--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: So how can I hold Tobias’s desperation…" description: "\"So how can I hold Tobias’s desperation against him, like I’m better than him, like I’ve never let my own brokenness blind me?\" — Veronica Roth" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fc/veronica-roth-66_blind_so-how-can-i-hold-tobias-s-desperation-a_996097.png" --- # So how can I hold Tobias’s desperation against him, like… ![“So how can I hold Tobias’s desperation against him, like I’m better than him, like I’ve never let my own brokenness blind me?” quote by Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fc/veronica-roth-66_blind_so-how-can-i-hold-tobias-s-desperation-a_996097.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fc/veronica-roth-66_blind_so-how-can-i-hold-tobias-s-desperation-a_996097.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fc/veronica-roth-66_blind_so-how-can-i-hold-tobias-s-desperation-a_996097.png) > “So how can I hold Tobias’s desperation against him, like I’m better than him, like I’ve never let my own brokenness blind me?” [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Holding others' desperation while ignoring one's own brokenness is unfair and blinds judgment. **In simple terms:** Ignore your own brokenness while judging others. Key Takeaway Practice empathy and self‑awareness. Themes empathy self‑awareness judgment vulnerability growth Mood introspective empathetic Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - Therapy - conflict resolution - friendship - leadership Key Concepts Psychology moral philosophy personal development Questions to Reflect On - How does your own pain affect judgments? - What steps foster genuine empathy? A Different Perspective Self‑reflection may be uncomfortable but necessary. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Blind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/blind/) [Brokenness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/brokenness/) [Desperation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desperation/) [Tobias](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tobias/) ## Related quotes > [Desperation is like stealing from the Mafia: you stand a good chance of attracting the wrong attention.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-horton/desperation-is-like-stealing-from-the-mafia-you-stand-a-good-chance/) [Douglas Horton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-horton/) > [“What I feel for you … It’s all-consuming,he breathed, leaning his forehead against mine again. ‘It’s almost debilitating. It’s too much. It’s … I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samantha-young/what-i-feel-for-you-it-s-all-consuming-he-breathed-leaning-his/) [Samantha Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samantha-young/) > [Desperation is like a spilled drink; even if it's delicious, no one will get near it. Cultivate an aura of glamorous unapproachability.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/desperation-is-like-a-spilled-drink-even-if-it-s-delicious-no-one/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [What little reality television I've seen seems to be about economic desperation. Like the marathon dancing of the Great Depression, which should give us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/what-little-reality-television-i-ve-seen-seems-to-be-about-economic/) [Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/) > [Can I ask why you’re throwing knives at cheese?’ ‘Caleb came by to discuss something,’ Tobias says, leaning his head against the wall as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/can-i-ask-why-you-re-throwing-knives-at-cheese-caleb-came-by-to/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“We're sorry for frightening you, Tris,' another voice says, 'but anonymity is integral to our operation. We mean you no harm.' 'Let go of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/we-re-sorry-for-frightening-you-tris-another-voice-says-but-anonymity/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [Not like Tobias, who is almost shy when he smiles, like he is surprised you bothered to look at him in the first place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/not-like-tobias-who-is-almost-shy-when-he-smiles-like-he-is-surprised/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [I just wanted to thank you' he says, his voice low. 'A group of scientists told you that my genes were damaged, that there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-just-wanted-to-thank-you-he-says-his-voice-low-a-group-of-2/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [I don't need to relive my fears anymore. All I need to do now is try to overcome them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-don-t-need-to-relive-my-fears-anymore-all-i-need-to-do-now-is-try/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [She must love me, to worry about me. She must still be capable of love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/she-must-love-me-to-worry-about-me-she-must-still-be-capable-of-love/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [You may have succeeded in shutting down the attack simulation, girl, but it was by luck alone, not skill. I would die of shock…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/you-may-have-succeeded-in-shutting-down-the-attack-simulation-girl/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [If we stay together, I'll have to forgive you over and over again, and if you're still in this, you'll have to forgive me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/if-we-stay-together-i-ll-have-to-forgive-you-over-and-over-again-and/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [What do--" Tobias's voice. Tobias! "Oh my God. Oh--" "Spare me your blubbering, okay? Peter says. "She's not dead; she's just paralyzed. It'll only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/what-do-tobias-s-voice-tobias-oh-my-god-oh-spare-me-your-blubbering/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [All I want is to become someone new. In this case, Tobias Johnson, son of Evelyn Johnson. Tobias Johnson may have lived a dull…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/all-i-want-is-to-become-someone-new-in-this-case-tobias-johnson-son/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“I just wanted to thank you," he says, his voice low. "A group of scientists told you that my genes were damaged, that there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-just-wanted-to-thank-you-he-says-his-voice-low-a-group-of/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) ## More by Veronica Roth > [How strange that something so simple could have been instrumental in my decision to ruin one of my most relationships and friendships, and damage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/how-strange-that-something-so-simple-could-have-been-instrumental-in/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“I was beginning to feel that I had finally found a place to stay, a place that was not so unstable or corrupt or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-was-beginning-to-feel-that-i-had-finally-found-a-place-to-stay-a/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“He acts so tough that he’s probably afraid of marshmallows and really bright sunrises or something. Overcompensating.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/he-acts-so-tough-that-he-s-probably-afraid-of-marshmallows-and-really/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [And is it selfish of me to crave victory, or is it brave?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/and-is-it-selfish-of-me-to-crave-victory-or-is-it-brave/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [You always look like someone's sucked the life right out of you when something fascinates you. -Tris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/you-always-look-like-someone-s-sucked-the-life-right-out-of-you-when/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“We can be mended. We mend each other.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/we-can-be-mended-we-mend-each-other/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [Don’t worry about me handling the pain," I say. "I’ve had a lot of practice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/don-t-worry-about-me-handling-the-pain-i-say-i-ve-had-a-lot-of/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [Soon I will honor my parents by dying as they died. and if all they believed about death was true, soon I will join…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/soon-i-will-honor-my-parents-by-dying-as-they-died-and-if-all-they/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“Mas lembre-se, já agora, que por vezes as pessoas que oprimimos tornam-se mais poderosas do que nós gostaríamos.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/mas-lembre-se-j-agora-que-por-vezes-as-pessoas-que-oprimimos-tornam/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“am aware of how little space there is between us—six inches at most. That space feels charged with electricity. I feel like it should…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/am-aware-of-how-little-space-there-is-between-us-six-inches-at-most/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“Oh, good,” I say, a sour taste in my mouth. “Heroism is what I was focused on. Not, you know, trying not to die.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/oh-good-i-say-a-sour-taste-in-my-mouth-heroism-is-what-i-was-focused/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“Caleb frowns at him. "How old are you, anyway?" "Eighteen." "And you don't think you're too old to be with my little sister?" Tobias…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/caleb-frowns-at-him-how-old-are-you-anyway-eighteen-and-you-don-t/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [What do you think they're going to do to us when they find us guilty?" she says after a few minutes of silence have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/what-do-you-think-they-re-going-to-do-to-us-when-they-find-us-guilty/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“La paz está restringida, eso es libertad”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/la-paz-est-restringida-eso-es-libertad/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [In some parts of the ancient world, the hawk symbolized the sun. Back when I got this, I figured if I always had the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/in-some-parts-of-the-ancient-world-the-hawk-symbolized-the-sun-back/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) [Explore all 1,589 Veronica Roth quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) ## More Blind quotes > [The Rosary is the book of the blind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fulton-j-sheen/the-rosary-is-the-book-of-the-blind/) [Fulton J. Sheen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fulton-j-sheen/) > [Love is so blind, it feels right when it's wrong.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beyonce-knowles/love-is-so-blind-it-feels-right-when-it-s-wrong/) [Beyonce Knowles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beyonce-knowles/) > [... 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Sometimes both are stupid.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-bromberg/the-heart-s-blind-it-s-the-head-that-causes-all-the-trouble-sometimes/) [K. Bromberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/k-bromberg/) > [“In the story of the blind men and the elephant, what’s usually ignored is the fact that each man’s description was correct. What Faye…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathan-hill/in-the-story-of-the-blind-men-and-the-elephant-what-s-usually-ignored/) [Nathan Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathan-hill/) > [My favorite performance would definitely be "Toxic," which was my blind audition song. 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