--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: They behave towards their therapists as…" description: "\"“They behave towards their therapists as they perceive themselves to have been treated by their absent parents. They make their therapists feel very fu..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b24/ved-p-varma-47047_betrayal-of-trust_they-behave-towards-their-therapists-as_2835434.jpg" --- # They behave towards their therapists as they perceive… ![“They behave towards their therapists as they perceive themselves to have been treated by their absent parents. They make their therapists feel very fully what it is like to be discarded, ignored, despised, helpless or even unreal and non-existent. (...) What needs to be understood in such…” quote by Ved P. Varma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b24/ved-p-varma-47047_betrayal-of-trust_they-behave-towards-their-therapists-as_2835434.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b24/ved-p-varma-47047_betrayal-of-trust_they-behave-towards-their-therapists-as_2835434.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b24/ved-p-varma-47047_betrayal-of-trust_they-behave-towards-their-therapists-as_2835434.jpg) > ““They behave towards their therapists as they perceive themselves to have been treated by their absent parents. They make their therapists feel very fully what it is like to be discarded, ignored, despised, helpless or even unreal and non-existent. (...) What needs to be understood in such situations is not that the child is perceiving the therapist as the insufficiently caring parent of his past experiences and revenging himself. Beyond this the child is also reversing the original situation. This time the child is identifying himself as the cruel, rejecting but powerful person and it is the therapist who is to feel rejected, hurt, helpless and…to feel the pangs of betrayal of trust and affection. In such situations the therapist cannot become genuinely trustworthy in the child’s eyes until experience has shown that he has the strength to contain the projections of the feelings that the child finds intolerable.”” [Ved P. Varma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ved-p-varma/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Therapists must embody strength and containment, allowing clients to project deep wounds without feeling abandoned. **In simple terms:** Therapists need to hold and contain client projections. Key Takeaway Provide steady, trustworthy presence for wounded clients. Themes therapy projection containment Mood empathetic professional Type clinical educational When to use this quote - counseling sessions - trauma work - clinical supervision Key Concepts psychodynamic therapy trust building Questions to Reflect On - How can therapists balance empathy with emotional containment? - What strategies help maintain therapeutic safety? A Different Perspective Clients may resist if therapist appears too detached. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Absent Parent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/absent-parent-227800/) [Betrayal of trust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayal-of-trust/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Feelings Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feelings-child-1674010/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Perceiving Therapist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/perceiving-therapist-3687629/) [Powerful person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/powerful-person/) [Therapist Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/therapist-feel-2681903/) [Therapists Feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/therapists-feel-3687627/) [Therapists Perceive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/therapists-perceive-3687628/) ## Related quotes > [One thing we would talk about with my therapist is, "Well, you could feel bad about this, but you don't have to. 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We're actually really good friends. But I think it's dangerous to speak negatively to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nia-long/my-son-s-dad-is-committed-and-involved-and-amazing-we-re-actually/) [Nia Long](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nia-long/) > [Absent parents aren't abusive per se. They're neglectful. They love in a very imperfect way. There are parents like that, and they do love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-alire-s-enz/absent-parents-aren-t-abusive-per-se-they-re-neglectful-they-love-in/) [Benjamin Alire Saenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-alire-s-enz/) > [I know what I wanna be and what I don't wanna be, which is an absent parent. I wanna be hands-on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kyle-lowry/i-know-what-i-wanna-be-and-what-i-don-t-wanna-be-which-is-an-absent/) [Kyle Lowry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kyle-lowry/) > [There are recurring elements in popularized fairy tales, such as absent parents, some sort of struggle, a transformation, and a marriage. If you look…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-bernheimer/there-are-recurring-elements-in-popularized-fairy-tales-such-as/) [Kate Bernheimer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-bernheimer/) > [You know, it's a truism that writers for children must still be children themselves, deep down, must still feel childish feelings, and a child's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-know-it-s-a-truism-that-writers-for-children-must-still-be/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“…how overwhelming the feelings of love and terror, the desperate desire to protect. How much stronger would those feelings be if it were her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-atkinson/how-overwhelming-the-feelings-of-love-and-terror-the-desperate-desire/) [Kate Atkinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-atkinson/) > [One thing about having mostly absent parents that I think was perhaps "good" for the development of my intellect/writing is that I was given…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marie-calloway/one-thing-about-having-mostly-absent-parents-that-i-think-was-perhaps/) [Marie Calloway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marie-calloway/) > [“Aunt Mary, you hurt my feelings."  "Well, child, I'm glad to learn your feelings are hurt," returned the aunt. "I'm sure, Carley, that underneath…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zane-grey/aunt-mary-you-hurt-my-feelings-well-child-i-m-glad-to-learn-your/) [Zane Grey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zane-grey/) ## More by Ved P. Varma > [“Winnicott talks about how ‘mothers do in one way or another identify themselves with the baby growing within them, and in this way they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ved-p-varma/winnicott-talks-about-how-mothers-do-in-one-way-or-another-identify/) [Ved P. Varma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ved-p-varma/) > [“Some patients who are profoundly multiply disabled are incontinent, smear faeces, cut themselves, dribble, smell, spit, bite, eat mucous, pull their hair, poke their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ved-p-varma/some-patients-who-are-profoundly-multiply-disabled-are-incontinent/) [Ved P. Varma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ved-p-varma/) > [“Although there are areas of overlap between working with psychotic and borderline children and with severely deprived children, some of the stresses involved are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ved-p-varma/although-there-are-areas-of-overlap-between-working-with-psychotic/) [Ved P. Varma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ved-p-varma/) > [“Hearing directly from a person who has been hurt in a profound way gives the listener a secondary trauma. When a Swedish colleague, Anders…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ved-p-varma/hearing-directly-from-a-person-who-has-been-hurt-in-a-profound-way/) [Ved P. Varma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ved-p-varma/) > [“Every therapist will, over the course of his career, encounter a patient whose problem sufficiently mirrors a difficulty for the therapist which is still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ved-p-varma/every-therapist-will-over-the-course-of-his-career-encounter-a/) [Ved P. Varma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ved-p-varma/) > [“He came to believe that, in addition to getting rid of parts of the self, projective identification was sometimes the only way in which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ved-p-varma/he-came-to-believe-that-in-addition-to-getting-rid-of-parts-of-the/) [Ved P. Varma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ved-p-varma/) > [“If, for example, it is the weak, defenceless, vulnerable part of the self which cannot be tolerated, than this will tend to be split…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ved-p-varma/if-for-example-it-is-the-weak-defenceless-vulnerable-part-of-the-self/) [Ved P. Varma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ved-p-varma/) [Explore all 8 Ved P. Varma quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ved-p-varma/) ## More Betrayal of trust quotes > [No police officer could compel a satyagrahi to give evidence against a person who has confessed to him. A satyagrahi would never be guilty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/no-police-officer-could-compel-a-satyagrahi-to-give-evidence-against/) [Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/) > [“The disturbingly techno-illiterate and cyber-hygienically lackadaisical and shockingly arrogant responses by the National Association of Secretaries of States when we at ICIT repeatedly showed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-scott-senior-fellow-institute-for-critical-infrastructure-technology/the-disturbingly-techno-illiterate-and-cyber-hygienically/) [James Scott, Senior Fellow, Institute for Critical Infrastructure Technology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-scott-senior-fellow-institute-for-critical-infrastructure-technology/) > [Let's call cheating what it is: a complete betrayal of trust.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-behrendt/let-s-call-cheating-what-it-is-a-complete-betrayal-of-trust/) [Greg Behrendt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-behrendt/) > [“There was an unwritten rule that hearing people who knew sign should identify themselves whenever they were around Deaf people. Otherwise the Deaf people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-carter/there-was-an-unwritten-rule-that-hearing-people-who-knew-sign-should/) [Mary Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-carter/) > [What public health really is is a trust. That's why I used the term 'Betrayal of Trust' as the title of my book. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurie-garrett/what-public-health-really-is-is-a-trust-that-s-why-i-used-the-term/) [Laurie Garrett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurie-garrett/) > [There was too much noise. Sirens from police cars and ambulances. Shouts from the crowd on the street eighteen floors below. Traffic from other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-bassingthwaite/there-was-too-much-noise-sirens-from-police-cars-and-ambulances/) [Don Bassingthwaite](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-bassingthwaite/) > [“I had trusted him. I had even trusted him after he betrayed me. I was too open for my own good. I still gave…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacqueline-simon-gunn/i-had-trusted-him-i-had-even-trusted-him-after-he-betrayed-me-i-was/) [Jacqueline Simon Gunn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacqueline-simon-gunn/) > [To my fancy, one looks back on life, it has only two responsibilities, which include all the others: one is the bringing of new…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-adams/to-my-fancy-one-looks-back-on-life-it-has-only-two-responsibilities/) [Henry Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-adams/) > [Espionage, for the most part, involves finding a person who knows something or has something that you can induce them secretly to give to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aldrich-ames/espionage-for-the-most-part-involves-finding-a-person-who-knows/) [Aldrich Ames](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aldrich-ames/) > [“When a leader you are sworn to respect and obey comes out and simply lies about things you know are untrue, and does it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mancour/when-a-leader-you-are-sworn-to-respect-and-obey-comes-out-and-simply/) [Terry Mancour](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mancour/) > [The betrayal of trust carries a heavy taboo.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aldrich-ames/the-betrayal-of-trust-carries-a-heavy-taboo/) [Aldrich Ames](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aldrich-ames/) > [“I think it is our nature to believe evil always has an ugly face,” he said, ignoring my question. “Beauty is supposed to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danielle-l-jensen/i-think-it-is-our-nature-to-believe-evil-always-has-an-ugly-face-he/) [Danielle L. Jensen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danielle-l-jensen/) > [I go to movies expecting to have a whole experience. If I want a movie that doesn't end, I'll go to a French movie.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joss-whedon/i-go-to-movies-expecting-to-have-a-whole-experience-if-i-want-a-movie-2/) [Joss Whedon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joss-whedon/) > [To me, the thing that is worse than death is betrayal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malcolm-x/to-me-the-thing-that-is-worse-than-death-is-betrayal/) [Malcolm X](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malcolm-x/) > [There are three signs of a hypocrite: when he speaks he speaks lies, when he makes a promise he breaks it, and when he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/there-are-three-signs-of-a-hypocrite-when-he-speaks-he-speaks-lies/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) [Browse all 19 Betrayal of trust quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayal-of-trust/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“They behave towards their therapists as they perceive themselves to have been treated by their absent parents. 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