you-will-be-at-the-mercy-of/) [Segun Magbagbeola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/segun-magbagbeola/) > [For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geneen-roth/for-some-reason-we-are-truly-convinced-that-if-we-criticize-ourselves/) [Geneen Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geneen-roth/) > [I could not have slept tonight if I had left that helpless little creature to perish on the ground.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abraham-lincoln/i-could-not-have-slept-tonight-if-i-had-left-that-helpless-little/) [Abraham Lincoln](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abraham-lincoln/) > [We are puzzled and bewildered whenever we see suffering in this world because we have become accustomed to the mercy and the long-suffering of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-c-sproul/we-are-puzzled-and-bewildered-whenever-we-see-suffering-in-this-world/) [R. C. Sproul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-c-sproul/) > [“Helpers in every corner, helpers in every hood. That's how we'll make the move, to reform from rude.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abhijit-naskar/helpers-in-every-corner-helpers-in-every-hood-that-s-how-we-ll-make/) [Abhijit Naskar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/abhijit-naskar/) > [There are a number of qualities which are important for mental peace, but from the little experience I have, I believe that one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama/there-are-a-number-of-qualities-which-are-important-for-mental-peace/) [Dalai Lama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama/) > [May the gods have mercy on whoever pisses them off, because Zarek and Jericho will have none for them. (Madoc) You’d better be glad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/may-the-gods-have-mercy-on-whoever-pisses-them-off-because-zarek-and/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [When you need empathy, you cannot give empathy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marshall-b-rosenberg/when-you-need-empathy-you-cannot-give-empathy/) [Marshall B. Rosenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marshall-b-rosenberg/) > [But victimhood was seductive, a release from responsibility and caring. Fear would be transmuted into weary resignation; failure would no longer generate guilt but,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/but-victimhood-was-seductive-a-release-from-responsibility-and-caring/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [“No one has any right to tell you that the way you perceive yourself is wrong. Because by doing so, they also discourage the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamand-kojouri/no-one-has-any-right-to-tell-you-that-the-way-you-perceive-yourself/) [Kamand Kojouri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamand-kojouri/) > [“la ilaha ilallah muhammadun rasulullah, alaihi salatullah wa alihi wal ahibba "shine your mercy like the sun, and be gracious as the earth let…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/talib-al-habib/la-ilaha-ilallah-muhammadun-rasulullah-alaihi-salatullah-wa-alihi-wal/) [Talib al Habib](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/talib-al-habib/) > [The love for all living creatures is the most noble attribute of man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-darwin/the-love-for-all-living-creatures-is-the-most-noble-attribute-of-man/) [Charles Darwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-darwin/) [Browse all 9,892 Compassion quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“When we are in constant pain, we cannot empathize with others, nor can we help them. It is only when we allow ourselves to open up to our own nourishment that we are free to feed the rest of the world. And thus, to attend to one's own suffering is the most selfless act.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Vironika Tugaleva" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/when-we-are-in-constant-pain-we-cannot-empathize-with-others-nor-can/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Compassion" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/when-we-are-in-constant-pain-we-cannot-empathize-with-others-nor-can/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bb/vironika-tugaleva-2648_compassion_when-we-are-in-constant-pain-we-cannot-e_2692871.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bb/vironika-tugaleva-2648_compassion_when-we-are-in-constant-pain-we-cannot-e_2692871.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bb/vironika-tugaleva-2648_compassion_when-we-are-in-constant-pain-we-cannot-e_2692871.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When we are in constant pain, we cannot empathize with others, nor can we help them. It is only when we…” — Vironika Tugaleva", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Vironika Tugaleva", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vironika-tugaleva/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“When we are in constant pain,...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/when-we-are-in-constant-pain-we-cannot-empathize-with-others-nor-can/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vironika-tugaleva/when-we-are-in-constant-pain-we-cannot-empathize-with-others-nor-can/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```