---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: They are not born reasonable and…"
description: "\"“They are not born reasonable and unselfish; they are born unreasonable and selfish. They want what they want when they want it, and they will have a m..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/868/thomas-w-phelan-46335_child_they-are-not-born-reasonable-and-unselfi_198663.jpg"
---

#  They are not born reasonable and unselfish; they are born…

![“They are not born reasonable and unselfish; they are born unreasonable and selfish. They want what they want when they want it, and they will have a major fit if they don’t get it. Consequently, it is the parent’s job—and the teacher’s job—to help kids gradually learn frustration tolerance. In…” quote by Thomas W. Phelan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/868/thomas-w-phelan-46335_child_they-are-not-born-reasonable-and-unselfi_198663.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/868/thomas-w-phelan-46335_child_they-are-not-born-reasonable-and-unselfi_198663.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/868/thomas-w-phelan-46335_child_they-are-not-born-reasonable-and-unselfi_198663.jpg)

> ““They are not born reasonable and unselfish; they are born unreasonable and selfish. They want what they want when they want it, and they will have a major fit if they don’t get it. Consequently, it is the parent’s job—and the teacher’s job—to help kids gradually learn frustration tolerance. In accomplishing this goal, adults need to be gentle, consistent, decisive, and calm.””

[Thomas W. Phelan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-w-phelan/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Children are naturally selfish and unreasonable; adults must gently teach them to tolerate frustration.

**In simple terms:** Kids start selfish; adults should teach patience gently.

Key Takeaway

Teach patience with calm, consistent guidance.

Themes

parenting education emotional development

Mood

thoughtful instructional

Type

educational psychological

When to use this quote

- classroom management
- home parenting
- conflict resolution
- behavioral coaching

Key Concepts

frustration tolerance gentle discipline consistency

Questions to Reflect On

- How can teachers model calmness?
- What strategies help children handle disappointment?

A Different Perspective

Some children may need more structured interventions.

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[Born Reasonable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/born-reasonable-2081237/) [Born Unreasonable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/born-unreasonable-2081238/) [Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/) [Frustration Tolerance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/frustration-tolerance-2081235/) [Goal Adults](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/goal-adults-2081239/) [Learn Frustration](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/learn-frustration-2081236/)

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