--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Whenever encountering a troublesome…" description: "\"Whenever encountering a troublesome person, do not identify him as being cruel or stupid or rude or anything else like that. Instead, see him as a frig..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95f/vernon-howard-2173_frightened_whenever-encountering-a-troublesome-pers_437739.png" --- # Whenever encountering a troublesome person, do not… ![“Whenever encountering a troublesome person, do not identify him as being cruel or stupid or rude or anything else like that. Instead, see him as a frightened person.” quote by Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95f/vernon-howard-2173_frightened_whenever-encountering-a-troublesome-pers_437739.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95f/vernon-howard-2173_frightened_whenever-encountering-a-troublesome-pers_437739.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95f/vernon-howard-2173_frightened_whenever-encountering-a-troublesome-pers_437739.png) > “Whenever encountering a troublesome person, do not identify him as being cruel or stupid or rude or anything else like that. Instead, see him as a frightened person.” [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Seeing hostile people as scared rather than malicious shifts perspective to empathy. **In simple terms:** Treat angry people as scared. Key Takeaway Respond with compassion, not judgment. Themes empathy perspective compassion Mood reflective calm Type advice psychological When to use this quote - conflict resolution - customer service - parenting - teamwork Key Concepts psychology human behavior Questions to Reflect On - What fears might underlie hostile behavior? - How can you maintain boundaries while empathizing? A Different Perspective Not all aggression stems from fear. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Encountering Troublesome](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/encountering-troublesome-3845754/) [Frightened](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/frightened/) [Frightened Person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/frightened-person-3845753/) [Identify Cruel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/identify-cruel-3845755/) [Persons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/persons/) [Rude](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rude/) [Stupid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stupid/) [Troublesome](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/troublesome/) [Troublesome Person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/troublesome-person-2074785/) ## Related quotes > [There's such a lot of different Annes in me. I sometimes think that is why I'm such a troublesome person. If I was just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/there-s-such-a-lot-of-different-annes-in-me-i-sometimes-think-that-is/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Metellus Numidicus, the censor, acknowledged to the Roman people, in a public oration, that had kind nature allowed us to exist without the help…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-gibbon/metellus-numidicus-the-censor-acknowledged-to-the-roman-people-in-a/) [Edward Gibbon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-gibbon/) > [Parents are untamed, excessive, potentially troublesome creatures; charming to be with for a time, in the main they must lead their own lives, independent…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rose-macaulay/parents-are-untamed-excessive-potentially-troublesome-creatures/) [Rose Macaulay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rose-macaulay/) > [But the idols of the Market Place are the most troublesome of all: idols which have crept into the understanding through their alliances with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-bacon/but-the-idols-of-the-market-place-are-the-most-troublesome-of-all/) [Francis Bacon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-bacon/) > [With this blistering salvo of poetic gutshots Lawson has proven himself Bizarro’s true bard, its mad laureate. Switching from dark whimsy to retina-blast shock…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-robert-johnson/with-this-blistering-salvo-of-poetic-gutshots-lawson-has-proven/) [Jeremy Robert Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-robert-johnson/) > [“There are no fools so troublesome as those that have wit.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-franklin/there-are-no-fools-so-troublesome-as-those-that-have-wit/) [Benjamin Franklin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-franklin/) > [If you are you, 24 hours a day, then you do not have to remember who you are supposed to be in different situations…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-dixon/if-you-are-you-24-hours-a-day-then-you-do-not-have-to-remember-who/) [Bill Dixon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-dixon/) > [Do we leave it to individuals to decide that they are the intelligent ones who should have more kids? And more troublesome, what about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-tanton/do-we-leave-it-to-individuals-to-decide-that-they-are-the-intelligent/) [John Tanton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-tanton/) > [It gets a little bit troublesome when you have something that's overcompressed that shouldn't be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beck/it-gets-a-little-bit-troublesome-when-you-have-something-that-s/) [Beck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beck/) > [Protest beyond the law is not a departure from democracy; it is absolutely essential to it. It is a corrective to the sluggishness of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-zinn/protest-beyond-the-law-is-not-a-departure-from-democracy-it-is/) [Howard Zinn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-zinn/) > [Those who are successfully to lead their fellow-men, should have once possessed the nobler feelings. We have all known individuals whose magnanimity was not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-helps/those-who-are-successfully-to-lead-their-fellow-men-should-have-once/) [Arthur Helps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-helps/) > [Kaffirs are as a rule uncivilized - the convicts even more so. They are troublesome, very dirty and live almost like animals.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/kaffirs-are-as-a-rule-uncivilized-the-convicts-even-more-so-they-are/) [Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/) > [It's sometimes hard to talk about politics and art. Obviously, I have my core beliefs, but I think art is best when it's troublesome…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-greene/it-s-sometimes-hard-to-talk-about-politics-and-art-obviously-i-have/) [Robert Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-greene/) > [Geometry, which should only obey Physics, when united with it sometimes commands it. If it happens that the question which we wish to examine…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-le-rond-d-alembert/geometry-which-should-only-obey-physics-when-united-with-it-sometimes/) [Jean le Rond d'Alembert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-le-rond-d-alembert/) > [Life is such a very troublesome matter, when all is said and done, that it's as well even to take its blessings quietly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-elizabeth-braddon/life-is-such-a-very-troublesome-matter-when-all-is-said-and-done-that/) [Mary Elizabeth Braddon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-elizabeth-braddon/) ## More by Vernon Howard > [“A self-working individual will be sitting around home one day when the startling thought occurs, “Here I am, sitting around, doing nothing of interest,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/a-self-working-individual-will-be-sitting-around-home-one-day-when/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [The terrible immoralities are the cunning ones hiding behind masks of morality, such as exploiting people while pretending to help them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/the-terrible-immoralities-are-the-cunning-ones-hiding-behind-masks-of/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [No one on earth can hurt you, unless you accept the hurt in your own mind. . . The problem is not other people;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/no-one-on-earth-can-hurt-you-unless-you-accept-the-hurt-in-your-own/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [To change what you get you must change who you are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/to-change-what-you-get-you-must-change-who-you-are/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Genuine kindness is not what we do, it is what we are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/genuine-kindness-is-not-what-we-do-it-is-what-we-are/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [When told that man lives in delusion everyone thinks of himself as the exception; hence his delusion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/when-told-that-man-lives-in-delusion-everyone-thinks-of-himself-as/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [It is against the law to permit weak people to steal your strength. Never permit it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/it-is-against-the-law-to-permit-weak-people-to-steal-your-strength/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Men have the illusion of having a duty to make the world spin properly, which is precisely what makes it wobble.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/men-have-the-illusion-of-having-a-duty-to-make-the-world-spin/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Just as surely as distress must follow self-deceit, healing must follow self-honesty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/just-as-surely-as-distress-must-follow-self-deceit-healing-must/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Quit thinking that you must halt before the barrier of inner negativity. You need not. You can crash through... whatever we see a negative…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/quit-thinking-that-you-must-halt-before-the-barrier-of-inner/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [One false idea is that anyone can hurt you. Events can ruin your reputation, take your money, mistreat you, revenge itself upon you, deceive,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/one-false-idea-is-that-anyone-can-hurt-you-events-can-ruin-your/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Don't try to be unafraid. That is impossible. Rather, go ahead while being afraid. That is the entire secret for abolishing fear. The Supermind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/don-t-try-to-be-unafraid-that-is-impossible-rather-go-ahead-while/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [The only way to do something truly important every day is to seek to understand yourself every day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/the-only-way-to-do-something-truly-important-every-day-is-to-seek-to/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Make it absolutely clear to yourself what you want from other people. That is really half the secret for drawing your desire to you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/make-it-absolutely-clear-to-yourself-what-you-want-from-other-people/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [The only reason you do not do great things is because you timidly cling to small things. Will you let loose of small things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/the-only-reason-you-do-not-do-great-things-is-because-you-timidly/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) [Explore all 181 Vernon Howard quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) ## More Frightened quotes > [I'd be more frightened by not using whatever abilities I'd been given. I'd be more frightened by procrastination and laziness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denzel-washington/i-d-be-more-frightened-by-not-using-whatever-abilities-i-d-been-given/) [Denzel Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denzel-washington/) > [“and I actually talked about God, the one who had abandoned me when I was very little, very frightened, and very hurt.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alcoholics-anonymous/and-i-actually-talked-about-god-the-one-who-had-abandoned-me-when-i/) [Alcoholics Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alcoholics-anonymous/) > [I don't think kids have a problem with death. It's us older ones who are nearer to it, that start being frightened.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helena-bonham-carter/i-don-t-think-kids-have-a-problem-with-death-it-s-us-older-ones-who/) [Helena Bonham Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helena-bonham-carter/) > [American imperialism has always been the imperialism that has been frightened of speaking its name. Now it's beginning to do so. In a way,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tariq-ali/american-imperialism-has-always-been-the-imperialism-that-has-been/) [Tariq Ali](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tariq-ali/) > [We all have prejudices to dispel: the need to get away from thinking that 'I' am important and special and 'you' are not, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ingrid-newkirk/we-all-have-prejudices-to-dispel-the-need-to-get-away-from-thinking/) [Ingrid Newkirk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ingrid-newkirk/) > [“She had just started living like a grown-up and she'd never felt more vulnerable, frightened or confused in her life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-eugenides/she-had-just-started-living-like-a-grown-up-and-she-d-never-felt-more/) [Jeffrey Eugenides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-eugenides/) > [Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/megachurches-i-can-t-be-the-only-one-frightened-when-our-houses-of/) [Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/) > [No one seems to have learned, or can remember, the magic words that calm people when they are frightened or threatened: "I'm sorry; I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carol-tavris/no-one-seems-to-have-learned-or-can-remember-the-magic-words-that/) [Carol Tavris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-tavris/) > [Or why it is acceptable to train fast runners and high jumpers but not to breed them. I can think of some answers, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-dawkins/or-why-it-is-acceptable-to-train-fast-runners-and-high-jumpers-but/) [Richard Dawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-dawkins/) > [I can't help it when people are frightened," says Merricat. "I always want to frighten them more.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shirley-jackson/i-can-t-help-it-when-people-are-frightened-says-merricat-i-always/) [Shirley Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shirley-jackson/) > [Soothing touch, whether it be applied to a ruffled cat, a crying infant, or a frightened child, has a universally recognized power to ameliorate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deane-juhan/soothing-touch-whether-it-be-applied-to-a-ruffled-cat-a-crying-infant/) [Deane Juhan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deane-juhan/) > [Sometimes I've been to a party where no one spoke to me for a whole evening. The men, frightened by their wives or sweeites...the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-monroe/sometimes-i-ve-been-to-a-party-where-no-one-spoke-to-me-for-a-whole/) [Marilyn Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-monroe/) > [All your names I and my friend approve of or nearly all as to sense & expression, but I am frightened by their length…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-faraday/all-your-names-i-and-my-friend-approve-of-or-nearly-all-as-to-sense/) [Michael Faraday](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-faraday/) > [I was hit by a car. I almost died. My show was taken away from me. I was frightened.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eileen-brennan/i-was-hit-by-a-car-i-almost-died-my-show-was-taken-away-from-me-i-was/) [Eileen Brennan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eileen-brennan/) > [“She was using the water as she had used the fruit earlier—to calm herself, to assure herself of the possibility of normality. Yet all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/she-was-using-the-water-as-she-had-used-the-fruit-earlier-to-calm/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) [Browse all 1,303 Frightened quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/frightened/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Whenever encountering a troublesome person, do not identify him as being cruel or stupid or rude or anything else like that. Instead, see him as a frightened person.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Vernon Howard" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/whenever-encountering-a-troublesome-person-do-not-identify-him-as/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Frightened" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/whenever-encountering-a-troublesome-person-do-not-identify-him-as/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95f/vernon-howard-2173_frightened_whenever-encountering-a-troublesome-pers_437739.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95f/vernon-howard-2173_frightened_whenever-encountering-a-troublesome-pers_437739.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95f/vernon-howard-2173_frightened_whenever-encountering-a-troublesome-pers_437739.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Whenever encountering a troublesome person, do not identify him as being cruel or stupid or rude or anything…” — Vernon Howard", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Vernon Howard", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Whenever encountering a troublesome person, do...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/whenever-encountering-a-troublesome-person-do-not-identify-him-as/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/whenever-encountering-a-troublesome-person-do-not-identify-him-as/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```