---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: There is no man at once so unselfish and…"
description: "\"There is no man at once so unselfish and selfish as a man in love.\" — Thomas Bailey Aldrich"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/thomas-bailey-aldrich-4098_love_there-is-no-man-at-once-so-unselfish-and_13251.png"
---

#  There is no man at once so unselfish and selfish as a man…

![“There is no man at once so unselfish and selfish as a man in love.” quote by Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/thomas-bailey-aldrich-4098_love_there-is-no-man-at-once-so-unselfish-and_13251.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/thomas-bailey-aldrich-4098_love_there-is-no-man-at-once-so-unselfish-and_13251.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/thomas-bailey-aldrich-4098_love_there-is-no-man-at-once-so-unselfish-and_13251.png)

> “There is no man at once so unselfish and selfish as a man in love.”

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Love creates a paradox where devotion to another amplifies self-interest, making the lover both generous and self‑centered.

**In simple terms:** Love breeds selfishness and selflessness simultaneously.

Key Takeaway

Love intertwines self‑interest with altruism.

Themes

love paradox human nature self‑interest altruism

Mood

passionate conflicted reflective

Type

aphorism observation

When to use this quote

- romantic partnership
- unrequited love
- marriage
- friendship
- family bond

Key Concepts

emotions relationships psychology

Practical Applications

- relationship counseling
- literary analysis

Questions to Reflect On

- How does love reshape personal priorities?
- Can self‑interest be a healthy part of love?

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Man](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/man/) [Man In Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/man-in-love/) [Selfish Man](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/selfish-man/)

## Related quotes

> [“The best way to be unselfish is to be selfish enough to get yourself to a position where you can afford to help many.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohamadi-tapsoba/the-best-way-to-be-unselfish-is-to-be-selfish-enough-to-get-yourself/)

[Mohamadi Tapsoba](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohamadi-tapsoba/)

> [To have a high basketball IQ, I think you have to be unselfish, but also selfish at the same time. To be able to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kyle-lowry/to-have-a-high-basketball-iq-i-think-you-have-to-be-unselfish-but/)

[Kyle Lowry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kyle-lowry/)

> [No one acts more foolishly than a wise man in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dickens/no-one-acts-more-foolishly-than-a-wise-man-in-love/)

[Charles Dickens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dickens/)

> [A man in love mistakes a pimple for a dimple.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/japanese-proverbs/a-man-in-love-mistakes-a-pimple-for-a-dimple/)

Japanese Proverbs

> [“By acting like a man in love, he became a man in love again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/various-writers/by-acting-like-a-man-in-love-he-became-a-man-in-love-again/)

Various Writers

> [“A man in love does not notice the cut of the dress, but rather a face of a beloved.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rhys-bowen/a-man-in-love-does-not-notice-the-cut-of-the-dress-but-rather-a-face/)

[Rhys Bowen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rhys-bowen/)

> [“What kind of love do you want?" he asked gently. "Once I might have said like Donald and Lady Pamela. But they're imaginary. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-ranney/what-kind-of-love-do-you-want-he-asked-gently-once-i-might-have-said/)

[Karen Ranney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-ranney/)

> [An old man in love is like a flower in winter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/portuguese-proverb/an-old-man-in-love-is-like-a-flower-in-winter/)

[Portuguese Proverb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/portuguese-proverb/)

> [“(a man in love speaking) "I don't notice much of anything anymore but Marie." He laid his hand on his chest. "This force," he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-vonnegut/a-man-in-love-speaking-i-don-t-notice-much-of-anything-anymore-but/)

[Kurt Vonnegut](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-vonnegut/)

> [“A man in love once never is out of love again”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eureka-vonmims/a-man-in-love-once-never-is-out-of-love-again/)

Eureka VonMims

> [A man in love is like a clipped coupon - it's time to cash in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mae-west/a-man-in-love-is-like-a-clipped-coupon-it-s-time-to-cash-in/)

[Mae West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mae-west/)

> [When my father made 'Jean de Florette' and 'Manon des Sources' back to back, everybody said, 'Why two movies?' But you need two movies…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-langmann/when-my-father-made-jean-de-florette-and-manon-des-sources-back-to/)

[Thomas Langmann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-langmann/)

> [There is none of my uncle's marks upon you; he taught me how to know a man in love; in which cage of rushes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/there-is-none-of-my-uncle-s-marks-upon-you-he-taught-me-how-to-know-a/)

[William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/)

> [A man in love can do extraordinary things, I dont care if youre an angel, youre my angel, and I wont let you go](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-man-in-love-can-do-extraordinary-things-i-dont-care-if-youre-an/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“But it is easy to call a man in love a mad man.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brendan-connell/but-it-is-easy-to-call-a-man-in-love-a-mad-man/)

Brendan Connell

## More by Thomas Bailey Aldrich

> [No bird has ever uttered note That was not in some first bird's throat; Since Eden's freshness and man's fall No rose has been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/no-bird-has-ever-uttered-note-that-was-not-in-some-first-bird-s/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [I have frequently noticed how circumstances conspire to help a man, or a boy, when he has thoroughly resolved on doing a thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/i-have-frequently-noticed-how-circumstances-conspire-to-help-a-man-or/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [Everywhere on the Continent, the tourist is looked upon as a bird to be plucked, and presently the bird himself feebly comes to regard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/everywhere-on-the-continent-the-tourist-is-looked-upon-as-a-bird-to/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [Imagine all human beings swept off the face of the earth, excepting one man. Imagine this man in some vast city, New York or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/imagine-all-human-beings-swept-off-the-face-of-the-earth-excepting/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [The possession of gold has ruined fewer men than the lack of it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/the-possession-of-gold-has-ruined-fewer-men-than-the-lack-of-it/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [“..Fell over the prostrate steersman, and there we all lay in a heep, two or three of us quite picturesque with the nosebleed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/fell-over-the-prostrate-steersman-and-there-we-all-lay-in-a-heep-two/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [A man should have duties outside of himself; without them, he is a mere balloon, inflated with thin egotism and drifting nowhere.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/a-man-should-have-duties-outside-of-himself-without-them-he-is-a-mere/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [Great thoughts in crude, unshapely verse set forth lose half their preciousness, and ever must, unless the diamond with its own rich dust be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/great-thoughts-in-crude-unshapely-verse-set-forth-lose-half-their/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [So I sit there kicked my heels, thinking about New Orleans, and watching a morbid blue-bottle fly attempt to commit suicide by butting his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/so-i-sit-there-kicked-my-heels-thinking-about-new-orleans-and/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [What is more cheerful, now, in the fall of the year, than an open-wood-fire? Do you hear those little chirps and twitters coming out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/what-is-more-cheerful-now-in-the-fall-of-the-year-than-an-open-wood/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [Decoration Day is the most beautiful of our national holidays… The grim cannon have turned into palm branches, and the shell and shrapnel into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/decoration-day-is-the-most-beautiful-of-our-national-holidays-the/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [Famous old houses seem to have an intuitive perception of the value of corner lots. If it is a possible thing, they always set…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/famous-old-houses-seem-to-have-an-intuitive-perception-of-the-value/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [Every man has within himself a gold mine whose riches are limited only by his own industry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/every-man-has-within-himself-a-gold-mine-whose-riches-are-limited/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [The fate of the worm refutes the pretended ethical teaching of the proverb, which assumes to illustrate the advantage of early rising and does…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/the-fate-of-the-worm-refutes-the-pretended-ethical-teaching-of-the/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

> [Sorrow itself is not so hard to bear As the thought of sorrow coming. Airy ghosts, That work no harm, do terrify us more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/sorrow-itself-is-not-so-hard-to-bear-as-the-thought-of-sorrow-coming/)

[Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

[Explore all 116 Thomas Bailey Aldrich quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/)

## More Love quotes

> [Whatever meaning 'Annie's Song' had for me on a personal level, there was also a larger context. It could just as easily have been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-denver/whatever-meaning-annie-s-song-had-for-me-on-a-personal-level-there/)

[John Denver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-denver/)

> [Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-full-of-change-that-s-how-we-learn-and-grow/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I need a bath." He chuckled. "You smell of smoke, as do I." The duke turned, leaning heavily on his cane. "Jameson, open the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-hawkins/i-need-a-bath-he-chuckled-you-smell-of-smoke-as-do-i-the-duke-turned/)

[Karen Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-hawkins/)

> [I love going to Columbia, Missouri. That is a really underrated campus. It shocked me when I went there because I really didn't know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kirk-herbstreit/i-love-going-to-columbia-missouri-that-is-a-really-underrated-campus/)

[Kirk Herbstreit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kirk-herbstreit/)

> [Life works most perfectly when a reciprocal love relationship is in place between man and God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beth-moore/life-works-most-perfectly-when-a-reciprocal-love-relationship-is-in/)

[Beth Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beth-moore/)

> [We talk to God--that is prayer; God talks to us--that is inspiration.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-emilie-cady/we-talk-to-god-that-is-prayer-god-talks-to-us-that-is-inspiration/)

[H. Emilie Cady](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-emilie-cady/)

> [I fell in love with social work, and that was my undoing as a poet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-rakosi/i-fell-in-love-with-social-work-and-that-was-my-undoing-as-a-poet/)

[Carl Rakosi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-rakosi/)

> [You cant be controlling in improv.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-walsh/you-cant-be-controlling-in-improv/)

[Matt Walsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-walsh/)

> [Everyone needs someone to love, and I choose you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/everyone-needs-someone-to-love-and-i-choose-you/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-interviewing-people-and-i-ve/)

[Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/)

> [“To be loved by a man, truly loved, made a woman feel as if she could burst. Of course, Lia was strong and could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melody-anne/to-be-loved-by-a-man-truly-loved-made-a-woman-feel-as-if-she-could/)

[Melody Anne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melody-anne/)

> [So when you take those tears, don't look to see I'm alright. …\*Seal - Violet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-nickel/so-when-you-take-those-tears-don-t-look-to-see-i-m-alright-seal-violet/)

[Eric Nickel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-nickel/)

> [Two things revolutionised life: moving to the countryside and falling in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-love/two-things-revolutionised-life-moving-to-the-countryside-and-falling/)

[Nick Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-love/)

> [“That horrible stinging sensation returned, the muscles behind my eyes straining as the first tear began to fall. “I’m scared, too. For eighteen months…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/devon-ashley/that-horrible-stinging-sensation-returned-the-muscles-behind-my-eyes/)

[Devon Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/devon-ashley/)

> [I could program a 'fabulous, I love it' kind of hit season right now. I'm more interested in breaking boundaries, telling a story, defying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-c-wolfe/i-could-program-a-fabulous-i-love-it-kind-of-hit-season-right-now-i-m/)

[George C. Wolfe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-c-wolfe/)

[Browse all 233,035 Love quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "There is no man at once so unselfish and selfish as a man in love.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Thomas Bailey Aldrich"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/there-is-no-man-at-once-so-unselfish-and-selfish-as-a-man-in-love/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Love"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/there-is-no-man-at-once-so-unselfish-and-selfish-as-a-man-in-love/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/thomas-bailey-aldrich-4098_love_there-is-no-man-at-once-so-unselfish-and_13251.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/thomas-bailey-aldrich-4098_love_there-is-no-man-at-once-so-unselfish-and_13251.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/645/thomas-bailey-aldrich-4098_love_there-is-no-man-at-once-so-unselfish-and_13251.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“There is no man at once so unselfish and selfish as a man in love.” — Thomas Bailey Aldrich",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Thomas Bailey Aldrich",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "There is no man at once...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/there-is-no-man-at-once-so-unselfish-and-selfish-as-a-man-in-love/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/there-is-no-man-at-once-so-unselfish-and-selfish-as-a-man-in-love/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
