--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If there were such a thing as an…" description: "\"If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.\" — Terry Pratchett" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8c/terry-pratchett-19_ankh_if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-an-inter-c_3162481.jpg" --- # If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving… ![“If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.” quote by Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8c/terry-pratchett-19_ankh_if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-an-inter-c_3162481.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8c/terry-pratchett-19_ankh_if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-an-inter-c_3162481.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8c/terry-pratchett-19_ankh_if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-an-inter-c_3162481.jpg) > “If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.” [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A humorous claim that the city would dominate a theft competition, reflecting its notorious reputation for crime and cunning. **In simple terms:** Ankh-Morpork would win a stealing contest. Key Takeaway Expect the unexpected in places known for mischief. Themes humor city life crime competition Mood playful ironic Type satirical humorous When to use this quote - travel anecdotes - crime fiction - role‑playing games - city tours Key Concepts satire social commentary urban folklore Questions to Reflect On - What does this say about how we romanticize criminal cities? - How does humor affect our view of crime? A Different Perspective The joke may overlook real victims of theft. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Ankh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ankh/) [Cities](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cities/) [City Thieving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/city-thieving-5721909/) [Contests](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/contests/) [Home](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/home/) [Morpork Bring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/morpork-bring-3738898/) [Thief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thief/) [Thieving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thieving/) [Thieving Contest](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thieving-contest-3738895/) [Trophies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trophies/) [Trophy Probably](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trophy-probably-3738897/) [Wallets](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wallets/) ## Related quotes > [“In fact, if there were such a thing as an international thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone's wallets.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/in-fact-if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-an-international-thieving/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Luck is my middle name. Mind you, my first name is Bad.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/luck-is-my-middle-name-mind-you-my-first-name-is-bad/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Poets have tried to describe Ankh-Morpork. They have failed. Perhaps it's the sheer zestful vitality of the place, or maybe it's just that a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/poets-have-tried-to-describe-ankh-morpork-they-have-failed-perhaps-it/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. 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There's more pressure on a vet to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/i-think-that-sick-people-in-ankh-morpork-generally-go-to-a-vet-it-s/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [The point is that descriptive writing is very rarely entirely accurate and during the reign of Olaf Quimby II as Patrician of Ankh-Morpork some…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-point-is-that-descriptive-writing-is-very-rarely-entirely-2/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. 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From…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/sergeant-colon-of-the-ankh-morpork-city-guard-was-on-duty-he-was/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [The people of Ankh-Morpork had a straightforward, no-nonsense approach to entertainment, and while they were looking forward to seeing a dragon slain, they'd be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-people-of-ankh-morpork-had-a-straightforward-no-nonsense-approach/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [He found that he had this sudden desperate longing for the fuming, smoky streets of Ankh-Morpork, which was always at its best in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/he-found-that-he-had-this-sudden-desperate-longing-for-the-fuming/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Technically, the city of Ankh-Morpork is a Tyranny, which is not always the same thing as a monarchy, and in fact even the post…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/technically-the-city-of-ankh-morpork-is-a-tyranny-which-is-not-always/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/a-number-of-religions-in-ankh-morpork-still-practiced-human-sacrifice/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure. 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Much family…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/it-s-an-interesting-fact-that-fewer-than-17-of-real-cats-end-their/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [You can't trust folk songs. They always sneak up on you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-can-t-trust-folk-songs-they-always-sneak-up-on-you/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/either-dragons-should-exist-completely-or-fail-to-exist-at-all-he/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/magrat-wondered-what-it-was-like-spending-your-whole-life-doing/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/a-hardback-s-harder-at-christmas-time-because-that-s-a-good-hardback/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. 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Mind you, my first name is Bad.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/luck-is-my-middle-name-mind-you-my-first-name-is-bad/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“A number of religions in Ankh-Morpork still practiced human sacrifice, except that they didn't really need to practice any more because they had got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/a-number-of-religions-in-ankh-morpork-still-practiced-human-sacrifice/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Technically, the city of Ankh-Morpork is a Tyranny, which is not always the same thing as a monarchy, and in fact even the post…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/technically-the-city-of-ankh-morpork-is-a-tyranny-which-is-not-always/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [He found that he had this sudden desperate longing for the fuming, smoky streets of Ankh-Morpork, which was always at its best in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/he-found-that-he-had-this-sudden-desperate-longing-for-the-fuming/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [The people of Ankh-Morpork had a straightforward, no-nonsense approach to entertainment, and while they were looking forward to seeing a dragon slain, they'd be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-people-of-ankh-morpork-had-a-straightforward-no-nonsense-approach/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Sergeant Colon of the Ankh-Morpork City Guard was on duty. He was guarding the Brass Bridge, the main link between Ankh and Morpork. From…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/sergeant-colon-of-the-ankh-morpork-city-guard-was-on-duty-he-was/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [It was Carrot who'd suggested to the Patrician that hardened criminals should be given the chance to 'serve the community' by redecorating the homes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/it-was-carrot-who-d-suggested-to-the-patrician-that-hardened/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. 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I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susanna-clarke/he-said-were-he-only-like-his-sister-what-a-difference-that-would/) [Susanna Clarke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susanna-clarke/) > [Poets have tried to describe Ankh-Morpork. They have failed. Perhaps it's the sheer zestful vitality of the place, or maybe it's just that a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/poets-have-tried-to-describe-ankh-morpork-they-have-failed-perhaps-it/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“Without warning a lady appeared. She came from the direction of Friday-street, for she had just been with Mr. Newbolt. She strode capably through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susanna-clarke/without-warning-a-lady-appeared-she-came-from-the-direction-of-friday/) [Susanna Clarke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susanna-clarke/) [Browse all 22 Ankh quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ankh/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and probably everyone’s wallets.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-an-inter-city-thieving-contest-ankh/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Ankh" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-an-inter-city-thieving-contest-ankh/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8c/terry-pratchett-19_ankh_if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-an-inter-c_3162481.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8c/terry-pratchett-19_ankh_if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-an-inter-c_3162481.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8c/terry-pratchett-19_ankh_if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-an-inter-c_3162481.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If there were such a thing as an inter-city thieving contest, Ankh-Morpork would bring home the trophy and…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Terry Pratchett", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "If there were such a thing...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-an-inter-city-thieving-contest-ankh/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-an-inter-city-thieving-contest-ankh/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```