--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When I realised that I had feelings for…" description: "\"When I realised that I had feelings for men as well as women, at first I was worried and frightened, and there was a certain amount of 'Who am I? Am I ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d2/vikram-seth-4208_am_when-i-realised-that-i-had-feelings-for_1837073.jpg" --- # When I realised that I had feelings for men as well as… ![“When I realised that I had feelings for men as well as women, at first I was worried and frightened, and there was a certain amount of 'Who am I? Am I a criminal?' and so on. It took me a long time to come to terms with myself. Those were painful years - painful then and painful to look back on.” quote by Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d2/vikram-seth-4208_am_when-i-realised-that-i-had-feelings-for_1837073.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d2/vikram-seth-4208_am_when-i-realised-that-i-had-feelings-for_1837073.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d2/vikram-seth-4208_am_when-i-realised-that-i-had-feelings-for_1837073.jpg) > “When I realised that I had feelings for men as well as women, at first I was worried and frightened, and there was a certain amount of 'Who am I? Am I a criminal?' and so on. It took me a long time to come to terms with myself. Those were painful years - painful then and painful to look back on.” [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator describes the struggle of recognizing and accepting bisexual identity amid fear and self‑judgment. **In simple terms:** Accepting bisexual identity after fear. Key Takeaway Embrace self‑acceptance despite societal pressure. Themes identity sexuality self‑acceptance fear growth Mood hopeful introspective Type personal educational When to use this quote - coming‑out - personal reflection - support groups - educational settings Key Concepts LGBTQ+ studies psychology social stigma Questions to Reflect On - How can communities support bisexual individuals? - What internal steps help overcome self‑judgment? A Different Perspective The quote may overlook external support systems that aid acceptance. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Am](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/am/) [Amount](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/amount/) [Back](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/back/) [Certain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/certain/) [Come](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/come/) [Criminal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/criminal/) [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Feelings Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings-men-782298/) [First](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/first/) [Frightened](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/frightened/) [Had](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/had/) [I am](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/i-am/) [Long](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long/) [Long time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long-time/) [Look](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/look/) [Me](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/me/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [Myself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/myself/) [Painful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/painful/) [Painful Years](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/painful-years-984887/) [Realised](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/realised/) [Realised Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/realised-feelings-2320387/) [Terms](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/terms/) [Then](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/then/) [Those](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/those/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Took](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/took/) [Well](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/well/) [Were](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/were/) [Who](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/who/) [Who am i](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/who-am-i/) [Women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/women/) [Worried](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/worried/) [Years](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years/) [Years Painful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years-painful-1980919/) ## Related quotes > [“The one thing that had gotten me through these painful years was my faith that God was behind this and was guiding me to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/guideposts/the-one-thing-that-had-gotten-me-through-these-painful-years-was-my/) [Guideposts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/guideposts/) > [School was unbelievably painful. It was five years of being pretty sad.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adwoa-aboah/school-was-unbelievably-painful-it-was-five-years-of-being-pretty-sad/) [Adwoa Aboah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adwoa-aboah/) > [Mistakes are painful but years later a collection of mistakes called Experience Leads us to Success So dont be Afraid of Mistakes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/babloo/mistakes-are-painful-but-years-later-a-collection-of-mistakes-called-2/) [Babloo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/babloo/) > [I have always believed that this idea of having a nation go through this very painful five or six years of continuous recession with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antonis-samaras/i-have-always-believed-that-this-idea-of-having-a-nation-go-through/) [Antonis Samaras](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antonis-samaras/) > [We just have to be crystal clear that if we were to abandon all the reforms made over some very painful years in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-hewitt/we-just-have-to-be-crystal-clear-that-if-we-were-to-abandon-all-the/) [Patricia Hewitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-hewitt/) > [Stand up comedy can be a tough world to break into. It can take years of painful soul searching, disappointing performances, and pounding the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-cooper/stand-up-comedy-can-be-a-tough-world-to-break-into-it-can-take-years/) [Sarah Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-cooper/) > [To become young again would seem to me an appalling prospect. Youth is a kind of delirium, which can be cured, if it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/logan-pearsall-smith/to-become-young-again-would-seem-to-me-an-appalling-prospect-youth-is/) [Logan Pearsall Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/logan-pearsall-smith/) > [“And time is a curious thing. Most of us only live for the time that lies right ahead of us. A few days, weeks,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fredrik-backman/and-time-is-a-curious-thing-most-of-us-only-live-for-the-time-that-2/) [Fredrik Backman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fredrik-backman/) > [Redshirt years, even though they are painful to go through, when you do go through them, if you are a driven guy, you can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-izzo/redshirt-years-even-though-they-are-painful-to-go-through-when-you-do/) [Tom Izzo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-izzo/) > [If I had not passed through trial - through passion, one could say - through these years so painful and so rich, I don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isabelle-adjani/if-i-had-not-passed-through-trial-through-passion-one-could-say/) [Isabelle Adjani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isabelle-adjani/) > [I blame years of painful and unproductive physiotherapy for my couch potato ways.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/liz-carr/i-blame-years-of-painful-and-unproductive-physiotherapy-for-my-couch/) [Liz Carr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/liz-carr/) > [To return after long years of painful absence to some place which has been the scene of our former joys, and whence the force…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-lover/to-return-after-long-years-of-painful-absence-to-some-place-which-has/) [Samuel Lover](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-lover/) > [“Lots of men think that women should tell the truth, explain their feelings. These men should use their wishes more wisely. (Prepare To Die!,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-tobin/lots-of-men-think-that-women-should-tell-the-truth-explain-their/) [Paul Tobin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-tobin/) > [“There are no defenders of man’s mind—in the world’s greatest scientific-technological civilization. All that is left is a battle between the mystics of spirit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayn-rand/there-are-no-defenders-of-man-s-mind-in-the-world-s-greatest/) [Ayn Rand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayn-rand/) > [Monsters, among other brutes, are the ones without guilt feelings. Perhaps Hitler did not have any, or Himmler, or Stalin. Maybe Mafia bosses do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-benedict-xvi/monsters-among-other-brutes-are-the-ones-without-guilt-feelings/) [Pope Benedict XVI](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-benedict-xvi/) ## More by Vikram Seth > [Realism hasn't fallen out of favor with most people, who are interested in people's lives rather than gymnastics of style or literary trends. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/realism-hasn-t-fallen-out-of-favor-with-most-people-who-are/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [I don't think anyone should be banned. If you don't like a book, set it aside.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/i-don-t-think-anyone-should-be-banned-if-you-don-t-like-a-book-set-it/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [It's not the gods But our own hearts We need to fear. The evil starts Against all odds Not there but here.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/it-s-not-the-gods-but-our-own-hearts-we-need-to-fear-the-evil-starts/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [“But what should I do?' Varun was saying. 'I'm not good for anything.' 'Write a book! Pull a rickshaw! Live! Don't make excuses,' said…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/but-what-should-i-do-varun-was-saying-i-m-not-good-for-anything-write/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [“In a clear brook With joyful haste The whimsical trout Shot past me like an arrow I play the line of the song, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/in-a-clear-brook-with-joyful-haste-the-whimsical-trout-shot-past-me/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [Boredom provides a stronger inclination to write than anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/boredom-provides-a-stronger-inclination-to-write-than-anything/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [I don't think people give Indian society enough credit. We may not like to talk much about things but we do, basically, want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/i-don-t-think-people-give-indian-society-enough-credit-we-may-not/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [The problem with too beautiful a view is that it's alright for the mulling stage. But for the writing stage, you want to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/the-problem-with-too-beautiful-a-view-is-that-it-s-alright-for-the/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [“Romantic retrospect aside, the night spent in the truck is distinctly unpleasant. We are cramped and cold. The much-vaunted heating of the truck is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/romantic-retrospect-aside-the-night-spent-in-the-truck-is-distinctly/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [Is it not love that knows how to make smooth things rough and rough things smooth?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/is-it-not-love-that-knows-how-to-make-smooth-things-rough-and-rough/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [“Well, what do you think? Avanti?" "Avanti," cries everyone, and, after a few quick re-tunings of our instruments, and re-initialisings of our hearts, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/well-what-do-you-think-avanti-avanti-cries-everyone-and-after-a-few/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [Behind every door on every ordinary street, in every hut in every ordinary village in this middling planet of a trivial star, such riches…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/behind-every-door-on-every-ordinary-street-in-every-hut-in-every/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [“Perhaps it is true that for all the evidence of the mirror, one pictures oneself in some deep niche of the mind as forever 18.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/perhaps-it-is-true-that-for-all-the-evidence-of-the-mirror-one/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [What is the difference between my life and my love? One gets me low, the other lets me go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/what-is-the-difference-between-my-life-and-my-love-one-gets-me-low/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) > [“The past is the past, and he can't make amends, only hope that the gain will outlast the damage.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/the-past-is-the-past-and-he-can-t-make-amends-only-hope-that-the-gain/) [Vikram Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) [Explore all 113 Vikram Seth quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/) ## More Am quotes > [I don't own designer clothes, or a sports car, or a huge house, but I am seeing the world, experiencing amazing things, and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roz-savage/i-don-t-own-designer-clothes-or-a-sports-car-or-a-huge-house-but-i-am/) [Roz Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roz-savage/) > [I think I am against stereotype. Generally, Asian guys are more quiet - they study and have a good work ethic. Generally, I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobby-lee/i-think-i-am-against-stereotype-generally-asian-guys-are-more-quiet/) [Bobby Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobby-lee/) > [I am not a depressive person at all, but I reflect a lot on my life, and life in general, from the perspective of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/i-am-not-a-depressive-person-at-all-but-i-reflect-a-lot-on-my-life/) [Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alejandro-gonzalez-inarritu/) > [Any incarnation of 'Batman' I am delighted to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-west/any-incarnation-of-batman-i-am-delighted-to-do/) [Adam West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-west/) > [I am tired of our characters being so incomplete. When do we ever save the day in a film? When does a Latino actor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esai-morales/i-am-tired-of-our-characters-being-so-incomplete-when-do-we-ever-save/) [Esai Morales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esai-morales/) > [I am confident when I take the penalty otherwise I would pass for somebody else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruno-fernandes/i-am-confident-when-i-take-the-penalty-otherwise-i-would-pass-for/) [Bruno Fernandes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruno-fernandes/) > [I am on sabbatical as of right now, been too busy to think of about my OWN needs as of late.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-diamond/i-am-on-sabbatical-as-of-right-now-been-too-busy-to-think-of-about-my/) [Jim Diamond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-diamond/) > [I am strongly opposed to any form of amnesty, including, especially, executive amnesty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-scalise/i-am-strongly-opposed-to-any-form-of-amnesty-including-especially/) [Steve Scalise](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-scalise/) > [I am no different from a lot of people. I am concerned for the future of my children and concerned for the future of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-barnes/i-am-no-different-from-a-lot-of-people-i-am-concerned-for-the-future/) [John Barnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-barnes/) > [I won't be managing the Mets. I am closing the door on managing the Mets and probably everybody else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-torre/i-won-t-be-managing-the-mets-i-am-closing-the-door-on-managing-the/) [Joe Torre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-torre/) > [I know who I am. I know what I represent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alex-cora/i-know-who-i-am-i-know-what-i-represent/) [Alex Cora](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alex-cora/) > [I am fortunate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-westheimer/i-am-fortunate/) [Ruth Westheimer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-westheimer/) > [I will support my party when they are right on an issue, but am not afraid to stand up to party bosses who are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darlene-senger/i-will-support-my-party-when-they-are-right-on-an-issue-but-am-not/) [Darlene Senger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darlene-senger/) > [Acting is what I do with who I am.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-walter/acting-is-what-i-do-with-who-i-am/) [Harriet Walter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-walter/) > [I am a big outliner. For my adult book, 'The Visibles,' I did not outline, and it took me two years to write because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sara-shepard/i-am-a-big-outliner-for-my-adult-book-the-visibles-i-did-not-outline/) [Sara Shepard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sara-shepard/) [Browse all 9,589 Am quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/am/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I realised that I had feelings for men as well as women, at first I was worried and frightened, and there was a certain amount of 'Who am I? Am I a criminal?' and so on. It took me a long time to come to terms with myself. Those were painful years - painful then and painful to look back on.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Vikram Seth" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/when-i-realised-that-i-had-feelings-for-men-as-well-as-women-at-first/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Am" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/when-i-realised-that-i-had-feelings-for-men-as-well-as-women-at-first/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d2/vikram-seth-4208_am_when-i-realised-that-i-had-feelings-for_1837073.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d2/vikram-seth-4208_am_when-i-realised-that-i-had-feelings-for_1837073.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d2/vikram-seth-4208_am_when-i-realised-that-i-had-feelings-for_1837073.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When I realised that I had feelings for men as well as women, at first I was worried and frightened, and…” — Vikram Seth", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Vikram Seth", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikram-seth/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "When I realised that I had...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/when-i-realised-that-i-had-feelings-for-men-as-well-as-women-at-first/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikram-seth/when-i-realised-that-i-had-feelings-for-men-as-well-as-women-at-first/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```