---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: And the rules were so clear, you could…"
description: "\"And the rules were so clear, you could not deviate from that all. And I think it especially damaged my sisters because there was nothing they could do ..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/terry-gross-9637_approval_and-the-rules-were-so-clear-you-could-no_2385120.jpg"
---

#  And the rules were so clear, you could not deviate from…

![“And the rules were so clear, you could not deviate from that all. And I think it especially damaged my sisters because there was nothing they could do to get my father's attention, to win his approval. They could not play sports. They could not do these other things. They could not be tough. They…” quote by Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/terry-gross-9637_approval_and-the-rules-were-so-clear-you-could-no_2385120.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/terry-gross-9637_approval_and-the-rules-were-so-clear-you-could-no_2385120.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/terry-gross-9637_approval_and-the-rules-were-so-clear-you-could-no_2385120.jpg)

> “And the rules were so clear, you could not deviate from that all. And I think it especially damaged my sisters because there was nothing they could do to get my father's attention, to win his approval. They could not play sports. They could not do these other things. They could not be tough. They could not be macho. And so I think they suffered just from sheer neglect if nothing else.”

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The speaker describes how rigid gender expectations and lack of emotional support harmed his sisters, limiting their activities and self‑esteem.

**In simple terms:** Strict gender roles caused neglect and limited opportunities for his sisters.

Key Takeaway

Recognize and challenge restrictive gender norms.

Themes

gender roles family dynamics neglect emotional health

Mood

sad reflective concerned

Type

analytical social commentary

When to use this quote

- parent‑child relationships
- education
- mental health support
- community programs

Key Concepts

masculinity social expectations psychology

Questions to Reflect On

- How can families foster inclusive support for all genders?
- What steps can individuals take to break harmful stereotypes?

A Different Perspective

Such expectations can be deeply internalized, making change difficult.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Approval](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/approval/) [Attention](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attention/) [Clear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/clear/) [Damaged Sisters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/damaged-sisters-5921296/) [Deviate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deviate/) [Father](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/father/) [Ifs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ifs/) [Macho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/macho/) [My sister](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/my-sister/) [Neglect](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/neglect/) [Play](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/play/) [Play Sports](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/play-sports/) [Sheer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sheer/) [Sheer Neglect](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sheer-neglect-5921295/) [Sisters](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sisters/) [Sisters Father](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sisters-father-2301186/) [Sports](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sports/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) [Tough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tough/) [Winning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/winning/)

## Related quotes

> [I have two sisters. My father is Greek and comes from a family of seven. My mother is English and comes from a family…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-michael/i-have-two-sisters-my-father-is-greek-and-comes-from-a-family-of/)

[George Michael](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-michael/)

> [I learned respect for womanhood from my father's tender caring for my mother, my sister, and his sisters. Father was the first to arise…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-d-hales/i-learned-respect-for-womanhood-from-my-father-s-tender-caring-for-my/)

[Robert D. Hales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-d-hales/)

> [“Svenson jammed the cap down over his ears and marched for the door. “ ‘Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to war we go!’…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlotte-macleod/svenson-jammed-the-cap-down-over-his-ears-and-marched-for-the-door-hi/)

[Charlotte MacLeod](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlotte-macleod/)

> [My mom's real cool. We're like sisters. My father wasn't there, but she was always there.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trina/my-mom-s-real-cool-we-re-like-sisters-my-father-wasn-t-there-but-she/)

[Trina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trina/)

> [Turkey's path toward Europe started back in 1959, almost 50 years ago. But we have been pushed to the side ever since. Despite all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/recep-tayyip-erdogan/turkey-s-path-toward-europe-started-back-in-1959-almost-50-years-ago/)

[Recep Tayyip Erdogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/recep-tayyip-erdogan/)

> [Now although man is created for the possession of happiness, yet, having deviated from his true end, his nature has become deformed and is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-of-genoa/now-although-man-is-created-for-the-possession-of-happiness-yet/)

[Catherine of Genoa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-of-genoa/)

> [A horizontal or vertical line lacks energy, compared with one that deviates from either. The difference between these graphic expressions is the difference between…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-j-phillips/a-horizontal-or-vertical-line-lacks-energy-compared-with-one-that/)

[Walter J. Phillips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-j-phillips/)

> [“Do not drift to deviate in life for tears, instead steer with the right gear of clarity, focus, and purpose; That is where the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ebinezar-gnanasekaran/do-not-drift-to-deviate-in-life-for-tears-instead-steer-with-the/)

[Ebinezar Gnanasekaran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ebinezar-gnanasekaran/)

> [It's important to have a plan, a big picture. You can deviate from it or change it completely, but it gives you something to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shannon-miller/it-s-important-to-have-a-plan-a-big-picture-you-can-deviate-from-it/)

[Shannon Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shannon-miller/)

> [Decisions are constantly before us. To make them wisely, courage is needed-the courage to say no, the courage to say yes. Decisions do determine…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-s-monson/decisions-are-constantly-before-us-to-make-them-wisely-courage-is/)

[Thomas S. Monson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-s-monson/)

> [Somedays the line I walk turns out to be straight - Other days the line tends to deviate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ani-difranco/somedays-the-line-i-walk-turns-out-to-be-straight-other-days-the-line/)

[Ani DiFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ani-difranco/)

> [I want to be able to write, that's my first love and I don't want to deviate from it even though I probably could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-greene/i-want-to-be-able-to-write-that-s-my-first-love-and-i-don-t-want-to/)

[Robert Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-greene/)

> [I did not come to power to divide Somali but to unite them, and I will never deviate from this path. I shall respect…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/siad-barre/i-did-not-come-to-power-to-divide-somali-but-to-unite-them-and-i-will/)

[Siad Barre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/siad-barre/)

> [Love is who we are, and when we deviate from that love we're deviating from our ultimate, essential, eternal reality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marianne-williamson/love-is-who-we-are-and-when-we-deviate-from-that-love-we-re-deviating/)

[Marianne Williamson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marianne-williamson/)

> [Literature transforms and intensifies ordinary language, deviates systematically from everyday speech. If you approach me at a bus stop and murmur Thou still unravished…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-eagleton/literature-transforms-and-intensifies-ordinary-language-deviates/)

[Terry Eagleton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-eagleton/)

## More by Terry Gross

> [The excitement for me lies not so much in interviewing the hard-to-get famous person, but the person whom you are about to discover. You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/the-excitement-for-me-lies-not-so-much-in-interviewing-the-hard-to/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [Work can take on a new dimension if you know something about the artist.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/work-can-take-on-a-new-dimension-if-you-know-something-about-the/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [Google started as a free search engine. It's still free, but now it's making a lot of money on ads, right? A lot of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/google-started-as-a-free-search-engine-it-s-still-free-but-now-it-s/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [When I hear a politician speak biographically, I never know what's part of the campaign biography narrative that's been carefully crafted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/when-i-hear-a-politician-speak-biographically-i-never-know-what-s/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [When you're reading a newspaper and you're seeing ads on the page, it's not kind of invasive. Like, it's on the page next to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/when-you-re-reading-a-newspaper-and-you-re-seeing-ads-on-the-page-it/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [I'm first generation American, and my parents were both from Nigeria. And so I always say that I'm literally an African American. So my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/i-m-first-generation-american-and-my-parents-were-both-from-nigeria/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [Dad mistook - for some reason unbeknownst to me - he mistook his family for a platoon of Marines. I mean, he - the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/dad-mistook-for-some-reason-unbeknownst-to-me-he-mistook-his-family/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [I respect someone's right to privacy and I want them to know it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/i-respect-someone-s-right-to-privacy-and-i-want-them-to-know-it/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [I was thinking about comedy and how comedy in many ways opens us up to ideas and really being influenced by Richard Pryor and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/i-was-thinking-about-comedy-and-how-comedy-in-many-ways-opens-us-up/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [My parents were pretty open about a lot of things, especially my mom. And any kind of little crazy thing I was into, she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/my-parents-were-pretty-open-about-a-lot-of-things-especially-my-mom/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [I was in an adolescent psychology class at Citadel when the guy said, if you had a mother who was beaten, there's a great…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/i-was-in-an-adolescent-psychology-class-at-citadel-when-the-guy-said/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [You know, how am I leading my own life? What am I denying? Since I brought such great powers of denial into my adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/you-know-how-am-i-leading-my-own-life-what-am-i-denying-since-i/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [So when the book came out, my mother stunned us all by leaving my father. I think three months before the book came out,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/so-when-the-book-came-out-my-mother-stunned-us-all-by-leaving-my/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [Sometimes when I'm on the internet, I'll get this, like, which of these ad experiences would you prefer? And I'll have a choice of,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/sometimes-when-i-m-on-the-internet-i-ll-get-this-like-which-of-these/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

> [I mean, Dad's - you know, Dad's friendliest tone was a scream.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/i-mean-dad-s-you-know-dad-s-friendliest-tone-was-a-scream/)

[Terry Gross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

[Explore all 71 Terry Gross quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/)

## More Approval quotes

> [Anyone who's read my 'Terror in the Skies' series knows that I have not been writing with an eye toward approval from any government…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-jacobsen/anyone-who-s-read-my-terror-in-the-skies-series-knows-that-i-have-not/)

[Annie Jacobsen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-jacobsen/)

> [we need not avoid our active lives, but simply bring to them a new vision and shift of gravity. for in the center we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sue-monk-kidd/we-need-not-avoid-our-active-lives-but-simply-bring-to-them-a-new/)

[Sue Monk Kidd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sue-monk-kidd/)

> [Lean too much on the approval of people, and it becomes a bed of thorns](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tehyi-hsieh/lean-too-much-on-the-approval-of-people-and-it-becomes-a-bed-of-thorns/)

[Tehyi Hsieh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tehyi-hsieh/)

> [But I always reassure them that as far as my contractual rights can go, I will protect them and make sure that they have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-roach/but-i-always-reassure-them-that-as-far-as-my-contractual-rights-can/)

[Jay Roach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-roach/)

> [Growing up in that fashion is a breeding ground for insecurity and doubt; it also leaves you questioning motives. It took me a long…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/damon-runyon/growing-up-in-that-fashion-is-a-breeding-ground-for-insecurity-and/)

[Damon Runyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/damon-runyon/)

> [A year ago, my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the supreme court had just withdrawn, and my vice president had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-w-bush/a-year-ago-my-approval-rating-was-in-the-30s-my-nominee-for-the/)

[George W. Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-w-bush/)

> [Approval is a greater motivator than disapproval, but we have to disapprove on occasion when we correct. It’s necessary. I make corrections only after…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-wooden/approval-is-a-greater-motivator-than-disapproval-but-we-have-to/)

[John Wooden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-wooden/)

> [These days people are mean to people just because they don't like the way they look. No-one should be hated because of their flaws.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonya-parker/these-days-people-are-mean-to-people-just-because-they-don-t-like-the/)

[Sonya Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonya-parker/)

> [I got this emptiness inside that got me fighting for approval because I missed out on my daddy saying, Way to Go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lecrae/i-got-this-emptiness-inside-that-got-me-fighting-for-approval-because/)

[Lecrae](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lecrae/)

> [My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roseanne-barr/my-dad-taught-me-swears-when-i-was-a-toddler-and-i-saw-at-a-really/)

[Roseanne Barr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roseanne-barr/)

> [If torture is going to be administered as a last resort in the ticking-bomb case, to save enormous numbers of lives, it ought to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-dershowitz/if-torture-is-going-to-be-administered-as-a-last-resort-in-the/)

[Alan Dershowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-dershowitz/)

> [Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-chappelle/comedy-is-a-very-approval-oriented-field/)

[Dave Chappelle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-chappelle/)

> [Whenever you are too worried about someone else's approval, that person loses respect for you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherry-argov/whenever-you-are-too-worried-about-someone-else-s-approval-that/)

[Sherry Argov](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherry-argov/)

> [Pleasure is Nature's test, her sign of approval.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/pleasure-is-nature-s-test-her-sign-of-approval/)

[Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/)

> [Do you really mean the only reason you try to be good is to gain God's approval and reward? That's not morality, that's just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-dawkins/do-you-really-mean-the-only-reason-you-try-to-be-good-is-to-gain-god/)

[Richard Dawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-dawkins/)

[Browse all 904 Approval quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/approval/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "And the rules were so clear, you could not deviate from that all. And I think it especially damaged my sisters because there was nothing they could do to get my father's attention, to win his approval. They could not play sports. They could not do these other things. They could not be tough. They could not be macho. And so I think they suffered just from sheer neglect if nothing else.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Terry Gross"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/and-the-rules-were-so-clear-you-could-not-deviate-from-that-all-and-i/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Approval"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/and-the-rules-were-so-clear-you-could-not-deviate-from-that-all-and-i/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/terry-gross-9637_approval_and-the-rules-were-so-clear-you-could-no_2385120.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/terry-gross-9637_approval_and-the-rules-were-so-clear-you-could-no_2385120.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d5/terry-gross-9637_approval_and-the-rules-were-so-clear-you-could-no_2385120.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“And the rules were so clear, you could not deviate from that all. And I think it especially damaged my…” — Terry Gross",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Terry Gross",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-gross/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "And the rules were so clear,...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/and-the-rules-were-so-clear-you-could-not-deviate-from-that-all-and-i/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-gross/and-the-rules-were-so-clear-you-could-not-deviate-from-that-all-and-i/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
