---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I cannot live up to my parents’ standards…"
description: "\"“I cannot live up to my parents’ standards – and that makes me feel terrible. I cannot live up to your standards – and that makes me feel terrible. I c..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ed/timothy-j-keller-3733_parenting_i-cannot-live-up-to-my-parents-standards_3204584.jpg"
---

#  I cannot live up to my parents’ standards – and that makes…

![“I cannot live up to my parents’ standards – and that makes me feel terrible. I cannot live up to your standards – and that makes me feel terrible. I cannot live up to society’s standards – and that makes me feel terrible. I cannot live up to other societies’ standards – that makes me feel…” quote by Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ed/timothy-j-keller-3733_parenting_i-cannot-live-up-to-my-parents-standards_3204584.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ed/timothy-j-keller-3733_parenting_i-cannot-live-up-to-my-parents-standards_3204584.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ed/timothy-j-keller-3733_parenting_i-cannot-live-up-to-my-parents-standards_3204584.jpg)

> ““I cannot live up to my parents’ standards – and that makes me feel terrible. I cannot live up to your standards – and that makes me feel terrible. I cannot live up to society’s standards – and that makes me feel terrible. I cannot live up to other societies’ standards – that makes me feel terrible. Perhaps the solution is to set my own standards? But I cannot keep them either – and that makes me feel terrible, unless I set incredibly low standards. Are low standards a solution? Not at all. That makes me feel terrible because I realize I am the type of person who has low standards. Trying to boost our self-esteem by trying to live up to our own standards or someone else’s is a trap. It is not an answer.””

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Feeling terrible when you can't meet external expectations, and setting low personal standards only deepens dissatisfaction.

**In simple terms:** Struggling with expectations and low self‑standards.

Key Takeaway

Create realistic, personal standards and accept imperfection.

Themes

self‑esteem expectations identity mental health growth

Mood

reflective anxious determined

Type

advice philosophical

When to use this quote

- personal goal setting
- therapy sessions
- career planning
- relationship boundaries

Key Concepts

psychology self‑compassion values

Questions to Reflect On

- What standards truly reflect your values?
- How can you balance ambition with self‑acceptance?

A Different Perspective

Low standards may become a self‑fulfilling prophecy, limiting achievement.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Esteem Trying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/esteem-trying-5963279/) [Feel Terrible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feel-terrible/) [Parenting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/) [Parents Standards](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parents-standards-5543017/) [Self esteem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-esteem/) [Set Standards](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/set-standards-351799/) [Type of person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/type-of-person/)

## Related quotes

> [“If you have people who treat you badly in your life, they will be a human shield against people who will treat you well.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stefan-molyneux/if-you-have-people-who-treat-you-badly-in-your-life-they-will-be-a/)

[Stefan Molyneux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stefan-molyneux/)

> [“I’ve chosen the work I want to do. If I find no joy in it then I’m only condemning myself to sixty years of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayn-rand/i-ve-chosen-the-work-i-want-to-do-if-i-find-no-joy-in-it-then-i-m/)

[Ayn Rand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayn-rand/)

> [At a club like Everton, we've always set our standards high.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-duggan/at-a-club-like-everton-we-ve-always-set-our-standards-high/)

[Toni Duggan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-duggan/)

> [It is those who have this imperative demand for the best in their natures, and who will accept nothing short of it, that holds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/orison-swett-marden/it-is-those-who-have-this-imperative-demand-for-the-best-in-their/)

[Orison Swett Marden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/orison-swett-marden/)

> [Good enough never is. Set your standards so high that even the flaws are considered excellent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debbi-fields/good-enough-never-is-set-your-standards-so-high-that-even-the-flaws/)

[Debbi Fields](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debbi-fields/)

> [...because there are no local or State boundaries to the problems of our environment, the Federal Government must play an active, positive role. We…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-m-nixon/because-there-are-no-local-or-state-boundaries-to-the-problems-of-our/)

[Richard M. Nixon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-m-nixon/)

> [You set standards so things can be measured and done at a championship level.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-thibodeau/you-set-standards-so-things-can-be-measured-and-done-at-a/)

[Tom Thibodeau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tom-thibodeau/)

> [I set my standards so high, no one could be harsher on me than I was.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-brown/i-set-my-standards-so-high-no-one-could-be-harsher-on-me-than-i-was/)

[Jim Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-brown/)

> [,i think ppl set their standards to high they always say how they want they next bf/gf to be,we come to finding a imperfect…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ytwahs-gnuoy/i-think-ppl-set-their-standards-to-high-they-always-say-how-they-want/)

[Ytwahs\_gnuoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ytwahs-gnuoy/)

> [Football's about winning and I'm a winner, but you also have to set standards and entertain people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-kamara/football-s-about-winning-and-i-m-a-winner-but-you-also-have-to-set/)

[Chris Kamara](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-kamara/)

> [Deep down weve all constructed an idea of who we should be: how we should look, act, think, feel and be regarded by others.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/senoraroy/deep-down-weve-all-constructed-an-idea-of-who-we-should-be-how-we/)

[Senoraroy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/senoraroy/)

> [It is possible to set your standards too high, which can undermine a man's confidence and ability to perform. Instead of reaching for the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-whitlock/it-is-possible-to-set-your-standards-too-high-which-can-undermine-a/)

[Jason Whitlock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-whitlock/)

> [Do not do what you cannot continue to deliver. For, remember, the world wants to see a continuity of delivery of set standards...!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sujit-lalwani/do-not-do-what-you-cannot-continue-to-deliver-for-remember-the-world/)

[Sujit Lalwani](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sujit-lalwani/)

> [“Ladies, set your standards high. Never lower them.. The day you do, you will get less then what you deserve. Every woman, deserves to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/ladies-set-your-standards-high-never-lower-them-the-day-you-do-you/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Do you keep pace with those around you, or do you decide yourself just how you will live your life? The truth is...only you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-goodier/do-you-keep-pace-with-those-around-you-or-do-you-decide-yourself-just/)

[Steve Goodier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-goodier/)

## More by Timothy J. Keller

> [“The choice is ours. If we want to be sure to experience this vision by sight hereafter, we must know it by faith now.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/the-choice-is-ours-if-we-want-to-be-sure-to-experience-this-vision-by/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“It is worth asking ourselves: Where am I saying “I can’t” but God is saying “You won’t”? Israel’s failure to obey was based on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/it-is-worth-asking-ourselves-where-am-i-saying-i-can-t-but-god-is/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“The same sun that melts wax hardens clay.” In other words, what makes a life “good” is not a particular set of circumstances, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/the-same-sun-that-melts-wax-hardens-clay-in-other-words-what-makes-a/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“Tremendous freedom comes when we can laugh at ourselves and whisper to him, "So! It's been you all along!" In some ways that day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/tremendous-freedom-comes-when-we-can-laugh-at-ourselves-and-whisper/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“Is there anyone or anything that can separate me from Christ’s love for me? And”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/is-there-anyone-or-anything-that-can-separate-me-from-christ-s-love/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“Then, suddenly, the defense comes in with a new witness who can be proved to have been at the scene of the crime! The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/then-suddenly-the-defense-comes-in-with-a-new-witness-who-can-be/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“God’s call to his people (then and now) is to combine spirituality with bravery. True discipleship is radical and risk-taking, because true disciples rely…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/god-s-call-to-his-people-then-and-now-is-to-combine-spirituality-with/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“It needs to be said that faith-journeys are never simply intellectual exercises.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/it-needs-to-be-said-that-faith-journeys-are-never-simply-intellectual/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“The only way to doubt Christianity rightly and fairly is to discern the alternate belief under each of your doubts and then to ask…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/the-only-way-to-doubt-christianity-rightly-and-fairly-is-to-discern/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“Paul is not saying that I must have nothing to do with the people and things of the world. Ironically, if I must have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/paul-is-not-saying-that-i-must-have-nothing-to-do-with-the-people-and/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“Religion is not the place where the problem of man’s egotism is automatically solved. Rather, it is there that the ultimate battle between human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/religion-is-not-the-place-where-the-problem-of-man-s-egotism-is/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“Atheists and agnostics ask for this kind of “proof” for God, but are not alone in holding to strong rationalism. Many Christians claim that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/atheists-and-agnostics-ask-for-this-kind-of-proof-for-god-but-are-not/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“Without socially shared discovered meaning we have no basis for saying to somebody else: “You need to stop doing that!” Created meanings cannot be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/without-socially-shared-discovered-meaning-we-have-no-basis-for/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“Christianity does not agree with the optimistic thinkers who say, “We can fix things if we try hard enough.” Nor does it agree with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/christianity-does-not-agree-with-the-optimistic-thinkers-who-say-we/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

> [“Everything we know in this world is “contingent,” has a cause outside of itself. Therefore the universe, which is just a huge pile of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/everything-we-know-in-this-world-is-contingent-has-a-cause-outside-of/)

[Timothy J. Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

[Explore all 119 Timothy J. Keller quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/)

## More Parenting quotes

> [My mother says I didn't open my eyes for eight days after I was born, but when I did, the first thing I saw…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-taylor/my-mother-says-i-didn-t-open-my-eyes-for-eight-days-after-i-was-born/)

[Elizabeth Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-taylor/)

> [Of all the people who have affected my life and influenced the choices I've made, none has been more important than my father. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teddy-atlas/of-all-the-people-who-have-affected-my-life-and-influenced-the/)

[Teddy Atlas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teddy-atlas/)

> [“William didn't look like he'd be difficult about anything - he was thin and sandy-haired and already wore eyeglasses like his father. Most of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-c-wrede/william-didn-t-look-like-he-d-be-difficult-about-anything-he-was-thin/)

[Patricia C. Wrede](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-c-wrede/)

> [I know for my wife and I, we always loved the idea of being young parents. It is an incredibly inspiring and challenging job…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-hanson/i-know-for-my-wife-and-i-we-always-loved-the-idea-of-being-young/)

[Taylor Hanson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-hanson/)

> [“Conception is the beginning of human life. From the time that an ovum is fertilized a new life begins that is neither that of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/declaration-on-procured-abortion-congregation-for-the-doctrine-of-the-faith-1974/conception-is-the-beginning-of-human-life-from-the-time-that-an-ovum/)

[Declaration on Procured Abortion Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith 1974](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/declaration-on-procured-abortion-congregation-for-the-doctrine-of-the-faith-1974/)

> [Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-children-support-their-parents-or-be-imprisoned/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“As members of the Church, there are things you cannot do. For one, you cannot take a Las Vegas-style vacation. I do not know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-grant-bangerter/as-members-of-the-church-there-are-things-you-cannot-do-for-one-you/)

[William Grant Bangerter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-grant-bangerter/)

> [“That’s all! Now either leave us alone or join us as a father rather than a receiver of sacrifices. You have the choice of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dan-simmons/that-s-all-now-either-leave-us-alone-or-join-us-as-a-father-rather/)

[Dan Simmons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dan-simmons/)

> [(knitting while on a motorcycle) "For several years she knitted in secret (my father would not approve; she was to concentrate on motorcycling and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-zimmermann/knitting-while-on-a-motorcycle-for-several-years-she-knitted-in/)

[Elizabeth Zimmermann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-zimmermann/)

> [My embarrassing confession is that my father is a 'Camelot: The Musical' obsessive. So as a child, when we were going to visit relatives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-chibnall/my-embarrassing-confession-is-that-my-father-is-a-camelot-the-musical/)

[Chris Chibnall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-chibnall/)

> [My parents were not musical, and they were not effervescent people; everything was very quiet. The music that I played was loud; it used…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-mclean/my-parents-were-not-musical-and-they-were-not-effervescent-people/)

[Don McLean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-mclean/)

> [If my child had prejudice in his head, I'd be ashamed. I would see it as my failure as a parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/salman-rushdie/if-my-child-had-prejudice-in-his-head-i-d-be-ashamed-i-would-see-it/)

[Salman Rushdie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/salman-rushdie/)

> [“Yes, the issue was courage. It always had been, even as a kid. Things scared him. He couldn't help it. Noise scared him, dark…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-o-brien/yes-the-issue-was-courage-it-always-had-been-even-as-a-kid-things/)

[Tim O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-o-brien/)

> [“My father called twice and left a voicemail—who does that?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-erickson/my-father-called-twice-and-left-a-voicemail-who-does-that/)

[Megan Erickson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-erickson/)

> [My father longed for a better life for us, and when I was nine he got a job as a heart surgeon in Belfast.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katie-melua/my-father-longed-for-a-better-life-for-us-and-when-i-was-nine-he-got/)

[Katie Melua](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katie-melua/)

[Browse all 55,672 Parenting quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/parenting/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“I cannot live up to my parents’ standards – and that makes me feel terrible. I cannot live up to your standards – and that makes me feel terrible. I cannot live up to society’s standards – and that makes me feel terrible. I cannot live up to other societies’ standards – that makes me feel terrible. Perhaps the solution is to set my own standards? But I cannot keep them either – and that makes me feel terrible, unless I set incredibly low standards. Are low standards a solution? Not at all. That makes me feel terrible because I realize I am the type of person who has low standards. Trying to boost our self-esteem by trying to live up to our own standards or someone else’s is a trap. It is not an answer.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Timothy J. Keller"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/i-cannot-live-up-to-my-parents-standards-and-that-makes-me-feel/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Parenting"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/i-cannot-live-up-to-my-parents-standards-and-that-makes-me-feel/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ed/timothy-j-keller-3733_parenting_i-cannot-live-up-to-my-parents-standards_3204584.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ed/timothy-j-keller-3733_parenting_i-cannot-live-up-to-my-parents-standards_3204584.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ed/timothy-j-keller-3733_parenting_i-cannot-live-up-to-my-parents-standards_3204584.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“I cannot live up to my parents’ standards – and that makes me feel terrible. I cannot live up to your…” — Timothy J. Keller",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Timothy J. Keller",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-j-keller/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“I cannot live up to my...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/i-cannot-live-up-to-my-parents-standards-and-that-makes-me-feel/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-j-keller/i-cannot-live-up-to-my-parents-standards-and-that-makes-me-feel/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
