--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: No wonder marriages used to hold up…" description: "\"“No wonder marriages used to hold up better. Sherman's parents and their friends had all had plenty of servants, and the servants had worked long hours..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfe/tom-wolfe-2191_long-hours_no-wonder-marriages-used-to-hold-up-bett_1503865.jpg" --- # No wonder marriages used to hold up better. Sherman's… ![“No wonder marriages used to hold up better. Sherman's parents and their friends had all had plenty of servants, and the servants had worked long hours and lived in. If you were unwilling to argue in front of the servants, then there wasn't much opportunity to argue at all.” quote by Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfe/tom-wolfe-2191_long-hours_no-wonder-marriages-used-to-hold-up-bett_1503865.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfe/tom-wolfe-2191_long-hours_no-wonder-marriages-used-to-hold-up-bett_1503865.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfe/tom-wolfe-2191_long-hours_no-wonder-marriages-used-to-hold-up-bett_1503865.jpg) > ““No wonder marriages used to hold up better. Sherman's parents and their friends had all had plenty of servants, and the servants had worked long hours and lived in. If you were unwilling to argue in front of the servants, then there wasn't much opportunity to argue at all.”” [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Wealthy families avoid conflict by keeping servants nearby, limiting opportunities for open argument. **In simple terms:** Rich people avoid arguments by keeping servants around. Key Takeaway Recognize how social structures can suppress honest dialogue. Themes class family dynamics conflict avoidance social hierarchy communication Mood reflective critical observational Type philosophical social commentary When to use this quote - family gatherings - workplace meetings - political debates - community discussions - personal relationships Key Concepts Power dynamics social stratification privilege servitude Questions to Reflect On - How does the presence of servants shape family communication? - What are the costs of avoiding conflict? A Different Perspective If servants are removed, arguments may surface, revealing deeper issues. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Long hours](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long-hours/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Sherman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sherman/) ## Related quotes > [It used to be when we said, ''til death do us part,' death parted us pretty soon. That's why marriages used to last forever.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-mead/it-used-to-be-when-we-said-til-death-do-us-part-death-parted-us/) [Margaret Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-mead/) > [Even men used to hide their marriages because they used to feel people will not like them anymore. It's the industry which has the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dimple-kapadia/even-men-used-to-hide-their-marriages-because-they-used-to-feel/) [Dimple Kapadia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dimple-kapadia/) > [Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/sherman-made-the-terrible-discovery-that-men-make-about-their-fathers-2/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [“Vulgar, but not as vulgar as Louis Vuitton, thought Sherman.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/vulgar-but-not-as-vulgar-as-louis-vuitton-thought-sherman/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [Certainly another Brad Sherman might be annoying, but it isn't something society doesn't know how to deal with. But a new level of human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brad-sherman/certainly-another-brad-sherman-might-be-annoying-but-it-isn-t/) [Brad Sherman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brad-sherman/) > [“There's many a boy here today that looks on war as all glory, but boys, it is all hell. General William T. Sherman, Address, 1880”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-podlaski/there-s-many-a-boy-here-today-that-looks-on-war-as-all-glory-but-boys/) John Podlaski > [Yeah, I've gotten to know the many sides of Richard Sherman as the years have passed. There's a lot going on with that guy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bobby-wagner/yeah-i-ve-gotten-to-know-the-many-sides-of-richard-sherman-as-the/) [Bobby Wagner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bobby-wagner/) > [If there's any questions, I still will shoot him a text or shoot him a call and he'll definitely help me out. That's the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shaquill-griffin/if-there-s-any-questions-i-still-will-shoot-him-a-text-or-shoot-him-a/) [Shaquill Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shaquill-griffin/) > [My name is Sherman J. Alexie Jr., and I am an insomniac.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherman-alexie/my-name-is-sherman-j-alexie-jr-and-i-am-an-insomniac/) [Sherman Alexie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherman-alexie/) > [“The only element still surprising was how rapidly Sherman was moving: for whichever direction I looked, he'd been here already, burning and emptying out.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cynthia-bass/the-only-element-still-surprising-was-how-rapidly-sherman-was-moving/) [Cynthia Bass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cynthia-bass/) > [I don't think anybody in the game over the last several years has made more plays than Richard Sherman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deion-sanders/i-don-t-think-anybody-in-the-game-over-the-last-several-years-has/) [Deion Sanders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deion-sanders/) > [Mr. Peabody adopted Sherman and raised him the best way he knows how. Like with any family, things become complicated, so they both must…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-minkoff/mr-peabody-adopted-sherman-and-raised-him-the-best-way-he-knows-how/) [Rob Minkoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-minkoff/) > [For clothes I usually go to Ben Sherman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-skinner/for-clothes-i-usually-go-to-ben-sherman/) [Frank Skinner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-skinner/) > [“In the life of one man, Lee Sherman, I saw reflected both sides of the Great Paradoz--the need for help and a principled refusal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arlie-russell-hochschild/in-the-life-of-one-man-lee-sherman-i-saw-reflected-both-sides-of-the/) [Arlie Russell Hochschild](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arlie-russell-hochschild/) > [“You and me...its our job to try to bring him back, okay? I don't know if we can but...well...I love that guy. And I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-sheehan-miles/you-and-me-its-our-job-to-try-to-bring-him-back-okay-i-don-t-know-if/) [Charles Sheehan-Miles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-sheehan-miles/) ## More by Tom Wolfe > [“Well … things are beginning to stack up a little,” said Gordo. It was the same old sod-hut drawl. He sounded like the airline…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/well-things-are-beginning-to-stack-up-a-little-said-gordo-it-was-the/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [“Everything in everybody’s life is … significant. And everybody is alert, watching for the meanings.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/everything-in-everybody-s-life-is-significant-and-everybody-is-alert/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > ['Back to Blood' really took it out of me. While I was writing it, I just never went out anywhere, except to the gym.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/back-to-blood-really-took-it-out-of-me-while-i-was-writing-it-i-just/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [In the U.S., the term 'general aviation' means its exact opposite, the way 'public school' does in England. An English public school is private…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/in-the-u-s-the-term-general-aviation-means-its-exact-opposite-the-way/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [That's mostly what the Internet is, just passing the time. But unfortunately you are dealing with words that can have meaning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/that-s-mostly-what-the-internet-is-just-passing-the-time-but/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [“The dark night of fascism is always descending in the United States and yet lands only in Europe.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/the-dark-night-of-fascism-is-always-descending-in-the-united-states/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [“Loneliness wasn't just a state of mind, was it? It was tactile. She could feel it. It was a sixth sense, not in some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/loneliness-wasn-t-just-a-state-of-mind-was-it-it-was-tactile-she/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [it is either make this thing permanent inside of you or forever just climb draggled up into the conning tower every time for one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/it-is-either-make-this-thing-permanent-inside-of-you-or-forever-just/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [I found a great many pieces of punctuation and typography lying around dormant when I came along - and I must say I had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/i-found-a-great-many-pieces-of-punctuation-and-typography-lying/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [“They became desperate for an antidote, such as coziness & color. They tried to bury the obligatory white sofas under Thai-silk throw pillows of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/they-became-desperate-for-an-antidote-such-as-coziness-color-they/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [A cult is a religion with no political power.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/a-cult-is-a-religion-with-no-political-power/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [I don't think journalists should talk about whom they're voting for.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/i-don-t-think-journalists-should-talk-about-whom-they-re-voting-for/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [Even hostile parodies admit from the start that the target has a distinct voice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/even-hostile-parodies-admit-from-the-start-that-the-target-has-a/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [I had always looked down on sociology as this arriviste discipline. It didn't have the noble history of English and history as a subject.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/i-had-always-looked-down-on-sociology-as-this-arriviste-discipline-it/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) > [I read somewhere that writers, as they get older, become more and more perfectionist. Which may be because they think more highly of themselves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-wolfe/i-read-somewhere-that-writers-as-they-get-older-become-more-and-more/) [Tom Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) [Explore all 177 Tom Wolfe quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-wolfe/) ## More Long hours quotes > [“So seemed it to me, as I stood at her helm, and for long hours silently guided the way of this fire-ship on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-melville/so-seemed-it-to-me-as-i-stood-at-her-helm-and-for-long-hours-silently/) [Herman Melville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-melville/) > [“I have heard several people justify working long hours and getting home from work late it night by saying things like, “I have to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-willey/i-have-heard-several-people-justify-working-long-hours-and-getting/) [Daniel Willey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-willey/) > [It's kind of hard to spend long hours trying to help people and then find out that the favorite game of the columnist is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-scott/it-s-kind-of-hard-to-spend-long-hours-trying-to-help-people-and-then/) [Bill Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-scott/) > [It's kind of the yin and yang that fascinate me. That for all the evil men do, there are also people who work obnoxiously…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-gardner/it-s-kind-of-the-yin-and-yang-that-fascinate-me-that-for-all-the-evil/) [Lisa Gardner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-gardner/) > [I'm in production year round. I work long hours. I have a dog and a wife. There's not a lot of available time for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ira-glass/i-m-in-production-year-round-i-work-long-hours-i-have-a-dog-and-a/) [Ira Glass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ira-glass/) > [At my ashram, people work long hours joyfully because they are inspired. When people are involved and joyfully doing something, they usually turn out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaggi-vasudev/at-my-ashram-people-work-long-hours-joyfully-because-they-are/) [Jaggi Vasudev](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaggi-vasudev/) > [“I realize that long hours of reading are not for everyone but I have never ceased to be grateful that they are for me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victor-p-hass/i-realize-that-long-hours-of-reading-are-not-for-everyone-but-i-have/) Victor P. Hass > [I really love learning and working long hours.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bae-doona/i-really-love-learning-and-working-long-hours/) [Bae Doona](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bae-doona/) > [Nothing is so discouraging to an actor than to have to work for long hours upon hours in brightly lighted interior sets.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-wayne/nothing-is-so-discouraging-to-an-actor-than-to-have-to-work-for-long/) [John Wayne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-wayne/) > [“Often, the reason we’re so quick to judge other women with decisions different from our own is that we aren’t completely comfortable with our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christy-wright/often-the-reason-we-re-so-quick-to-judge-other-women-with-decisions/) [Christy Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christy-wright/) > [You're always in a rush, or else you're too exhausted to have a proper conversation. Soon enough, the long hours, the traveling, the broken…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kazuo-ishiguro/you-re-always-in-a-rush-or-else-you-re-too-exhausted-to-have-a-proper/) [Kazuo Ishiguro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kazuo-ishiguro/) > [“One can realise a thing in a single moment, but one loses it in the long hours that follow with leaden feet. ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/one-can-realise-a-thing-in-a-single-moment-but-one-loses-it-in-the/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [The good life may mean doing some things that do not feel comfortable. It may mean sitting long hours just with yourself as you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frances-moore-lapp/the-good-life-may-mean-doing-some-things-that-do-not-feel-comfortable/) [Frances Moore Lappé](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frances-moore-lapp/) > [TV requires a lot more patience. No one's ever like, 'I gotta get up at 5 A.M. and write my stand-up!' 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