--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Both men and women today see marriage not…" description: "\"Both men and women today see marriage not as a way of creating character and community but as a way to reach personal life goals. They are looking for ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb3/timothy-keller-240_character_both-men-and-women-today-see-marriage-no_1782147.png" --- # Both men and women today see marriage not as a way of… ![“Both men and women today see marriage not as a way of creating character and community but as a way to reach personal life goals. They are looking for a marriage partner who will 'fulfill their emotional, sexual, and spiritual desires.' And that creates an extreme idealism that in turn leads to a…” quote by Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb3/timothy-keller-240_character_both-men-and-women-today-see-marriage-no_1782147.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb3/timothy-keller-240_character_both-men-and-women-today-see-marriage-no_1782147.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb3/timothy-keller-240_character_both-men-and-women-today-see-marriage-no_1782147.png) > “Both men and women today see marriage not as a way of creating character and community but as a way to reach personal life goals. They are looking for a marriage partner who will 'fulfill their emotional, sexual, and spiritual desires.' And that creates an extreme idealism that in turn leads to a deep pessimism that you will ever find the right person to marry.” [Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-keller/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Marriage is increasingly seen as a means to personal fulfillment rather than character building, leading to unrealistic expectations and pessimism about finding a true partner. **In simple terms:** People treat marriage as a personal goal, causing disappointment. Key Takeaway Seek character and community over personal gain. Themes marriage expectations community individualism Mood reflective critical thoughtful Type philosophical relationship When to use this quote - dating - marriage counseling - personal development - relationship workshops Key Concepts relationship theory idealism pessimism Questions to Reflect On - What does character mean to you in a partnership? - How can you balance personal goals with mutual growth? A Different Perspective Idealistic expectations can ignore practical compatibility. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Character](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/character/) [Community](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/community/) [Creating](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/creating/) [Creating characters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/creating-characters/) [Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) [Emotional](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotional/) [Extremes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/extremes/) [Fulfillment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fulfillment/) [Goal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/goal/) [Idealism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/idealism/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Life goal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life-goal/) [Life goals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life-goals/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [Men and women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men-and-women/) [Personal life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/personal-life/) [Pessimism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pessimism/) [Spiritual](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/spiritual/) [Today](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/) ## Related quotes > [I wasn't looking for another marriage. I had been married before. He is a nice man - a geologist, an Ernest Hemingway type. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-mccartney/i-wasn-t-looking-for-another-marriage-i-had-been-married-before-he-is/) [Linda McCartney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-mccartney/) > [“The point of marriage is not to create a quick commonality by tearing down all boundaries; on the contrary, a good marriage is one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rainer-maria-rilke/the-point-of-marriage-is-not-to-create-a-quick-commonality-by-tearing/) [Rainer Maria Rilke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rainer-maria-rilke/) > [I once read that in any good marriage, one partner is the gardener and the other is the garden. 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And unless you and your partner are happy, that kid's never going to be happy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mila-kunis/in-a-marriage-you-and-your-partner-come-first-and-unless-you-and-your/) [Mila Kunis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mila-kunis/) > [In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-norman-wright/in-marriage-each-partner-is-to-be-an-encourager-rather-than-a-critic/) [H. Norman Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-norman-wright/) > [“One excruciating problem faced by single women-more so in past generations than today-is caused by the unwritten rule of our society that allows men…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-c-sproul-2/one-excruciating-problem-faced-by-single-women-more-so-in-past/) [R.C. Sproul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-c-sproul-2/) > [In a marriage, you and your partner come first.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mila-kunis/in-a-marriage-you-and-your-partner-come-first/) [Mila Kunis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mila-kunis/) > [The marriage partner is not really the problem. No other person can ultimately make you happy. You must learn how to be happy within…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joel-osteen/the-marriage-partner-is-not-really-the-problem-no-other-person-can/) [Joel Osteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joel-osteen/) > [A bilingual marriage, by the way, is a great way to stay together for longer than you normally would because you can't understand each…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/poe-ballantine/a-bilingual-marriage-by-the-way-is-a-great-way-to-stay-together-for/) [Poe Ballantine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/poe-ballantine/) > [Because we live so much of our adult lives as singles, it no longer makes sense to assume that marriage is the only way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-coontz/because-we-live-so-much-of-our-adult-lives-as-singles-it-no-longer/) [Stephanie Coontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-coontz/) > [“Fourth time's the charm," she says to people who ask her what the secret of a happy marriage is, but that's not the way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-hoffman/fourth-time-s-the-charm-she-says-to-people-who-ask-her-what-the/) [Alice Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-hoffman/) > [I don't think that a same-sex marriage is the way God intended it to be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joel-osteen/i-don-t-think-that-a-same-sex-marriage-is-the-way-god-intended-it-to/) [Joel Osteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joel-osteen/) ## More by Timothy Keller > [If you are trying to live a life in accordance with the Bible, the concept and call to justice are inescapable. We do justice…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-keller/if-you-are-trying-to-live-a-life-in-accordance-with-the-bible-the/) [Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-keller/) > [The more you rejoice in your own forgiveness, the quicker you will be to forgive others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-keller/the-more-you-rejoice-in-your-own-forgiveness-the-quicker-you-will-be/) [Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-keller/) > [“Evangelism will come organically in friendship if we don’t let our pride, fears, and pessimism cause us to hide our faith and heart.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-keller/evangelism-will-come-organically-in-friendship-if-we-don-t-let-our/) [Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-keller/) > [“The coming of the messianic King occurs in two stages. 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