--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Love is a learned behavior. If you don't…" description: "\"Love is a learned behavior. If you don't learn how to love yourself someone will teach you how to hate yourself.\" — Tony Gaskins" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ec/tony-gaskins-12341_behavior_love-is-a-learned-behavior-if-you-don-t_1771918.png" --- # Love is a learned behavior. If you don't learn how to love… ![“Love is a learned behavior. If you don't learn how to love yourself someone will teach you how to hate yourself.” quote by Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ec/tony-gaskins-12341_behavior_love-is-a-learned-behavior-if-you-don-t_1771918.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ec/tony-gaskins-12341_behavior_love-is-a-learned-behavior-if-you-don-t_1771918.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ec/tony-gaskins-12341_behavior_love-is-a-learned-behavior-if-you-don-t_1771918.png) > “Love is a learned behavior. If you don't learn how to love yourself someone will teach you how to hate yourself.” [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Self‑love is foundational; without it, others can influence self‑esteem negatively. **In simple terms:** Love yourself first to avoid self‑hate. Key Takeaway Cultivate self‑compassion before seeking external validation. Themes self‑love personal growth psychology relationships self‑esteem Mood encouraging motivational Type self‑help psychological When to use this quote - therapy - coaching - daily affirmations Key Concepts mindfulness emotional intelligence behavioral change Questions to Reflect On - How can you practice self‑love daily? - What habits reinforce self‑hate? A Different Perspective Self‑love can be difficult to practice consistently. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Behavior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/behavior/) [Habits](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/habits/) [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/) [Hate you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate-you/) [How to love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/how-to-love/) [Ifs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/) [Learn Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/learn-love/) [Learned behavior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/learned-behavior/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love is](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-is/) [Love Learned](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-learned-287547/) [Love Teach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-teach-414440/) [Love you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-you/) [Love yourself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-yourself/) [Teach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/teach/) ## Related quotes > [Love is and has always been His idea. He came to love us and to teach us how to love. When we do this,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-meyer/love-is-and-has-always-been-his-idea-he-came-to-love-us-and-to-teach/) [Joyce Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-meyer/) > [“One must learn to love.— This is what happens to us in music: first one has to learn to hear a figure and melody…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/one-must-learn-to-love-this-is-what-happens-to-us-in-music-first-one/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [You have to get new knowledge and force yourself to really implement what you've learned. You have to set boundaries in place for yourself.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/you-have-to-get-new-knowledge-and-force-yourself-to-really-implement/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [We need to learn how to love each other. If we cannot do that, then we need to learn to respect one another. If…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yanni/we-need-to-learn-how-to-love-each-other-if-we-cannot-do-that-then-we/) [Yanni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yanni/) > [Imagine how much easier it would be for us to learn how to love if we began with a shared definition.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bell-hooks/imagine-how-much-easier-it-would-be-for-us-to-learn-how-to-love-if-we/) [Bell Hooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bell-hooks/) > [The challenge of life is to learn how to love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/the-challenge-of-life-is-to-learn-how-to-love/) [Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/) > [Whether we learn how to love ourselves and others will depend on the presence of a loving environment. Self-love cannot flourish in isolation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bell-hooks/whether-we-learn-how-to-love-ourselves-and-others-will-depend-on-the/) [Bell Hooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bell-hooks/) > [What is most important subject you have to learn in life? To learn how to love. This is the challenge that life offers you:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-francis/what-is-most-important-subject-you-have-to-learn-in-life-to-learn-how/) [Pope Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-francis/) > [“I must learn to love. And when love is first there, it will soon find an object - a child, a man or a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ebba-haslund/i-must-learn-to-love-and-when-love-is-first-there-it-will-soon-find/) [Ebba Haslund](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ebba-haslund/) > ['Look Daughter, and learn how to love' and He showed me His five open wounds.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gemma-galgani/look-daughter-and-learn-how-to-love-and-he-showed-me-his-five-open/) [Gemma Galgani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gemma-galgani/) > [Harlow would later write, "If monkeys have taught us anything, it's that you've got to learn how to love before you learn how to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonah-lehrer/harlow-would-later-write-if-monkeys-have-taught-us-anything-it-s-that/) [Jonah Lehrer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonah-lehrer/) > [Then there are most of my students who don't know a whole lot about love. You don't know what fun love is. I will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/then-there-are-most-of-my-students-who-don-t-know-a-whole-lot-about/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Maybe it's not too late to learn how to love and forget how to hate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ozzy-osbourne/maybe-it-s-not-too-late-to-learn-how-to-love-and-forget-how-to-hate/) [Ozzy Osbourne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ozzy-osbourne/) > [Marriage is - among other things - a study in contradiction and disappointment, and inside that reality there is space for us to truly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/marriage-is-among-other-things-a-study-in-contradiction-and/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [Sometimes you have to step away from what you love in order to learn how to love it again,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/damien-rice/sometimes-you-have-to-step-away-from-what-you-love-in-order-to-learn/) [Damien Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/damien-rice/) ## More by Tony Gaskins > [Not everyone who started with you will finish with you. Be willing to go without them if you have to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/not-everyone-who-started-with-you-will-finish-with-you-be-willing-to/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [I started understanding that my strength is my gentleness. A leader isn't a dictator, a leader is a servant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/i-started-understanding-that-my-strength-is-my-gentleness-a-leader/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [The doors will be opened to those who are bold enough to knock.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/the-doors-will-be-opened-to-those-who-are-bold-enough-to-knock/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [Invest in yourself first. Expect nothing from no one and be willing to work for everything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/invest-in-yourself-first-expect-nothing-from-no-one-and-be-willing-to/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [A real relationship is like a river; the deeper it gets the less noise it makes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/a-real-relationship-is-like-a-river-the-deeper-it-gets-the-less-noise/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [You can't get it all, unless you give it your all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/you-can-t-get-it-all-unless-you-give-it-your-all/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [ A woman \[shouldn't\] have to give a man her body to get his heart. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/a-woman-shouldn-t-have-to-give-a-man-her-body-to-get-his-heart/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [You can't save a relationship unless both people are equally invested. It takes a joint effort to make it work. One person trying will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/you-can-t-save-a-relationship-unless-both-people-are-equally-invested/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [To be content does not mean that you don't desire more, it means you're thankful for what you have and patient for what's to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/to-be-content-does-not-mean-that-you-don-t-desire-more-it-means-you/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [“If you don't build your dream someone else will hire you to help build theirs.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/if-you-don-t-build-your-dream-someone-else-will-hire-you-to-help/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [Don't make excuses! Make changes!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/don-t-make-excuses-make-changes/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [People hate you for 1 of 3 reasons. 1) They hate themselves 2) They want to be you 3) They see you as a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/people-hate-you-for-1-of-3-reasons-1-they-hate-themselves-2-they-want/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [Separation before elevation. You have to let some people and things go so you can go to the next level.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/separation-before-elevation-you-have-to-let-some-people-and-things-go/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [If you're chasing money you'll be running all your life. If you're chasing dreams you'll be living all your life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/if-you-re-chasing-money-you-ll-be-running-all-your-life-if-you-re/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) > [ Instead of trying to see things my way, I try to see things her \[wife's\] way, and if it honestly makes sense then I… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-gaskins/instead-of-trying-to-see-things-my-way-i-try-to-see-things-her-wife-s/) [Tony Gaskins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) [Explore all 55 Tony Gaskins quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-gaskins/) ## More Behavior quotes > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [By making conscious choices in our behavior and where we focus our attention, we can transform our experience of our body, decrease our biological…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deepak-chopra/by-making-conscious-choices-in-our-behavior-and-where-we-focus-our/) [Deepak Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deepak-chopra/) > [As you begin changing your thinking, start immediately to change your behaviour. Begin to act the part of the person you would like to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/as-you-begin-changing-your-thinking-start-immediately-to-change-your/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“I now know that deep within the human concept is something dark, selfish, and completely willing to do whatever is necessary to support the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-west/i-now-know-that-deep-within-the-human-concept-is-something-dark/) [Melissa West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-west/) > [“We are endowed with genes which code out our reaction to beavers and otters, maybe our reaction to each other as well. We are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-thomas/we-are-endowed-with-genes-which-code-out-our-reaction-to-beavers-and/) [Lewis Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-thomas/) > [The number of poor, and poorly prepared, students who succeed in college and beyond undercuts the simplistic notion that economic or educational disadvantage is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roland-merullo/the-number-of-poor-and-poorly-prepared-students-who-succeed-in/) [Roland Merullo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roland-merullo/) > [To behave creatively in art means behavior with skill; and skill comes from discipline, not derangement. The artist who knows the rules -and proportion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/burne-hogarth/to-behave-creatively-in-art-means-behavior-with-skill-and-skill-comes/) [Burne Hogarth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/burne-hogarth/) > [You don't put milk in chamomile tea - that's disgusting behavior! That's not right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-fraser/you-don-t-put-milk-in-chamomile-tea-that-s-disgusting-behavior-that-s/) [Laura Fraser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-fraser/) > [The laws of thermodynamics, as empirically determined, express the approximate and probable behavior of systems of a great number of particles, or, more precisely,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-willard-gibbs/the-laws-of-thermodynamics-as-empirically-determined-express-the/) [J. Willard Gibbs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-willard-gibbs/) > [I started with the belief that every person who came to the laboratory was free to accept or to reject the dictates of authority.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stanley-milgram/i-started-with-the-belief-that-every-person-who-came-to-the/) [Stanley Milgram](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stanley-milgram/) > [The tipping point is that magic moment when an idea, trend, or social behavior crosses a threshold, tips, and spreads like wildfire.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/malcolm-gladwell/the-tipping-point-is-that-magic-moment-when-an-idea-trend-or-social/) [Malcolm Gladwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/malcolm-gladwell/) > [I think we've told a lot of lies about human behavior through film.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-arquette/i-think-we-ve-told-a-lot-of-lies-about-human-behavior-through-film/) [Patricia Arquette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-arquette/) > [The strongest rebellion may be expressed in quiet, undramatic behavior.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-spock/the-strongest-rebellion-may-be-expressed-in-quiet-undramatic-behavior/) [Benjamin Spock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-spock/) > [The behavior of any bureaucratic organization can best be understood by assuming that it is controlled by a secret cabal of its enemies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-conquest/the-behavior-of-any-bureaucratic-organization-can-best-be-understood/) [Robert Conquest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-conquest/) > [If you want good behavior, don't pay on a commission basis. Our judges aren't paid so much a case. We keep them pretty well…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-munger/if-you-want-good-behavior-don-t-pay-on-a-commission-basis-our-judges/) [Charlie Munger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-munger/) [Browse all 4,218 Behavior quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/behavior/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Love is a learned behavior. 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