--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: There are people who fantasize about…" description: "\"“There are people who fantasize about suicide, and paradoxically, these fantasies can be soothing because they usually involve either fantasizing about..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/thomas-joiner-151146_bipolar-disorder_there-are-people-who-fantasize-about-sui_1398150.jpg" --- # There are people who fantasize about suicide, and… ![“There are people who fantasize about suicide, and paradoxically, these fantasies can be soothing because they usually involve either fantasizing about others' reactions to one's suicide or imagining how death would be a relief from life's travails. In both cases, an aspect of the fantasy is to…” quote by Thomas Joiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/thomas-joiner-151146_bipolar-disorder_there-are-people-who-fantasize-about-sui_1398150.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/thomas-joiner-151146_bipolar-disorder_there-are-people-who-fantasize-about-sui_1398150.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/thomas-joiner-151146_bipolar-disorder_there-are-people-who-fantasize-about-sui_1398150.jpg) > ““There are people who fantasize about suicide, and paradoxically, these fantasies can be soothing because they usually involve either fantasizing about others' reactions to one's suicide or imagining how death would be a relief from life's travails. In both cases, an aspect of the fantasy is to exert control, either over others' views or toward life's difficulties. The writer A. Alvarez stated, " There people ... for whom the mere idea of suicide is enough; they can continue to function efficiently and even happily provided they know they have their own, specially chosen means of escape always ready..." In her riveting 2008 memoir of bipolar disorder, Manic, Terri Cheney opened the book by stating, "People... don't understand that when you're seriously depressed, suicidal ideation can be the only thing that keeps you alive. Just knowing there's an out--even if it's bloody, even if it's permanent--makes the pain bearable for one more day." This strategy appears to be effective for some people, but only for a while. Over longer periods, fantasizing about death leaves people more depressed and thus at higher risk for suicide, as Eddie Selby, Mike Amestis, and I recently showed in a study on violent daydreaming. A strategy geared toward increased feelings of self-control (fantasizing about the effects of one's suicide) "works" momentarily, but ultimately backfires by undermining feelings of genuine self-control in the long run.”” Thomas Joiner ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Suicidal fantasies can provide temporary relief by offering perceived control, but they ultimately increase depression and risk over time. **In simple terms:** Suicidal fantasies give temporary control but worsen depression long-term. Key Takeaway Seek healthier coping strategies. Themes mental health suicidal ideation control temporary relief long-term risk Mood somber analytical cautious Type Bipolar disorder:1 Death:1 Life:1 Long run:1 Psychology:1 Suicidal-ideation:1 Suicide:1 Suicidal Ideation:1 Suicide Imagining:1 Fantasize Suicide:1 Fantasizing Death:1 Control Fantasizing:1 When to use this quote - therapy - support groups - risk management - personal reflection Key Concepts psychological coping risk assessment clinical observation Questions to Reflect On - How can one replace harmful fantasies with constructive coping? - What role does perceived control play in mental health? A Different Perspective May oversimplify complex mental health experiences. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Bipolar disorder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bipolar-disorder/) [Death](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/death/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [Suicide](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suicide/) ## Related quotes > [Kurt had this dumb suicidal ideation - that's what I called it. I thought if we could live through this, we could live through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/courtney-love/kurt-had-this-dumb-suicidal-ideation-that-s-what-i-called-it-i/) [Courtney Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/courtney-love/) > [“Depression is a funhouse, with suicidal ideation the wavy, distorting mirrors that have you trapped and stumbling from corner to corner in that box…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lily-burana/depression-is-a-funhouse-with-suicidal-ideation-the-wavy-distorting/) [Lily Burana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lily-burana/) > [“Wanting to die (or 'suicidal ideation'as the experts would have it) goes hand in hand with the illness. It is a symptom of severe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sally-brampton/wanting-to-die-or-suicidal-ideation-as-the-experts-would-have-it-goes/) [Sally Brampton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sally-brampton/) > [“People always mean well, but they don’t understand that when you’re seriously depressed, suicidal ideation can be the only thing that keeps you alive.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terri-cheney/people-always-mean-well-but-they-don-t-understand-that-when-you-re/) [Terri Cheney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terri-cheney/) > [“When I was a little boy my daddy told me to sell pots and pans. He said it's good stuff. Makes you LIVE LONGER.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dmitry-dyatlov/when-i-was-a-little-boy-my-daddy-told-me-to-sell-pots-and-pans-he/) [Dmitry Dyatlov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dmitry-dyatlov/) > [“He doesn’t lock the door anymore—not out of courage, but quiet desperation. Each night, he lies there, hollowed and waiting, hoping a stranger might…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-harnisch/he-doesn-t-lock-the-door-anymore-not-out-of-courage-but-quiet/) [Jonathan Harnisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-harnisch/) > [“I have never seen battles quite as terrifyingly beautiful as the ones I fight when my mind splinters and races, to swallow me into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-lyons/i-have-never-seen-battles-quite-as-terrifyingly-beautiful-as-the-ones/) [Nicole Lyons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-lyons/) > [“Even in the darkest abyss of despair, when it feels as though hope has perished, remember this—the pages of life are never finished. Every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-harnisch/even-in-the-darkest-abyss-of-despair-when-it-feels-as-though-hope-has/) [Jonathan Harnisch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-harnisch/) > [“I was tired of being me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-ward/i-was-tired-of-being-me/) [Rachel Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-ward/) > [“I have been waiting for death all my life. I do not mean that I actively wish to die, just that I do not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/i-have-been-waiting-for-death-all-my-life-i-do-not-mean-that-i/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“I will kill myself soon. But until then how do l tame my pain?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonali-deraniyagala/i-will-kill-myself-soon-but-until-then-how-do-l-tame-my-pain/) [Sonali Deraniyagala](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonali-deraniyagala/) ## More Bipolar disorder quotes > [Sometimes labeling is only useful, like with OCD. Once you're labeled you can be treated. On other occasions labeling leads to tyranny, like with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-ronson/sometimes-labeling-is-only-useful-like-with-ocd-once-you-re-labeled/) [Jon Ronson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-ronson/) > [“Creativity is closely associated with bipolar disorder. This condition is unique . Many famous historical figures and artists have had this. Yet they have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/preeti-shenoy/creativity-is-closely-associated-with-bipolar-disorder-this-condition/) [Preeti Shenoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/preeti-shenoy/) > [“Cincinatti was where I learned that running away from your problems has a three-month statute of limitations, a lesson I have found repeatedly to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacy-pershall/cincinatti-was-where-i-learned-that-running-away-from-your-problems/) [Stacy Pershall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacy-pershall/) > [“Suddenly, I’m lighter, only half of who I was.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-m-mullen/suddenly-i-m-lighter-only-half-of-who-i-was/) [Shannon M Mullen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-m-mullen/) > [“The longer we spent on Tarawa the more Sylvia and I came to realize that to live on Tarawa is to experience a visceral…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-maarten-troost/the-longer-we-spent-on-tarawa-the-more-sylvia-and-i-came-to-realize/) [J. Maarten Troost](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-maarten-troost/) > [I was hoping that I could say stuff about mental illness that maybe people didn't know. You know, speak up for bipolar disorder and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-millegan/i-was-hoping-that-i-could-say-stuff-about-mental-illness-that-maybe/) [Eric Millegan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-millegan/) > [“I have never seen battles quite as terrifyingly beautiful as the ones I fight when my mind splinters and races, to swallow me into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-lyons/i-have-never-seen-battles-quite-as-terrifyingly-beautiful-as-the-ones/) [Nicole Lyons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-lyons/) > [When I harnessed its seemingly uncontrollable might, I realized bipolar disorder's powers could be used for good. My diagnosis didn't have to be an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aj-lee/when-i-harnessed-its-seemingly-uncontrollable-might-i-realized/) [AJ Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aj-lee/) > [“James had taken his own life, but the need to do so was not something easily explained. He had the life he wanted: money,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hazel-butler/james-had-taken-his-own-life-but-the-need-to-do-so-was-not-something/) [Hazel Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hazel-butler/) > [“Unrequited love is the only emotion that allows sane people to taste the “life sentence” of someone with bipolar disorder. The longer they hang…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-l-alder/unrequited-love-is-the-only-emotion-that-allows-sane-people-to-taste/) [Shannon L. Alder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-l-alder/) > [“We think that there are people who are normal over here, and then there’s the pathological ones who have depression, anxiety, addiction or schizophrenia…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/we-think-that-there-are-people-who-are-normal-over-here-and-then/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“Joshua had always been able to get away with things—things for which he should never have been forgiven. He was a lot like James…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hazel-butler/joshua-had-always-been-able-to-get-away-with-things-things-for-which/) [Hazel Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hazel-butler/) > [“Worse, Roger erupted into outbursts of uncontrollable rage, without apparent cause. In time I learned that this was one symptom of what therapists formerly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-kahn/worse-roger-erupted-into-outbursts-of-uncontrollable-rage-without/) [Roger Kahn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-kahn/) > [“Bipolar illness, manic depression, manic-depressive illness, manic-depressive psychosis. That’s a nice way of saying you will feel so high that no street drug can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-f-anderson/bipolar-illness-manic-depression-manic-depressive-illness-manic/) Christine F. Anderson > [“Even though I'm sleeping again, everything still feels a little rickety, like I'm here but not quite here, like I'm just a stand-in for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-reed/even-though-i-m-sleeping-again-everything-still-feels-a-little/) [Amy Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-reed/) [Browse all 139 Bipolar disorder quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bipolar-disorder/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“There are people who fantasize about suicide, and paradoxically, these fantasies can be soothing because they usually involve either fantasizing about others' reactions to one's suicide or imagining how death would be a relief from life's travails. In both cases, an aspect of the fantasy is to exert control, either over others' views or toward life's difficulties. The writer A. Alvarez stated, \" There people ... for whom the mere idea of suicide is enough; they can continue to function efficiently and even happily provided they know they have their own, specially chosen means of escape always ready...\" In her riveting 2008 memoir of bipolar disorder, Manic, Terri Cheney opened the book by stating, \"People... don't understand that when you're seriously depressed, suicidal ideation can be the only thing that keeps you alive. Just knowing there's an out--even if it's bloody, even if it's permanent--makes the pain bearable for one more day.\" This strategy appears to be effective for some people, but only for a while. Over longer periods, fantasizing about death leaves people more depressed and thus at higher risk for suicide, as Eddie Selby, Mike Amestis, and I recently showed in a study on violent daydreaming. A strategy geared toward increased feelings of self-control (fantasizing about the effects of one's suicide) \"works\" momentarily, but ultimately backfires by undermining feelings of genuine self-control in the long run.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Thomas Joiner" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-joiner/there-are-people-who-fantasize-about-suicide-and-paradoxically-these/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Bipolar disorder" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-joiner/there-are-people-who-fantasize-about-suicide-and-paradoxically-these/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/thomas-joiner-151146_bipolar-disorder_there-are-people-who-fantasize-about-sui_1398150.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/thomas-joiner-151146_bipolar-disorder_there-are-people-who-fantasize-about-sui_1398150.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/thomas-joiner-151146_bipolar-disorder_there-are-people-who-fantasize-about-sui_1398150.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There are people who fantasize about suicide, and paradoxically, these fantasies can be soothing because…” — Thomas Joiner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Thomas Joiner", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-joiner/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“There are people who fantasize about...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-joiner/there-are-people-who-fantasize-about-suicide-and-paradoxically-these/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-joiner/there-are-people-who-fantasize-about-suicide-and-paradoxically-these/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```