--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The ability to have our own way, and at…" description: "\"The ability to have our own way, and at the same time convince others they are having their own way, is a rare thing among men. Among women it is as co..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62f/thomas-bailey-aldrich-4098_ability_the-ability-to-have-our-own-way-and-at-t_2218841.png" --- # The ability to have our own way, and at the same time… ![“The ability to have our own way, and at the same time convince others they are having their own way, is a rare thing among men. Among women it is as common as eyebrows.” quote by Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62f/thomas-bailey-aldrich-4098_ability_the-ability-to-have-our-own-way-and-at-t_2218841.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62f/thomas-bailey-aldrich-4098_ability_the-ability-to-have-our-own-way-and-at-t_2218841.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62f/thomas-bailey-aldrich-4098_ability_the-ability-to-have-our-own-way-and-at-t_2218841.png) > “The ability to have our own way, and at the same time convince others they are having their own way, is a rare thing among men. Among women it is as common as eyebrows.” [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Persuasion is powerful when people feel they are acting freely, not being led. **In simple terms:** Influence works best when others think they choose themselves. Key Takeaway Practice empathetic persuasion, respect autonomy. Themes leadership influence autonomy communication gender dynamics Mood thoughtful analytical pragmatic Type literary observational When to use this quote - management - politics - personal relationships Key Concepts psychology of persuasion social dynamics Questions to Reflect On - When have you successfully guided someone without overt direction? - How can you ensure genuine choice? A Different Perspective Risk of manipulation if autonomy is only an illusion. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Ability](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ability/) [Feminism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feminism/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [Rare things](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rare-things/) [Women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/women/) ## Related quotes > [“Have fun with this journey, people. The road won't seem so long if you're having along the way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judy-l-mohr/have-fun-with-this-journey-people-the-road-won-t-seem-so-long-if-you/) Judy L Mohr > [“The more the other party thinks he's having his way, the easier always to get your own.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerome-k-jerome/the-more-the-other-party-thinks-he-s-having-his-way-the-easier-always/) [Jerome K. Jerome](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerome-k-jerome/) > [In marriage it is never having my own way. It is rather discovering our way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-chapman/in-marriage-it-is-never-having-my-own-way-it-is-rather-discovering/) [Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-chapman/) > [I'm having way too much fun on 'The Walking Dead.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/corey-hawkins/i-m-having-way-too-much-fun-on-the-walking-dead/) [Corey Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/corey-hawkins/) > [The one thing that men and women have in common - they both like the company of men.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-douglas/the-one-thing-that-men-and-women-have-in-common-they-both-like-the/) [Michael Douglas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-douglas/) > [I'm a director and a writer, and I'm used to having my way. I'm not used to being a vessel for other people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desiree-akhavan/i-m-a-director-and-a-writer-and-i-m-used-to-having-my-way-i-m-not/) [Desiree Akhavan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desiree-akhavan/) > [I'm always astounded at the way we automatically look at what divides and separates us. We never look at what people have in common.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/i-m-always-astounded-at-the-way-we-automatically-look-at-what-divides/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) > [I tend to go for women with common sense. Being down to earth stands out more than looks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-tend-to-go-for-women-with-common-sense-being-down-to-earth-stands/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“People made no sense to her. Men, with whom she had everything in common, did not want her around. Women, with whom she had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philipp-meyer/people-made-no-sense-to-her-men-with-whom-she-had-everything-in/) [Philipp Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philipp-meyer/) > [You must be interested in finding the best way, not in having your own way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-wooden/you-must-be-interested-in-finding-the-best-way-not-in-having-your-own/) [John Wooden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-wooden/) > [Life is having its way with me now. And I'm really pleased.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-bridges/life-is-having-its-way-with-me-now-and-i-m-really-pleased/) [Jeff Bridges](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-bridges/) > [“Marriage is a matter for common sense." "But women who have common sense are so curiously plain, father, aren't they? Of course I only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/marriage-is-a-matter-for-common-sense-but-women-who-have-common-sense/) [Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/) > [Having everything your way is highly overrated.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-meyer/having-everything-your-way-is-highly-overrated/) [Joyce Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-meyer/) > [History is reticent about women who were common soldiers, who bore arms, belonged to regiments, and took part in battles on the same terms…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/history-is-reticent-about-women-who-were-common-soldiers-who-bore/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Don't get married to the idea of something having to be one way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hannah-bronfman/don-t-get-married-to-the-idea-of-something-having-to-be-one-way/) [Hannah Bronfman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hannah-bronfman/) ## More by Thomas Bailey Aldrich > [No bird has ever uttered note That was not in some first bird's throat; Since Eden's freshness and man's fall No rose has been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/no-bird-has-ever-uttered-note-that-was-not-in-some-first-bird-s/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [There is no man at once so unselfish and selfish as a man in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/there-is-no-man-at-once-so-unselfish-and-selfish-as-a-man-in-love/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [I have frequently noticed how circumstances conspire to help a man, or a boy, when he has thoroughly resolved on doing a thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/i-have-frequently-noticed-how-circumstances-conspire-to-help-a-man-or/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [Everywhere on the Continent, the tourist is looked upon as a bird to be plucked, and presently the bird himself feebly comes to regard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/everywhere-on-the-continent-the-tourist-is-looked-upon-as-a-bird-to/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [Imagine all human beings swept off the face of the earth, excepting one man. Imagine this man in some vast city, New York or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/imagine-all-human-beings-swept-off-the-face-of-the-earth-excepting/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [The possession of gold has ruined fewer men than the lack of it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/the-possession-of-gold-has-ruined-fewer-men-than-the-lack-of-it/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [“..Fell over the prostrate steersman, and there we all lay in a heep, two or three of us quite picturesque with the nosebleed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/fell-over-the-prostrate-steersman-and-there-we-all-lay-in-a-heep-two/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [A man should have duties outside of himself; without them, he is a mere balloon, inflated with thin egotism and drifting nowhere.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/a-man-should-have-duties-outside-of-himself-without-them-he-is-a-mere/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [Great thoughts in crude, unshapely verse set forth lose half their preciousness, and ever must, unless the diamond with its own rich dust be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/great-thoughts-in-crude-unshapely-verse-set-forth-lose-half-their/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [So I sit there kicked my heels, thinking about New Orleans, and watching a morbid blue-bottle fly attempt to commit suicide by butting his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/so-i-sit-there-kicked-my-heels-thinking-about-new-orleans-and/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [What is more cheerful, now, in the fall of the year, than an open-wood-fire? Do you hear those little chirps and twitters coming out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/what-is-more-cheerful-now-in-the-fall-of-the-year-than-an-open-wood/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [Decoration Day is the most beautiful of our national holidays… The grim cannon have turned into palm branches, and the shell and shrapnel into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/decoration-day-is-the-most-beautiful-of-our-national-holidays-the/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [Famous old houses seem to have an intuitive perception of the value of corner lots. If it is a possible thing, they always set…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/famous-old-houses-seem-to-have-an-intuitive-perception-of-the-value/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [Every man has within himself a gold mine whose riches are limited only by his own industry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/every-man-has-within-himself-a-gold-mine-whose-riches-are-limited/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) > [The fate of the worm refutes the pretended ethical teaching of the proverb, which assumes to illustrate the advantage of early rising and does…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-bailey-aldrich/the-fate-of-the-worm-refutes-the-pretended-ethical-teaching-of-the/) [Thomas Bailey Aldrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) [Explore all 116 Thomas Bailey Aldrich quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-bailey-aldrich/) ## More Ability quotes > [I don't think there's a direct correlation between my sexuality and my skiing ability. But I think because I was so concerned about it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gus-kenworthy/i-don-t-think-there-s-a-direct-correlation-between-my-sexuality-and/) [Gus Kenworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gus-kenworthy/) > [“the importance of ability. The things that make a great job great, I discovered, are rare and valuable. If you want them in your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cal-newport/the-importance-of-ability-the-things-that-make-a-great-job-great-i/) [Cal Newport](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cal-newport/) > [Ambition drives you on, ability certainly helps, but the fickle finger of fate and luck are great things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fergus-henderson/ambition-drives-you-on-ability-certainly-helps-but-the-fickle-finger/) [Fergus Henderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fergus-henderson/) > [The ability of the gospel to unite us on common strengths and common truths is one of the great miracles . . . of the gospel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-r-holland/the-ability-of-the-gospel-to-unite-us-on-common-strengths-and-common/) [Jeffrey R. Holland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-r-holland/) > [Maybe law enforcement would like the ability to turn on the camera on your Mac.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-cook/maybe-law-enforcement-would-like-the-ability-to-turn-on-the-camera-on/) [Tim Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-cook/) > [I've seen guys come along with more ability - they've been faster or bigger or stronger - but they never worked hard to develop…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-largent/i-ve-seen-guys-come-along-with-more-ability-they-ve-been-faster-or/) [Steve Largent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-largent/) > [The youth of India has the strength to move the entire World with a click of a mouse, we have generated that ability!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/narendra-modi/the-youth-of-india-has-the-strength-to-move-the-entire-world-with-a/) [Narendra Modi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/narendra-modi/) > [Time hath not yet so dried this blood of mine, Nor age so eat up my invention, Nor fortune made such havoc of my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/time-hath-not-yet-so-dried-this-blood-of-mine-nor-age-so-eat-up-my/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [An absolutely necessary part of a writer's equipment, almost as necessary as talent, is the ability to stand up under punishment, both the punishment…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irwin-shaw/an-absolutely-necessary-part-of-a-writer-s-equipment-almost-as/) [Irwin Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irwin-shaw/) > [I'd be more frightened by not using whatever abilities I'd been given. I'd be more frightened by procrastination and laziness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denzel-washington/i-d-be-more-frightened-by-not-using-whatever-abilities-i-d-been-given/) [Denzel Washington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denzel-washington/) > [Bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. Take what I cannot give: my heart, body, thoughts, time, abilities, money, health, strength,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-prentiss/bring-into-captivity-every-thought-to-the-obedience-of-christ-take/) [Elizabeth Prentiss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-prentiss/) > [You can only do the work to the very best of your ability.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-baranski/you-can-only-do-the-work-to-the-very-best-of-your-ability/) [Christine Baranski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine-baranski/) > [Judge a person not by his ability to make money but by his ability to retain it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/judge-a-person-not-by-his-ability-to-make-money-but-by-his-ability-to/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [Balance is the ability to be happy in the midst of the most chaotic or even boring or transient circumstance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/balance-is-the-ability-to-be-happy-in-the-midst-of-the-most-chaotic/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Bobby had faith in my ability as a singer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-london/bobby-had-faith-in-my-ability-as-a-singer/) [Julie London](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-london/) [Browse all 9,990 Ability quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ability/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The ability to have our own way, and at the same time convince others they are having their own way, is a rare thing among men. 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