--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Nora had been training herself not to…" description: "\"“Nora had been training herself not to think too much about her kids. Not because she wanted to forget them - not at all - but because she wanted to re..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13a/tom-perrotta-3008_loss_nora-had-been-training-herself-not-to-th_642655.jpg" --- # Nora had been training herself not to think too much about… ![“Nora had been training herself not to think too much about her kids. Not because she wanted to forget them - not at all - but because she wanted to remember them more accurately. For the same reason, she tried not to look too often at old photographs or videos...After a while, these scraps…” quote by Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13a/tom-perrotta-3008_loss_nora-had-been-training-herself-not-to-th_642655.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13a/tom-perrotta-3008_loss_nora-had-been-training-herself-not-to-th_642655.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13a/tom-perrotta-3008_loss_nora-had-been-training-herself-not-to-th_642655.jpg) > ““Nora had been training herself not to think too much about her kids. Not because she wanted to forget them - not at all - but because she wanted to remember them more accurately. For the same reason, she tried not to look too often at old photographs or videos...After a while, these scraps hardened into a kind of official narrative that crowded out thousands of equally valid memories, shunting the losers to some cluttered basement storage area in her brain.”” [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A mother suppresses memories of her children, creating a curated narrative that erases less favored recollections, showing how selective memory shapes identity **In simple terms:** Selective memory reshapes identity Key Takeaway Be mindful of what you remember and discard Themes memory identity family dynamics Mood introspective melancholic Type novel psychological When to use this quote - parenting - therapy - writing Key Concepts narrative construction psychology Questions to Reflect On - What memories do you edit? - How does selective recall affect relationships? A Different Perspective Memory editing can distort truth ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Loss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loss/) [Memories](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/memories/) [Memory](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/memory/) [Old Photo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/old-photo/) [Old photographs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/old-photographs/) ## Related quotes > [“Pops gave him a cool stare that settled Tom down - a thing not always easy to do. 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Some of the books were antiques for that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-berenger/i-had-already-done-a-lot-of-research-for-rough-riders-keeping/) [Tom Berenger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-berenger/) > [“I imagine these men sitting in fashion control centers around the world thinking of new ways to torture women, new ways to make them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cristina-garc-a/i-imagine-these-men-sitting-in-fashion-control-centers-around-the/) [Cristina Garcia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cristina-garc-a/) ## More by Tom Perrotta > [I was also known as Frodo because I was an early adopter of 'The Lord of the Rings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/i-was-also-known-as-frodo-because-i-was-an-early-adopter-of-the-lord/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [“As far as I could tell, he earned his hundred thousand a year by wandering the hallway with a Styrofoam cup of coffee, smiling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/as-far-as-i-could-tell-he-earned-his-hundred-thousand-a-year-by/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [“thinking how good it was to be free, away from the baby and from Tom, too, the two people who couldn’t help reminding her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/thinking-how-good-it-was-to-be-free-away-from-the-baby-and-from-tom/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [It's like the human race has been programmed for misery.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/it-s-like-the-human-race-has-been-programmed-for-misery/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [“She took care of evyone with the same no-nonsense air of friendliness and good cheer that made her seem so paradoxically wholesome, as if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/she-took-care-of-evyone-with-the-same-no-nonsense-air-of-friendliness/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [Back then, when everybody thought the world would last forever, nobody had time for anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/back-then-when-everybody-thought-the-world-would-last-forever-nobody/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [“Stan and Rudy are grown men. It's too late to shape their minds, to teach them values and a sense of compassion. You have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/stan-and-rudy-are-grown-men-it-s-too-late-to-shape-their-minds-to/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [I write about kids growing up, I write a lot about schools and parents, and all of my experiences with those things have been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/i-write-about-kids-growing-up-i-write-a-lot-about-schools-and-parents/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [You could say that this book is ripped from the headlines, but that wouldn't be fair. Bret Anthony Johnston's riveting novel picks up where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/you-could-say-that-this-book-is-ripped-from-the-headlines-but-that/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [The interesting part about the writing process is that you can never see all the way to the end, not if something is happening…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/the-interesting-part-about-the-writing-process-is-that-you-can-never/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [“Something had happened to him ove the past couple of years, something to do with being home with Aaron, sinking into the rhythm of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/something-had-happened-to-him-ove-the-past-couple-of-years-something/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [“They were good listeners, worldly yet easily shocked, hungry for details, curious and nonjudgmental at the same time, always happy to give advice, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/they-were-good-listeners-worldly-yet-easily-shocked-hungry-for/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [I read 'The Great Gatsby' in high school and was hypnotized by the beauty of the sentences and moved by the story about the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/i-read-the-great-gatsby-in-high-school-and-was-hypnotized-by-the/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [I no longer believe that just about everything is funny, if viewed from the proper angle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/i-no-longer-believe-that-just-about-everything-is-funny-if-viewed/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) > [“us, Will had invited his camp counselor buddy, Dylan, and Dylan had brought along his roommate, this annoying kid named Sanjay. I mean, it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-perrotta/us-will-had-invited-his-camp-counselor-buddy-dylan-and-dylan-had/) [Tom Perrotta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) [Explore all 141 Tom Perrotta quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-perrotta/) ## More Loss quotes > [A Light exists in Spring Not present on the Year At any other period - When March is scarcely here A Color stands abroad…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-dickinson/a-light-exists-in-spring-not-present-on-the-year-at-any-other-period/) [Emily Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-dickinson/) > [Some minds corrode and grow inactive under the loss of personal liberty; others grow morbid and irritable; but it is the nature of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/washington-irving/some-minds-corrode-and-grow-inactive-under-the-loss-of-personal/) [Washington Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/washington-irving/) > [Age is an accumulation of life and loss. Adulthood is a series of lines crossed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/age-is-an-accumulation-of-life-and-loss-adulthood-is-a-series-of/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [Certainly, it is. Love is love, and loss is loss. We all love, and we all die, and everyone suffers the pain of grieving.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lynsay-sands/certainly-it-is-love-is-love-and-loss-is-loss-we-all-love-and-we-all/) [Lynsay Sands](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lynsay-sands/) > [Shhh.” He put a finger to her lips. “Hear me out. I cannot deny that I would've liked to have made babies with you.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-hoyt/shhh-he-put-a-finger-to-her-lips-hear-me-out-i-cannot-deny-that-i/) [Elizabeth Hoyt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-hoyt/) > [“Good morning,” one of the soldiers said. “I’m Captain Joseph Walker and this is Sergeant James Vanetten. 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But research now reveals…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zig-ziglar/many-companies-have-long-contended-that-stress-in-the-home-causes/) [Zig Ziglar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zig-ziglar/) > [My idea for 'BoneMan's Daughters' came from the loss of my own daughter when she left home to live with a monster at age…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ted-dekker/my-idea-for-boneman-s-daughters-came-from-the-loss-of-my-own-daughter/) [Ted Dekker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ted-dekker/) > [A lost love. 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