---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: He was a failure, he repeated. Well, look…"
description: "\"“He was a failure, he repeated. Well, look then, feel then. Flashing her needles, glancing round about her, out of the window, into the room, at James ..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9de/virginia-woolf-49_children_he-was-a-failure-he-repeated-well-look-t_161463.jpg"
---

#  He was a failure, he repeated. Well, look then, feel then…

![“He was a failure, he repeated. Well, look then, feel then. Flashing her needles, glancing round about her, out of the window, into the room, at James himself, she assured him, beyond a shadow of a doubt, by her laugh, her poise, her competence (as a nurse carrying a light across a dark room…” quote by Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9de/virginia-woolf-49_children_he-was-a-failure-he-repeated-well-look-t_161463.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9de/virginia-woolf-49_children_he-was-a-failure-he-repeated-well-look-t_161463.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9de/virginia-woolf-49_children_he-was-a-failure-he-repeated-well-look-t_161463.jpg)

> ““He was a failure, he repeated. Well, look then, feel then. Flashing her needles, glancing round about her, out of the window, into the room, at James himself, she assured him, beyond a shadow of a doubt, by her laugh, her poise, her competence (as a nurse carrying a light across a dark room assures a fractious child), that it was real; the house was full; the garden blowing. If he put implicit faith in her, nothing should hurt him; however deep he buried himself or climed high, not for a second should he find himself without her. So boasting of her capacity to surround and protect, there was scarcely a shell of herself left for her to know herself by; all was so lavished and spent; and James, as he stood stiff between her knees, felt her rise in a rosy-flowered fruit tree laid with leaves and dancing boughs into which the beak of brass, the arid scimitar of his father, the egotistical man, plunged and smote, demanding sympathy.””

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The passage portrays a complex, emotionally charged relationship where affection and dependence intertwine, leading to self‑loss and yearning for validation.

**In simple terms:** Intense love can blur identity and cause emotional exhaustion.

Key Takeaway

Recognize and maintain personal boundaries in relationships.

Themes

love identity dependency psychology

Mood

reflective melancholic

Type

literary psychological

When to use this quote

- romantic relationships
- caregiver dynamics
- personal reflection

Key Concepts

emotional intimacy self‑sacrifice psychological dependence

Questions to Reflect On

- Do you feel you lose yourself in caring for others?
- How can love be balanced with self‑preservation?

A Different Perspective

Intense devotion may erode self‑awareness and autonomy.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Dark room](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dark-room/) [Failure](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/failure/)

## Related quotes

> [“So boasting of her capacity to surround and protect, there was scarcely a shell of herself left for her to know herself by; all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/so-boasting-of-her-capacity-to-surround-and-protect-there-was-2/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [Oh, but she never wanted James to grow a day older or Cam either. These two she would have liked to keep for ever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/oh-but-she-never-wanted-james-to-grow-a-day-older-or-cam-either-these-2/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [“Oh, but she never wanted James to grow a day older! or Cam either. These two she would have liked to keep for ever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/oh-but-she-never-wanted-james-to-grow-a-day-older-or-cam-either-these/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [When I do my music, I don't even go to the studio. It's just me and my engineer in a dark room somewhere, recording.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-wave/when-i-do-my-music-i-don-t-even-go-to-the-studio-it-s-just-me-and-my/)

[Rod Wave](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-wave/)

> [Beautiful pictures are developed from negatives in a dark room. So any time you see darkness in your life. It means God is developing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/beautiful-pictures-are-developed-from-negatives-in-a-dark-room-so-any/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

> [“…dreaming backwards can carry a man through some dark rooms where the walls seem lined with razor blades.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-bragg/dreaming-backwards-can-carry-a-man-through-some-dark-rooms-where-the/)

[Rick Bragg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-bragg/)

> [“Deepest of all in her personality was the golden radiance that she diffused around her. As an open fire in a dark room throws…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/deepest-of-all-in-her-personality-was-the-golden-radiance-that-she/)

[F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/)

> [“And suddenly there came a second, when somehow for the first time I saw (as if a door had opened from a dark room…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seraphim-rose/and-suddenly-there-came-a-second-when-somehow-for-the-first-time-i/)

[Seraphim Rose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seraphim-rose/)

> [People go to the movies instead of moving. Hollywood characters are supposed to have all the adventures for everybody in America, while everybody in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tennessee-williams/people-go-to-the-movies-instead-of-moving-hollywood-characters-are/)

[Tennessee Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tennessee-williams/)

> [“All right. You want to know about Nigel. I’ll tell you about Nigel. He’s come a long way since that so-called accident, Jon. Heck,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shawn-corey/all-right-you-want-to-know-about-nigel-i-ll-tell-you-about-nigel-he-s/)

Shawn Corey

> [“Like children in a dark room, like wayfarers passing a graveyard at night, the four men in the canoe filled the surrounding darkness with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-adams/like-children-in-a-dark-room-like-wayfarers-passing-a-graveyard-at/)

[Richard Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-adams/)

> [Death is staring too long into the burning sun and the relief of entering a cool, dark room.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elisabeth-kubler-ross/death-is-staring-too-long-into-the-burning-sun-and-the-relief-of/)

[Elisabeth Kubler-Ross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elisabeth-kubler-ross/)

> [Following the Noble Path is like entering a dark room with a light in the hand; the darkness will all be cleared away, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/following-the-noble-path-is-like-entering-a-dark-room-with-a-light-in/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [You should climb around inside my brain, Dan. It's like this dark room surrounded by quicksand." "I know what you mean," her brother said…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-lerangis/you-should-climb-around-inside-my-brain-dan-it-s-like-this-dark-room/)

[Peter Lerangis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-lerangis/)

> [Forgetting your Self is the greatest injury; all the calamities flow from it. Take care of the most important, the lesser will take care…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sri-nisargadatta-maharaj/forgetting-your-self-is-the-greatest-injury-all-the-calamities-flow/)

[Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sri-nisargadatta-maharaj/)

## More by Virginia Woolf

> [Fatigue is the safest sleeping draught.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/fatigue-is-the-safest-sleeping-draught/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [“The train slows and lengthens, as we approach London, the centre, and my heart draws out too, in fear, in exaltation. I am about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/the-train-slows-and-lengthens-as-we-approach-london-the-centre-and-my/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [“Across the broad continent of a woman's life falls the shadow of a sword. On one side all is correct, definite, orderly; the paths…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/across-the-broad-continent-of-a-woman-s-life-falls-the-shadow-of-a/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [“Other worshipful objects were content with worship; men, women, God, all let one kneel prostrate; but this form, were it only the shape of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/other-worshipful-objects-were-content-with-worship-men-women-god-all/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [Why does Samuel Butler say, 'Wise men never say what they think of women'? Wise men never say anything else apparently.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/why-does-samuel-butler-say-wise-men-never-say-what-they-think-of/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [“Sometimes he woke with a brain like lead; at others it was as if a thousand wax tapers were alight and people were throwing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/sometimes-he-woke-with-a-brain-like-lead-at-others-it-was-as-if-a/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [The extraordinary woman depends on the ordinary woman. It is only when we know what were the conditions of the average woman's life -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/the-extraordinary-woman-depends-on-the-ordinary-woman-it-is-only-when/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [A veil of insanity everywhere: Oh why I was born in this age? It is a terrible age.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/a-veil-of-insanity-everywhere-oh-why-i-was-born-in-this-age-it-is-a/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [Love ought to stop on both sides, don’t you think, simultaneously?’ He spoke without any stress on the words, so as not to wake…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/love-ought-to-stop-on-both-sides-don-t-you-think-simultaneously-he/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [“It is so vast an alleviation to be able to point for another to look at. And then not to talk. To follow the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/it-is-so-vast-an-alleviation-to-be-able-to-point-for-another-to-look/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [“What a vast fertility of pleasure books hold for me! (...) I think I could happily live here &amp; read forever.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/what-a-vast-fertility-of-pleasure-books-hold-for-me-i-think-i-could/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [“what a luxury to be alone once more,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/what-a-luxury-to-be-alone-once-more/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [“...a woman writing thinks back through her mothers.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/a-woman-writing-thinks-back-through-her-mothers/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [“For one's children so often gave one's own perceptions a little thrust forwards.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/for-one-s-children-so-often-gave-one-s-own-perceptions-a-little/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [“She would not say of anyone in the world now that they were this or were that. She felt very young; at the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/she-would-not-say-of-anyone-in-the-world-now-that-they-were-this-or/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

[Explore all 1,872 Virginia Woolf quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

## More Children quotes

> [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/)

[Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/)

> [Behind every successful child is an adult who believed in him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/behind-every-successful-child-is-an-adult-who-believed-in-him/)

[Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/)

> [I believe in freedom to do what you want if you aren't hurting others, but pictures of obese protesters giving their children big gulps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-defranco/i-believe-in-freedom-to-do-what-you-want-if-you-aren-t-hurting-others/)

[Philip DeFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-defranco/)

> [If the audience likes your work, if they like you, they don't think whether you are married or have children or not. I made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dimple-kapadia/if-the-audience-likes-your-work-if-they-like-you-they-don-t-think/)

[Dimple Kapadia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dimple-kapadia/)

> [It doesnt seem to me strange that children should like the macabre, the sensational, and the forbidden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-hecht/it-doesnt-seem-to-me-strange-that-children-should-like-the-macabre/)

[Anthony Hecht](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-hecht/)

> [Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-children-support-their-parents-or-be-imprisoned/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/)

[Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/)

> [My embarrassing confession is that my father is a 'Camelot: The Musical' obsessive. So as a child, when we were going to visit relatives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-chibnall/my-embarrassing-confession-is-that-my-father-is-a-camelot-the-musical/)

[Chris Chibnall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-chibnall/)

> [I have many who keep me going, I am very fortunate in this sense. There is nothing like a child who knows more about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/floyd-cooper/i-have-many-who-keep-me-going-i-am-very-fortunate-in-this-sense-there/)

[Floyd Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/floyd-cooper/)

> [My school was one of the most beautiful places a child can grow up in. You are surrounded by nature - cats, dogs, birds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amala-akkineni/my-school-was-one-of-the-most-beautiful-places-a-child-can-grow-up-in/)

[Amala Akkineni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amala-akkineni/)

> [A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/a-lesser-complaint-hair-extensions-there-are-moments-on-all-my/)

[Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/)

> [As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-cho/as-a-child-i-had-a-lot-of-older-gay-men-taking-care-of-me-there-s-a/)

[Margaret Cho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-cho/)

> [If my child had prejudice in his head, I'd be ashamed. I would see it as my failure as a parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/salman-rushdie/if-my-child-had-prejudice-in-his-head-i-d-be-ashamed-i-would-see-it/)

[Salman Rushdie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/salman-rushdie/)

> [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/)

[Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/)

> [As a child I was very involved with sports and I knew at age 9 that I wanted to be an Olympic champion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marion-jones/as-a-child-i-was-very-involved-with-sports-and-i-knew-at-age-9-that-i/)

[Marion Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marion-jones/)

[Browse all 62,396 Children quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“He was a failure, he repeated. Well, look then, feel then. Flashing her needles, glancing round about her, out of the window, into the room, at James himself, she assured him, beyond a shadow of a doubt, by her laugh, her poise, her competence (as a nurse carrying a light across a dark room assures a fractious child), that it was real; the house was full; the garden blowing. If he put implicit faith in her, nothing should hurt him; however deep he buried himself or climed high, not for a second should he find himself without her. So boasting of her capacity to surround and protect, there was scarcely a shell of herself left for her to know herself by; all was so lavished and spent; and James, as he stood stiff between her knees, felt her rise in a rosy-flowered fruit tree laid with leaves and dancing boughs into which the beak of brass, the arid scimitar of his father, the egotistical man, plunged and smote, demanding sympathy.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Virginia Woolf"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/he-was-a-failure-he-repeated-well-look-then-feel-then-flashing-her/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Children"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/he-was-a-failure-he-repeated-well-look-then-feel-then-flashing-her/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9de/virginia-woolf-49_children_he-was-a-failure-he-repeated-well-look-t_161463.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9de/virginia-woolf-49_children_he-was-a-failure-he-repeated-well-look-t_161463.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9de/virginia-woolf-49_children_he-was-a-failure-he-repeated-well-look-t_161463.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“He was a failure, he repeated. Well, look then, feel then. Flashing her needles, glancing round about her…” — Virginia Woolf",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Virginia Woolf",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“He was a failure, he repeated....",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/he-was-a-failure-he-repeated-well-look-then-feel-then-flashing-her/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/he-was-a-failure-he-repeated-well-look-then-feel-then-flashing-her/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
