--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: An obvious fact about negative feelings…" description: "\"An obvious fact about negative feelings is often overlooked. They are caused by us, not by exterior happenings. An outside event presents the challenge..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/185/vernon-howard-2173_challenges_an-obvious-fact-about-negative-feelings_796533.png" --- # An obvious fact about negative feelings is often… ![“An obvious fact about negative feelings is often overlooked. They are caused by us, not by exterior happenings. An outside event presents the challenge, but we react to it. So we must attend to the way we take things, not to the things themselves.” quote by Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/185/vernon-howard-2173_challenges_an-obvious-fact-about-negative-feelings_796533.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/185/vernon-howard-2173_challenges_an-obvious-fact-about-negative-feelings_796533.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/185/vernon-howard-2173_challenges_an-obvious-fact-about-negative-feelings_796533.png) > “An obvious fact about negative feelings is often overlooked. They are caused by us, not by exterior happenings. An outside event presents the challenge, but we react to it. So we must attend to the way we take things, not to the things themselves.” [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. We often blame external events for our emotions, but our reactions create the feeling; changing our perception changes the feeling. **In simple terms:** Feelings come from our reactions, not events. Key Takeaway Shift perception, not circumstances. Themes self-awareness emotional intelligence personal responsibility Mood reflective calm Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - stressful workday - conflict with a friend - receiving criticism - unexpected setbacks Key Concepts cognitive reframing mindfulness psychology Questions to Reflect On - How can you notice your automatic reactions? - What alternative view could you choose? A Different Perspective Changing perception is hard when habits are entrenched. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Challenges](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/challenges/) [Emotion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotion/) [Events](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/events/) [Exterior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/exterior/) [Facts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/facts/) [Feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings/) [Feelings Overlooked](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings-overlooked-6106986/) [Gratitude](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gratitude/) [Happenings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/happenings/) [Negative](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/negative/) [Negative feelings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/negative-feelings/) [Obvious](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/obvious/) [Outside Event](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/outside-event-6106987/) [Overlooked](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/overlooked/) [Overlooked Caused](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/overlooked-caused-6106988/) [Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/) ## Related quotes > [We clearly realize that freedom's inner kingdom cannot be touched by exterior attacks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/we-clearly-realize-that-freedom-s-inner-kingdom-cannot-be-touched-by/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [I have negative feelings towards Pat Curran, but I can't let it affect me during the fight. I won't use my anger during the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricio-freire/i-have-negative-feelings-towards-pat-curran-but-i-can-t-let-it-affect/) [Patricio Freire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricio-freire/) > [“Negative feelings are more often alleviated when they are ignored rather than pampered. When you act positively in spite of negative emotions, it tends…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/negative-feelings-are-more-often-alleviated-when-they-are-ignored/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [If you do not feel deserving of happiness, consciously or subconsciously, or if you have accepted the idea that happiness is somehow wrong or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/if-you-do-not-feel-deserving-of-happiness-consciously-or/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [“My emotions, as they were happening, were just signals that I needed to react to the current situation. What I’ve learned is that I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-simsek/my-emotions-as-they-were-happening-were-just-signals-that-i-needed-to/) [Dennis Simsek](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-simsek/) > [People are terrified of other people or difficult projects because they tell themselves that they could fail or be rejected. Failure can lead to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-ellis/people-are-terrified-of-other-people-or-difficult-projects-because/) [Albert Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-ellis/) > [“Changes in the Perception of Self: People who have been traumatized in childhood are often troubled by guilt, shame, and negative feelings about themselves,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzette-boon/changes-in-the-perception-of-self-people-who-have-been-traumatized-in/) [Suzette Boon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzette-boon/) > [The heart is not the source of negative feelings. It is the undisciplined mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joel-randymar/the-heart-is-not-the-source-of-negative-feelings-it-is-the/) [Joel Randymar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joel-randymar/) > [I've been asked a lot about the state of dubstep in America, and everyone wants me to say something controversial, but I have no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-blake/i-ve-been-asked-a-lot-about-the-state-of-dubstep-in-america-and/) [James Blake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-blake/) > [“and confused if someone does not appreciate their niceness. Others often sense this and avoid giving them feedback not only, effectively blocking the nice…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelly-bryson/and-confused-if-someone-does-not-appreciate-their-niceness-others/) [Kelly Bryson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelly-bryson/) > [An actor's life pretty much goes hand in hand with negative feelings like insecurity, envy and self-doubt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arjun-mathur/an-actor-s-life-pretty-much-goes-hand-in-hand-with-negative-feelings/) [Arjun Mathur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arjun-mathur/) > [Negative feelings are typical of learning, and you shouldn't feel like you're stupid when you're frustrated doing something. You might say to yourself, 'I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angela-duckworth/negative-feelings-are-typical-of-learning-and-you-shouldn-t-feel-like/) [Angela Duckworth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/angela-duckworth/) > [“These days, most Americans who are unashamedly prejudiced know better than to say so, except to a secure, like-minded audience, given that many people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/these-days-most-americans-who-are-unashamedly-prejudiced-know-better/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I don't want to sell myself short. You hurt your spouse, not so much by the infidelity, but by the negative feelings about yourself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-zaslow/i-don-t-want-to-sell-myself-short-you-hurt-your-spouse-not-so-much-by/) [Michael Zaslow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-zaslow/) > [“Entropy is the normal state of consciousness—a condition that is neither useful nor enjoyable. To avoid this condition, people are naturally eager to fill…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi/entropy-is-the-normal-state-of-consciousness-a-condition-that-is/) [Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi/) ## More by Vernon Howard > [“A self-working individual will be sitting around home one day when the startling thought occurs, “Here I am, sitting around, doing nothing of interest,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/a-self-working-individual-will-be-sitting-around-home-one-day-when/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [The terrible immoralities are the cunning ones hiding behind masks of morality, such as exploiting people while pretending to help them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/the-terrible-immoralities-are-the-cunning-ones-hiding-behind-masks-of/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [No one on earth can hurt you, unless you accept the hurt in your own mind. . . The problem is not other people;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/no-one-on-earth-can-hurt-you-unless-you-accept-the-hurt-in-your-own/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [To change what you get you must change who you are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/to-change-what-you-get-you-must-change-who-you-are/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Genuine kindness is not what we do, it is what we are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/genuine-kindness-is-not-what-we-do-it-is-what-we-are/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [When told that man lives in delusion everyone thinks of himself as the exception; hence his delusion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/when-told-that-man-lives-in-delusion-everyone-thinks-of-himself-as/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [It is against the law to permit weak people to steal your strength. Never permit it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/it-is-against-the-law-to-permit-weak-people-to-steal-your-strength/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Men have the illusion of having a duty to make the world spin properly, which is precisely what makes it wobble.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/men-have-the-illusion-of-having-a-duty-to-make-the-world-spin/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Just as surely as distress must follow self-deceit, healing must follow self-honesty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/just-as-surely-as-distress-must-follow-self-deceit-healing-must/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Quit thinking that you must halt before the barrier of inner negativity. You need not. You can crash through... whatever we see a negative…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/quit-thinking-that-you-must-halt-before-the-barrier-of-inner/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [One false idea is that anyone can hurt you. Events can ruin your reputation, take your money, mistreat you, revenge itself upon you, deceive,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/one-false-idea-is-that-anyone-can-hurt-you-events-can-ruin-your/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Don't try to be unafraid. That is impossible. Rather, go ahead while being afraid. That is the entire secret for abolishing fear. The Supermind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/don-t-try-to-be-unafraid-that-is-impossible-rather-go-ahead-while/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [The only way to do something truly important every day is to seek to understand yourself every day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/the-only-way-to-do-something-truly-important-every-day-is-to-seek-to/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [Make it absolutely clear to yourself what you want from other people. That is really half the secret for drawing your desire to you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/make-it-absolutely-clear-to-yourself-what-you-want-from-other-people/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) > [The only reason you do not do great things is because you timidly cling to small things. Will you let loose of small things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/the-only-reason-you-do-not-do-great-things-is-because-you-timidly/) [Vernon Howard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) [Explore all 181 Vernon Howard quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/) ## More Challenges quotes > [I know for my wife and I, we always loved the idea of being young parents. It is an incredibly inspiring and challenging job…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-hanson/i-know-for-my-wife-and-i-we-always-loved-the-idea-of-being-young/) [Taylor Hanson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-hanson/) > [Our biggest challenge is to eliminate the popular perception that economists don't have anything useful to say.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-zandi/our-biggest-challenge-is-to-eliminate-the-popular-perception-that/) [Mark Zandi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-zandi/) > [I think books in which people are really happy and things are going well are probably the most challenging novels there are to write,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/i-think-books-in-which-people-are-really-happy-and-things-are-going/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [I think the next 50 years are going to present the human race with challenges that so far exceed the limitations of geopolitical boundaries…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zachary-quinto/i-think-the-next-50-years-are-going-to-present-the-human-race-with/) [Zachary Quinto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zachary-quinto/) > [“Doing the work to transform your dreams into reality is like walking across the earth. It can be that hard, and it can take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dragos-bratasanu/doing-the-work-to-transform-your-dreams-into-reality-is-like-walking/) [Dragos Bratasanu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dragos-bratasanu/) > [I want to be perceived as a guy who played his best in all facets, not just scoring. A guy who loved challenges.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-jordan/i-want-to-be-perceived-as-a-guy-who-played-his-best-in-all-facets-not/) [Michael Jordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-jordan/) > [People in great groups have blinders on. Their work is all they see. They value failures as learning opportunities. They are optimistic, not realistic,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-g-bennis/people-in-great-groups-have-blinders-on-their-work-is-all-they-see/) [Warren G. Bennis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-g-bennis/) > [If, as I anticipate, a wide array of personal, portable information/communication devices becomes increasingly important and widespread for information-intensive users, it will be a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-peters/if-as-i-anticipate-a-wide-array-of-personal-portable-information/) [Tom Peters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-peters/) > [“Two powerful, little words I've learned to use when facing challenges, fears, and doubts— so what? ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-e-goodrich/two-powerful-little-words-i-ve-learned-to-use-when-facing-challenges/) [Richelle E. Goodrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-e-goodrich/) > [It's a challenge to work a character's arc into a format in which you only have a very limited amount of time to grow…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ginnifer-goodwin/it-s-a-challenge-to-work-a-character-s-arc-into-a-format-in-which-you/) [Ginnifer Goodwin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ginnifer-goodwin/) > [I personally think if something's not a challenge, there's no point doing it, because you're not gonna learn much.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-personally-think-if-something-s-not-a-challenge-there-s-no-point/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Men want a challenge, but they want a challenge they can win.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/whitney-gaskell/men-want-a-challenge-but-they-want-a-challenge-they-can-win/) [Whitney Gaskell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/whitney-gaskell/) > [Growing up with a parent in the army, I saw firsthand the challenges our service members face when transitioning to new jobs after time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharice-davids/growing-up-with-a-parent-in-the-army-i-saw-firsthand-the-challenges/) [Sharice Davids](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sharice-davids/) > [Nobody challenges me. I challenge myself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shakuntala-devi/nobody-challenges-me-i-challenge-myself/) [Shakuntala Devi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shakuntala-devi/) > [Challenging is good, like good conversation, yes? Who wants to have dinner with the same old easy listening music sounding friends all the time?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hilton-als/challenging-is-good-like-good-conversation-yes-who-wants-to-have/) [Hilton Als](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hilton-als/) [Browse all 8,851 Challenges quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/challenges/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "An obvious fact about negative feelings is often overlooked. They are caused by us, not by exterior happenings. An outside event presents the challenge, but we react to it. So we must attend to the way we take things, not to the things themselves.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Vernon Howard" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/an-obvious-fact-about-negative-feelings-is-often-overlooked-they-are/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Challenges" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/an-obvious-fact-about-negative-feelings-is-often-overlooked-they-are/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/185/vernon-howard-2173_challenges_an-obvious-fact-about-negative-feelings_796533.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/185/vernon-howard-2173_challenges_an-obvious-fact-about-negative-feelings_796533.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/185/vernon-howard-2173_challenges_an-obvious-fact-about-negative-feelings_796533.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“An obvious fact about negative feelings is often overlooked. They are caused by us, not by exterior…” — Vernon Howard", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Vernon Howard", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vernon-howard/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "An obvious fact about negative feelings...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/an-obvious-fact-about-negative-feelings-is-often-overlooked-they-are/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vernon-howard/an-obvious-fact-about-negative-feelings-is-often-overlooked-they-are/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```