--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When I was first going through my…" description: "\"When I was first going through my separation, someone said to me, 'It will take you half as long as you were in the relationship before you'll feel bet..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be3/uma-thurman-8163_agony_when-i-was-first-going-through-my-separa_1549693.jpg" --- # When I was first going through my separation, someone said… ![“When I was first going through my separation, someone said to me, 'It will take you half as long as you were in the relationship before you'll feel better.' And I wanted to knock them out cold across the table. Because, of course, I was in agony. And the last thing I wanted to think was that I was…” quote by Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be3/uma-thurman-8163_agony_when-i-was-first-going-through-my-separa_1549693.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be3/uma-thurman-8163_agony_when-i-was-first-going-through-my-separa_1549693.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be3/uma-thurman-8163_agony_when-i-was-first-going-through-my-separa_1549693.jpg) > “When I was first going through my separation, someone said to me, 'It will take you half as long as you were in the relationship before you'll feel better.' And I wanted to knock them out cold across the table. Because, of course, I was in agony. And the last thing I wanted to think was that I was going to stay that way for a long time.” [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Healing from separation often feels longer than expected, causing intense emotional pain and resistance to advice. **In simple terms:** Breakups feel endless and painful. Key Takeaway Allow yourself time to heal. Themes breakup healing time emotional pain Mood somber hopeful Type advice personal When to use this quote - divorce - relationship loss - mental health - self‑care Key Concepts psychology self‑compassion Questions to Reflect On - What self‑care steps help you during heartbreak? - How can you reframe the timeline of healing? A Different Perspective Recovery may be slower than predicted. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Agony](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/agony/) [Breakup](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/breakup/) [Cold](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cold/) [Courses](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/courses/) [Divorce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/divorce/) [Feel better](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel-better/) [Feels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feels/) [Firsts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/firsts/) [Going Separation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/going-separation-3121955/) [Half](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/half/) [Lasts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lasts/) [Long](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long/) [Long relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long-relationship/) [Long time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long-time/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Said](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/said/) [Separation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/separation/) [Separation Said](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/separation-said-5789012/) [Tables](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tables/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) [Wanted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wanted/) [Way](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/) ## Related quotes > [You know, Scooter's going to do the first separation burn; I'm going to do the second separation burn.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/duane-g-carey/you-know-scooter-s-going-to-do-the-first-separation-burn-i-m-going-to/) [Duane G. Carey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/duane-g-carey/) > [I had a boyfriend when I was 15, out of high school. It just was with him for a very long time and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camila-morrone/i-had-a-boyfriend-when-i-was-15-out-of-high-school-it-just-was-with/) [Camila Morrone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camila-morrone/) > [A Good Heart And A Good Nature : Are Two Different Issues, A Good Heart Can Win Many Relationships, But A Good Nature Can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/azgraybebly-joslan/a-good-heart-and-a-good-nature-are-two-different-issues-a-good-heart/) [Azgraybebly Joslan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/azgraybebly-joslan/) > [I think anybody who has had a long relationship and has had a really hard time letting go, wants to feel like it's not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rashida-jones/i-think-anybody-who-has-had-a-long-relationship-and-has-had-a-really/) [Rashida Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rashida-jones/) > [The key to a long relationship: Keep the fights clean & the sex dirty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pretty-ladii/the-key-to-a-long-relationship-keep-the-fights-clean-the-sex-dirty/) [Pretty Ladii](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pretty-ladii/) > [“I don’t know if I’ve learned anything yet! I did learn how to have a happy home, but I consider myself fortunate in that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joni-mitchell/i-don-t-know-if-i-ve-learned-anything-yet-i-did-learn-how-to-have-a/) [Joni Mitchell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joni-mitchell/) > [ She \[Virginia Madsen\] and I had a really long relationship after that movie \['Class'\] I love her, and I can imagine it was not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-lowe/she-virginia-madsen-and-i-had-a-really-long-relationship-after-that/) [Rob Lowe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-lowe/) > [Its the reflection of the first love which one you are looking in another one after having long relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin/its-the-reflection-of-the-first-love-which-one-you-are-looking-in/) [Kevin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin/) > [My early childhood equipped me really well for my portrait work: The quick encounter, where you are not going to know the subject for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-leibovitz/my-early-childhood-equipped-me-really-well-for-my-portrait-work-the/) [Annie Leibovitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-leibovitz/) > [I have a very long relationship with America. My mother grew up there and I felt to some extent that I partly belong there.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colin-firth/i-have-a-very-long-relationship-with-america-my-mother-grew-up-there/) [Colin Firth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colin-firth/) > [There's a long relationship between science fiction and the 'novel of ideas,' and I think writers of science fiction are able to draw on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-kitamura/there-s-a-long-relationship-between-science-fiction-and-the-novel-of/) [Katie Kitamura](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-kitamura/) > [There is no question that the US market is the hardest to break into. I believe that the reason for this primarily has to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendy-starland/there-is-no-question-that-the-us-market-is-the-hardest-to-break-into/) [Wendy Starland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendy-starland/) > [The only way a relationship will last is if you see it as a place that you go to give, and not a place…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-robbins/the-only-way-a-relationship-will-last-is-if-you-see-it-as-a-place/) [Tony Robbins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-robbins/) > [I grew up feeling that to be gay was a tragedy. I didn't grow up thinking that it was morally wrong, but I grew…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/i-grew-up-feeling-that-to-be-gay-was-a-tragedy-i-didn-t-grow-up/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [The military has a very long relationship with Hollywood that dates back to the silent film era.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-turse/the-military-has-a-very-long-relationship-with-hollywood-that-dates/) [Nick Turse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-turse/) ## More by Uma Thurman > [I guess somehow I got a reputation of being able to dance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/i-guess-somehow-i-got-a-reputation-of-being-able-to-dance/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [Tall, sandy blonde, with sort of blue eyes, skinny in places, fat in others. An average gal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/tall-sandy-blonde-with-sort-of-blue-eyes-skinny-in-places-fat-in/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [For a writer, they say write what you know. As a performer, you find it in yourself, in your heart. You relate to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/for-a-writer-they-say-write-what-you-know-as-a-performer-you-find-it/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [I love and adore being a mother. Its the greatest gift Ive ever been given. Having children flips the game from being about you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/i-love-and-adore-being-a-mother-its-the-greatest-gift-ive-ever-been/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [Buddhism has had a major effect on who I am and how I think about the world. What I have learned is that I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/buddhism-has-had-a-major-effect-on-who-i-am-and-how-i-think-about-the/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [As one does with a first child, I found out that my baby could roll by hearing the sound of her body hit the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/as-one-does-with-a-first-child-i-found-out-that-my-baby-could-roll-by/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [It's one of the things that weirdly I always used to like about my job: that expressing the emotions of a writer or someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/it-s-one-of-the-things-that-weirdly-i-always-used-to-like-about-my/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [We never left a set until we'd trashed it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/we-never-left-a-set-until-we-d-trashed-it/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [So, you know, parenting is a very intimate and amazing experience and one of the best experiences of my life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/so-you-know-parenting-is-a-very-intimate-and-amazing-experience-and/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [The argument about marriage equality will one day seem as arcane and shocking to us as the fact that Rosa Parks had to get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/the-argument-about-marriage-equality-will-one-day-seem-as-arcane-and/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [More than just romantic comedy, I like romances: drama romance, romance comedy, comedy romance. I also go to the movies to escape. There are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/more-than-just-romantic-comedy-i-like-romances-drama-romance-romance/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [I used to be more paranoid and stressed, constantly worrying about my Plan B. But the truth is I don't have one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/i-used-to-be-more-paranoid-and-stressed-constantly-worrying-about-my/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [But I had a very traditional background as well. My parents are neat people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/but-i-had-a-very-traditional-background-as-well-my-parents-are-neat/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [I constantly wrack my brains, but unfortunately there's no manual for it. It's really important to be a role model. But I always try…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/i-constantly-wrack-my-brains-but-unfortunately-there-s-no-manual-for/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) > [It's taken me a long time to learn to accept the risks and just be willing to try it over and over again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/it-s-taken-me-a-long-time-to-learn-to-accept-the-risks-and-just-be/) [Uma Thurman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) [Explore all 83 Uma Thurman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/) ## More Agony quotes > [Many Republicans have always reminded me of professional WWF wrestlers. They come into the ring all pumped up and acting like they're invincible and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-feig/many-republicans-have-always-reminded-me-of-professional-wwf/) [Paul Feig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-feig/) > [“aaron would not come out aaron entered into agony.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-goldman/aaron-would-not-come-out-aaron-entered-into-agony/) [William Goldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-goldman/) > [ “\[W\]e must learn to accommodate ourselves to the discovery that some of those cunningly-fashioned instruments called human souls have only a very limited range… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-eliot/w-e-must-learn-to-accommodate-ourselves-to-the-discovery-that-some-of/) [George Eliot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-eliot/) > [As we look upon that agony and those tearful prayers, let us not only look with thankfulness; but let that kneeling Saviour teach us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-maclaren/as-we-look-upon-that-agony-and-those-tearful-prayers-let-us-not-only/) [Alexander MacLaren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-maclaren/) > [Love masters agony; the soul that seemed Forsaken feels her present God again And in her Father's arms Contented dies away.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-keble/love-masters-agony-the-soul-that-seemed-forsaken-feels-her-present/) [John Keble](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-keble/) > [I have seen war. I have seen war on land and sea. I have seen blood running from the wounded. I have seen men…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franklin-d-roosevelt/i-have-seen-war-i-have-seen-war-on-land-and-sea-i-have-seen-blood/) [Franklin D. Roosevelt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franklin-d-roosevelt/) > [“Anger was a reliable defense, but one that allowed no chance of final victory. Anger was a medicine but never a cure, briefly numbing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/anger-was-a-reliable-defense-but-one-that-allowed-no-chance-of-final/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [The cure is in the house, not brought by other hands from distant places, but by its own, in agony and blood.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aeschylus/the-cure-is-in-the-house-not-brought-by-other-hands-from-distant/) [Aeschylus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aeschylus/) > [Sometimes, a lie is told in kindness. I don't believe it ever works kindly. The quick pain of truth can pass away, but the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-steinbeck/sometimes-a-lie-is-told-in-kindness-i-don-t-believe-it-ever-works/) [John Steinbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-steinbeck/) > [The young man shivered. He rolled the stock themes of fantasy over in his mind: cars and stockbrokers and commuters, housewives and police, agony…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-gaiman/the-young-man-shivered-he-rolled-the-stock-themes-of-fantasy-over-in/) [Neil Gaiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-gaiman/) > [Being ill like this combines shock - this time I will die - with a pain and agony that are unfamiliar, that wrench me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-brodkey/being-ill-like-this-combines-shock-this-time-i-will-die-with-a-pain/) [Harold Brodkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-brodkey/) > [One often learns more from ten days of agony than ten years of contentment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/merle-shain/one-often-learns-more-from-ten-days-of-agony-than-ten-years-of/) [Merle Shain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/merle-shain/) > [There’s been a problem, a problem eating away at me from the inside out. I’ve become weak, I’ve shown human compassion, and it has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kane/there-s-been-a-problem-a-problem-eating-away-at-me-from-the-inside/) [Kane](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kane/) > [Pay special attention to their agony so I might take some pleasure.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/euripides/pay-special-attention-to-their-agony-so-i-might-take-some-pleasure/) [Euripides](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/euripides/) > [Die, enemies of Ra!" Sekhemet yelled. "Perish in agony!" "She's almost as annoying as you," I told Horus. "Impossible," Horus said. "No one bests…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/die-enemies-of-ra-sekhemet-yelled-perish-in-agony-she-s-almost-as/) [Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/) [Browse all 813 Agony quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/agony/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I was first going through my separation, someone said to me, 'It will take you half as long as you were in the relationship before you'll feel better.' And I wanted to knock them out cold across the table. Because, of course, I was in agony. And the last thing I wanted to think was that I was going to stay that way for a long time.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Uma Thurman" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/when-i-was-first-going-through-my-separation-someone-said-to-me-it/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Agony" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/when-i-was-first-going-through-my-separation-someone-said-to-me-it/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be3/uma-thurman-8163_agony_when-i-was-first-going-through-my-separa_1549693.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be3/uma-thurman-8163_agony_when-i-was-first-going-through-my-separa_1549693.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be3/uma-thurman-8163_agony_when-i-was-first-going-through-my-separa_1549693.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When I was first going through my separation, someone said to me, 'It will take you half as long as you were…” — Uma Thurman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Uma Thurman", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uma-thurman/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "When I was first going through...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/when-i-was-first-going-through-my-separation-someone-said-to-me-it/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uma-thurman/when-i-was-first-going-through-my-separation-someone-said-to-me-it/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```