--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Dear David, I’m sorry, but it’s not going…" description: "\"“Dear David, I’m sorry, but it’s not going to happen the way we planned it. I can’t do it. I know you’re just going to think I’m being a stupid teenage..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b45/veronica-roth-66_abnegation_dear-david-i-m-sorry-but-it-s-not-going_168262.jpg" --- # Dear David, I’m sorry, but it’s not going to happen the… ![“Dear David, I’m sorry, but it’s not going to happen the way we planned it. I can’t do it. I know you’re just going to think I’m being a stupid teenager, but this is my life and if I’m going to be here for years, I have to do this my way. I’ll still be able to do my job from outside of Erudite. So…” quote by Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b45/veronica-roth-66_abnegation_dear-david-i-m-sorry-but-it-s-not-going_168262.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b45/veronica-roth-66_abnegation_dear-david-i-m-sorry-but-it-s-not-going_168262.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b45/veronica-roth-66_abnegation_dear-david-i-m-sorry-but-it-s-not-going_168262.jpg) > ““Dear David, I’m sorry, but it’s not going to happen the way we planned it. I can’t do it. I know you’re just going to think I’m being a stupid teenager, but this is my life and if I’m going to be here for years, I have to do this my way. I’ll still be able to do my job from outside of Erudite. So tomorrow, at the Choosing Ceremony, Andrew and I are going to choose Abnegation together. I hope you’re not angry. I guess even if you are, I won’t hear about it. —Natalie”” [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A young person asserts autonomy over their life choices, even when facing disapproval, emphasizing personal agency. **In simple terms:** Choosing your own path despite others' doubts. Key Takeaway Stand firm in decisions that align with your values. Themes self‑determination family conflict career choices Mood determined anxious hopeful Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - career planning - family discussions - personal development - ethical dilemmas Key Concepts autonomy identity responsibility Questions to Reflect On - What values drive your choices? - How can you communicate them without alienating others? A Different Perspective Resistance may strain relationships and limit collaborative opportunities. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet ## Related quotes > [I realize that the decision might be simple. It will require a great act of selflessness to choose Abnegation, or a great act of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-realize-that-the-decision-might-be-simple-it-will-require-a-great/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“I stare into my own eyes for a moment. Today is the day of the aptitude test that will show me which of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-stare-into-my-own-eyes-for-a-moment-today-is-the-day-of-the/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“I look at myself head-on again. For the first time, the idea of leaving my Abnegation identity behind doesn’t make me nervous; it gives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-look-at-myself-head-on-again-for-the-first-time-the-idea-of-leaving/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“I regret..." Tobias tilts his head, and sighs. "I regret my choice." "What Choice?" "Dauntless," he says. "I was born Abnegation. I was planning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-regret-tobias-tilts-his-head-and-sighs-i-regret-my-choice-what/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“Abnegation say you should only let someone sacrifice himself for you if it's the ultimate way for them to show they love you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/abnegation-say-you-should-only-let-someone-sacrifice-himself-for-you/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [Few people who are born into Abnegation choose to leave it. When they do, we remember.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/few-people-who-are-born-into-abnegation-choose-to-leave-it-when-they/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“no wonder you left." Yeah," i say, rolling my eyes. " It was just because of the food.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/no-wonder-you-left-yeah-i-say-rolling-my-eyes-it-was-just-because-of/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [I knew by the way he looked at her that he held her in a higher regard than he held even himself. No selfishness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-knew-by-the-way-he-looked-at-her-that-he-held-her-in-a-higher/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [Yeah, well," I say, "I left Abnegation because I wasn't selfless enough, no matter how hard I tried to be." "That's not entirely true."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/yeah-well-i-say-i-left-abnegation-because-i-wasn-t-selfless-enough-no/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [She tips her chin up and looks at me with that Abnegation stubbornness I know so well. She may have left them, but they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/she-tips-her-chin-up-and-looks-at-me-with-that-abnegation/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [I will be my undoing If I become my obsession.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-will-be-my-undoing-if-i-become-my-obsession/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“I also remember that my father was one of the people who voted to get the Dauntless out of the factionless sector of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-also-remember-that-my-father-was-one-of-the-people-who-voted-to-get/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“Your Abnegation is showing,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/your-abnegation-is-showing/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“I guess I grew suspicious of both. Power and knowledge," I say. "To the Abnegation, power should only be given to people who don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-guess-i-grew-suspicious-of-both-power-and-knowledge-i-say-to-the/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [And he’s right to say that every faction loses something when it gains a virtue: the Dauntless, brave but cruel; the Erudite, intelligent but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/and-he-s-right-to-say-that-every-faction-loses-something-when-it/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) ## More by Veronica Roth > [How strange that something so simple could have been instrumental in my decision to ruin one of my most relationships and friendships, and damage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/how-strange-that-something-so-simple-could-have-been-instrumental-in/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“I was beginning to feel that I had finally found a place to stay, a place that was not so unstable or corrupt or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-was-beginning-to-feel-that-i-had-finally-found-a-place-to-stay-a/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“He acts so tough that he’s probably afraid of marshmallows and really bright sunrises or something. Overcompensating.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/he-acts-so-tough-that-he-s-probably-afraid-of-marshmallows-and-really/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [And is it selfish of me to crave victory, or is it brave?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/and-is-it-selfish-of-me-to-crave-victory-or-is-it-brave/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [You always look like someone's sucked the life right out of you when something fascinates you. -Tris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/you-always-look-like-someone-s-sucked-the-life-right-out-of-you-when/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“We can be mended. We mend each other.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/we-can-be-mended-we-mend-each-other/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [Don’t worry about me handling the pain," I say. "I’ve had a lot of practice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/don-t-worry-about-me-handling-the-pain-i-say-i-ve-had-a-lot-of/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [Soon I will honor my parents by dying as they died. and if all they believed about death was true, soon I will join…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/soon-i-will-honor-my-parents-by-dying-as-they-died-and-if-all-they/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“Mas lembre-se, já agora, que por vezes as pessoas que oprimimos tornam-se mais poderosas do que nós gostaríamos.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/mas-lembre-se-j-agora-que-por-vezes-as-pessoas-que-oprimimos-tornam/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“am aware of how little space there is between us—six inches at most. That space feels charged with electricity. I feel like it should…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/am-aware-of-how-little-space-there-is-between-us-six-inches-at-most/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“Oh, good,” I say, a sour taste in my mouth. “Heroism is what I was focused on. Not, you know, trying not to die.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/oh-good-i-say-a-sour-taste-in-my-mouth-heroism-is-what-i-was-focused/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“Caleb frowns at him. "How old are you, anyway?" "Eighteen." "And you don't think you're too old to be with my little sister?" Tobias…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/caleb-frowns-at-him-how-old-are-you-anyway-eighteen-and-you-don-t/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [What do you think they're going to do to us when they find us guilty?" she says after a few minutes of silence have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/what-do-you-think-they-re-going-to-do-to-us-when-they-find-us-guilty/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“La paz está restringida, eso es libertad”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/la-paz-est-restringida-eso-es-libertad/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [In some parts of the ancient world, the hawk symbolized the sun. Back when I got this, I figured if I always had the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/in-some-parts-of-the-ancient-world-the-hawk-symbolized-the-sun-back/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) [Explore all 1,589 Veronica Roth quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) ## More Abnegation quotes > [And he’s right to say that every faction loses something when it gains a virtue: the Dauntless, brave but cruel; the Erudite, intelligent but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/and-he-s-right-to-say-that-every-faction-loses-something-when-it/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [We all have to lead our own life, and we only have the one life, and the only people who can live life not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/javier-mar-as/we-all-have-to-lead-our-own-life-and-we-only-have-the-one-life-and/) [Javier Marías](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/javier-mar-as/) > [There is in even the most selfish passion a large element of self-abnegation. It is startling to realize that what we call extreme self-seeking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-hoffer/there-is-in-even-the-most-selfish-passion-a-large-element-of-self/) [Eric Hoffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-hoffer/) > [All women are brought up from the very earliest years in the belief that their ideal of character is the very opposite to that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-stuart-mill/all-women-are-brought-up-from-the-very-earliest-years-in-the-belief/) [John Stuart Mill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-stuart-mill/) > [“I guess I grew suspicious of both. Power and knowledge," I say. "To the Abnegation, power should only be given to people who don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-guess-i-grew-suspicious-of-both-power-and-knowledge-i-say-to-the/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“Your Abnegation is showing,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/your-abnegation-is-showing/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“I also remember that my father was one of the people who voted to get the Dauntless out of the factionless sector of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-also-remember-that-my-father-was-one-of-the-people-who-voted-to-get/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [I will be my undoing If I become my obsession.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-will-be-my-undoing-if-i-become-my-obsession/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [She tips her chin up and looks at me with that Abnegation stubbornness I know so well. She may have left them, but they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/she-tips-her-chin-up-and-looks-at-me-with-that-abnegation/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [Power is violence, its promise, its deed. Power cares nothing for reason, nothing for justice, nothing for compassion. It is, in fact, the singular…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-erikson/power-is-violence-its-promise-its-deed-power-cares-nothing-for-reason/) [Steven Erikson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-erikson/) > [Yeah, well," I say, "I left Abnegation because I wasn't selfless enough, no matter how hard I tried to be." "That's not entirely true."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/yeah-well-i-say-i-left-abnegation-because-i-wasn-t-selfless-enough-no/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [I knew by the way he looked at her that he held her in a higher regard than he held even himself. No selfishness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/i-knew-by-the-way-he-looked-at-her-that-he-held-her-in-a-higher/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“no wonder you left." Yeah," i say, rolling my eyes. " It was just because of the food.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/no-wonder-you-left-yeah-i-say-rolling-my-eyes-it-was-just-because-of/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [Few people who are born into Abnegation choose to leave it. When they do, we remember.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/few-people-who-are-born-into-abnegation-choose-to-leave-it-when-they/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [Nothing is more dissimilar than natural and acquired politeness. The first consists in a willing abnegation of self; the second in a compelled recollection…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lord-chesterfield/nothing-is-more-dissimilar-than-natural-and-acquired-politeness-the/) [Lord Chesterfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lord-chesterfield/) Browse all 82 Abnegation quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Dear David, I’m sorry, but it’s not going to happen the way we planned it. I can’t do it. I know you’re just going to think I’m being a stupid teenager, but this is my life and if I’m going to be here for years, I have to do this my way. I’ll still be able to do my job from outside of Erudite. So tomorrow, at the Choosing Ceremony, Andrew and I are going to choose Abnegation together. I hope you’re not angry. 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