--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: when you allow the behavior of others to…" description: "\"“when you allow the behavior of others to control your sense of engagement, you are abdicating control of your own work. There’s a high cost to protect..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/163/todd-henry-15998_engagement_when-you-allow-the-behavior-of-others-to_2207413.jpg" --- # when you allow the behavior of others to control your… ![“when you allow the behavior of others to control your sense of engagement, you are abdicating control of your own work. There’s a high cost to protecting your ego in this way.” quote by Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/163/todd-henry-15998_engagement_when-you-allow-the-behavior-of-others-to_2207413.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/163/todd-henry-15998_engagement_when-you-allow-the-behavior-of-others-to_2207413.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/163/todd-henry-15998_engagement_when-you-allow-the-behavior-of-others-to_2207413.jpg) > ““when you allow the behavior of others to control your sense of engagement, you are abdicating control of your own work. There’s a high cost to protecting your ego in this way.”” [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Letting others dictate your engagement leads to loss of control over your work, and protecting ego is costly. **In simple terms:** Relying on others’ behavior harms your control. Key Takeaway Own your engagement decisions. Themes control ego work autonomy Mood thoughtful analytical Type philosophical motivational When to use this quote - team projects - leadership - personal productivity Key Concepts self‑determination psychology Questions to Reflect On - How do you balance influence and autonomy? - When is it wise to adapt to others? A Different Perspective It may overlook situations where collaboration is essential. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Engagement](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/engagement/) [Habits](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/habits/) ## Related quotes > [We mistakenly assume that bodily survival has a higher precedence than ego survival. This is simply not generally true. Ego will happily destroy the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karl-marlantes/we-mistakenly-assume-that-bodily-survival-has-a-higher-precedence/) [Karl Marlantes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karl-marlantes/) > [Be yourself. Never allow behavior of anyone to ruin your inner peace. Being yourself act as protective shield to guard from any onslaught by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anil-sinha/be-yourself-never-allow-behavior-of-anyone-to-ruin-your-inner-peace/) [Anil Sinha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anil-sinha/) > [“System 2 is also credited with the continuous monitoring of your own behavior—the control that keeps you polite when you are angry, and alert…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-kahneman/system-2-is-also-credited-with-the-continuous-monitoring-of-your-own/) [Daniel Kahneman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-kahneman/) > [If you can control your behavior when everything around you is out of control, you can model for your children a valuable lesson in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-clayson-johnson/if-you-can-control-your-behavior-when-everything-around-you-is-out-of-2/) Jane Clayson Johnson > [“If you can control your behavior when everything around you is out of control, you can model for your children a valuable lesson in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-clayson-johnson/if-you-can-control-your-behavior-when-everything-around-you-is-out-of/) Jane Clayson Johnson > [“You can’t control someone else’s behavior toward you, but you can control your own reaction and how your meaning-making machine construes that behavior.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vishen-lakhiani/you-can-t-control-someone-else-s-behavior-toward-you-but-you-can/) [Vishen Lakhiani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vishen-lakhiani/) > [I can't control what everyone else does, I can't control anybody else's behavior, but I can control mine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shaunie-o-neal/i-can-t-control-what-everyone-else-does-i-can-t-control-anybody-else/) [Shaunie O'Neal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shaunie-o-neal/) > [My happiness isn't connected to my husband's or my boss's or my children's behavior. You have control over your own actions, your own well-being.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-obama/my-happiness-isn-t-connected-to-my-husband-s-or-my-boss-s-or-my/) [Michelle Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-obama/) > [I regret that there aren't more short stories in other magazines. But in a certain way, I think the disappearance of the short-story template…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorin-stein/i-regret-that-there-aren-t-more-short-stories-in-other-magazines-but/) [Lorin Stein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorin-stein/) > [I'm of the philosophy that you wage a campaign of full engagement and you use every tool in the toolbox.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-wilson/i-m-of-the-philosophy-that-you-wage-a-campaign-of-full-engagement-and/) [Rick Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-wilson/) > [“This is one of the harshest after effects of the pandemic that I am witnessing some and experiencing some, a diminished ability to deal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shellen-lubin/this-is-one-of-the-harshest-after-effects-of-the-pandemic-that-i-am/) [Shellen Lubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shellen-lubin/) > [Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/marriage-is-a-three-ring-circus-engagement-ring-wedding-ring-and/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I've been in real estate for a long time and I always try to stay on the edge. I'm really excited about the partnership…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mc-hammer/i-ve-been-in-real-estate-for-a-long-time-and-i-always-try-to-stay-on/) [MC Hammer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mc-hammer/) > [Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/bush-reiterated-his-stand-to-conservatives-opposing-his-decision-on/) [Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/) > [My mother says I didn't open my eyes for eight days after I was born, but when I did, the first thing I saw…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-taylor/my-mother-says-i-didn-t-open-my-eyes-for-eight-days-after-i-was-born/) [Elizabeth Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-taylor/) ## More by Todd Henry > [“perpetual inbox obsession wasn’t an organizational expectation; rather, it was fueled by a deep insecurity that something important was going to happen and that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/perpetual-inbox-obsession-wasn-t-an-organizational-expectation-rather/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“One thing about creative work is that it’s never done. In different words, every person we interviewed said that it was equally true that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/one-thing-about-creative-work-is-that-it-s-never-done-in-different/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“Emptying yourself of your best work isn’t just about checking off tasks on your to-do list; it’s about making steady, critical progress each day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/emptying-yourself-of-your-best-work-isn-t-just-about-checking-off/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“The average man does not know what to do with his life, yet wants another one which will last forever. —ANATOLE FRANCE”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/the-average-man-does-not-know-what-to-do-with-his-life-yet-wants/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“Overtime we learn the art of compromise. The problem is we often compromise the most valuable thing: the fire that drives our best work.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/overtime-we-learn-the-art-of-compromise-the-problem-is-we-often/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“No matter what you say about your priorities, where you spend money and your time will prove them out.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/no-matter-what-you-say-about-your-priorities-where-you-spend-money/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“Make sure that you’re nurturing your process. It’s the only thing you can truly control, and it’s the thing you’ll always have regardless of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/make-sure-that-you-re-nurturing-your-process-it-s-the-only-thing-you/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“Nachmanovitch writes, “It’s great to sit on the shoulders of giants, but don’t let the giants sit on your shoulders. There’s no room for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/nachmanovitch-writes-it-s-great-to-sit-on-the-shoulders-of-giants-but/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“You need to create space for your creative process to thrive rather than expect it to operate in the cracks of your frenetic schedule.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/you-need-to-create-space-for-your-creative-process-to-thrive-rather/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“No matter how successful or skilled you are, you will inevitably fail at many things in your work.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/no-matter-how-successful-or-skilled-you-are-you-will-inevitably-fail/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“Ego is an especially sinister foe because it often comes disguised as justice.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/ego-is-an-especially-sinister-foe-because-it-often-comes-disguised-as/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“You are responsible for… creating value that didn’t exist before you arrived on the scene.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/you-are-responsible-for-creating-value-that-didn-t-exist-before-you/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“Of course, it’s easy to confuse progress with effectiveness. All progress is not true progress. It’s possible to gain ground for many days, weeks,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/of-course-it-s-easy-to-confuse-progress-with-effectiveness-all/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“The only two approaches to dealing with uncertainty are design and default. When you operate by default, your biology, which is wired for comfort,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/the-only-two-approaches-to-dealing-with-uncertainty-are-design-and/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) > [“instill consistent practices into your life that keep you on a true and steady course. An ounce of preventative discipline today is worth a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-henry/instill-consistent-practices-into-your-life-that-keep-you-on-a-true/) [Todd Henry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) [Explore all 40 Todd Henry quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-henry/) ## More Engagement quotes > [My mother says I didn't open my eyes for eight days after I was born, but when I did, the first thing I saw…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-taylor/my-mother-says-i-didn-t-open-my-eyes-for-eight-days-after-i-was-born/) [Elizabeth Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-taylor/) > [Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/bush-reiterated-his-stand-to-conservatives-opposing-his-decision-on/) [Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/) > [I've been in real estate for a long time and I always try to stay on the edge. I'm really excited about the partnership…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mc-hammer/i-ve-been-in-real-estate-for-a-long-time-and-i-always-try-to-stay-on/) [MC Hammer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mc-hammer/) > [Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/marriage-is-a-three-ring-circus-engagement-ring-wedding-ring-and/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“This is one of the harshest after effects of the pandemic that I am witnessing some and experiencing some, a diminished ability to deal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shellen-lubin/this-is-one-of-the-harshest-after-effects-of-the-pandemic-that-i-am/) [Shellen Lubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shellen-lubin/) > [I'm of the philosophy that you wage a campaign of full engagement and you use every tool in the toolbox.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-wilson/i-m-of-the-philosophy-that-you-wage-a-campaign-of-full-engagement-and/) [Rick Wilson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-wilson/) > [I regret that there aren't more short stories in other magazines. But in a certain way, I think the disappearance of the short-story template…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorin-stein/i-regret-that-there-aren-t-more-short-stories-in-other-magazines-but/) [Lorin Stein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorin-stein/) > [The great mistake is to anticipate the outcome of the engagement; you ought not to be thinking of whether it ends in victory or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-lee/the-great-mistake-is-to-anticipate-the-outcome-of-the-engagement-you/) [Bruce Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-lee/) > [“Employee Engagement “Employee Engagement” has become a very hot topic in recent years. The escalating statistics for disengagement are alarming. In 2015, the Gallup…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-c-young/employee-engagement-employee-engagement-has-become-a-very-hot-topic/) [Susan C. Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-c-young/) > [Politics is about the participation and engagement of the wider citizenry - to miss that point would doom us to irrelevance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-blunkett/politics-is-about-the-participation-and-engagement-of-the-wider/) [David Blunkett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-blunkett/) > [I think there should be a reworking of the value structure of art. The value is when the artist makes a first engagement with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lawrence-weiner/i-think-there-should-be-a-reworking-of-the-value-structure-of-art-the/) [Lawrence Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lawrence-weiner/) > [I'm a workaholic and there is no other engagement in my life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anubhav-sinha/i-m-a-workaholic-and-there-is-no-other-engagement-in-my-life/) [Anubhav Sinha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anubhav-sinha/) > [What must be addressed in the most immediate sense is the threat that the emerging police state in the United States poses not to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-giroux/what-must-be-addressed-in-the-most-immediate-sense-is-the-threat-that/) [Henry Giroux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-giroux/) > [“What if we saw differences in cultures, in moral choices, and in belief as reasons to engage people instead of excuses to disengage and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holly-sprink/what-if-we-saw-differences-in-cultures-in-moral-choices-and-in-belief/) [Holly Sprink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holly-sprink/) > [“In our quest for entertainment and instant gratification, we have become detached from the real world and its problems, contributing to the erosion of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/slavoj-i-ek/in-our-quest-for-entertainment-and-instant-gratification-we-have/) [Slavoj Žižek](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/slavoj-i-ek/) [Browse all 836 Engagement quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/engagement/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“when you allow the behavior of others to control your sense of engagement, you are abdicating control of your own work. 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